NOT PERPETRATORS
Mutual Amnesia

I ran to find the toilet. I ignored my husband who kept calling while tailing behind me.

"Excuse me, miss, can you show me where the toilet is?"

To a young lady in a pink dress I asked in a hurry.

"On the right, it's straight." He pointed in a direction.

"Thank you."

Mas Bastian who was following me, suddenly turned around, after asking something to the pink dress lady earlier.

I put my foot in the toilet. I exhaled a long breath. Ah, here's a little relieved. Although tightness in the chest is still shackled. At least I am safe here. Letting these eyes finish the pain.

I put my shadow in the mirror. I looked at the reflection of the shadow carefully. The poor woman who waited for years for her heart. The woman who was once the luckiest had a figure like her. He who left the Princess alone, waited for a promise so beautiful. Until there's no news of him, disappear, scram.

After a long wait, longing. Now it's torn apart by tsunami waves. His heart was broken, crushed in the waves. Watching the man who still reigns over his heart, ties up with other women. Burying alive the sweet promise he once pledged.

Kuseka slowly clear rounders on the face. Stupidhead! What's the point of crying. Look how he is now? That dream he had held. He managed to grab it. Successfully become a young doctor. And now .. I feel betrayed.

[Hi, Princess Goose? Your Eagle Prince landed well in Uncle Sam's land.]

[Thank God .. I hope your wings aren't hurt. You flew too far.]

[I'm fine Mr. Princess.]

I'm the one who can't be okay.

[I miss you, Prince.]

[It's only been a few days, Princess.]

Yeah, just a few days. I don't know how many hundred days I'm gonna hold back from missing you, Di.

[Will?]

[Hm .... ]

[I love you.]

[Yes, I know.]

[How much do you know about me?]

[Unlimited.]

[Really. Then let me stay here. Achieving dreams. Let me learn, and fight. If you really understand me. You should have supported this prince of yours. For our future. Believe that! I must have come back in your arms. I promise! ]

[Am I impressed to get in your way?]

[I didn't say that.]

[Alright, fight my Eagle Prince. I'll be waiting for you. And s'then love you. All right, baby, take care of your health, don't forget to miss me, Love.]

A few days after his departure in the United States, we are still texting. Four months we had a good LDR. Until that incident.

[Yes, Nia.]

[Why is my message not answered?]

It was during the week that not a single message came from him. I'm pissed!

[Nia, I'm here to learn. Not for fooling around. Please ... You do not childish.]

[Yes, I am a child!]

Waiting for a reply from him. One minute ... two .. three. My message was sent, but it hasn't been opened yet. Is that busy? Nights like this? Yeah, day time here, night in California. The clock shows at 13:20 WIB (Friday). Which means in California it's still 22:20 (Thursday afternoon). Indonesia is 15 hours ahead of California.

[Di, if you don't reply for an hour, we break up!]

I'm not seriously saying that. I was just bluffing. And right, exactly an hour later she sent a poem in Ms.'s appendix. Word.

My star

By. Dimas A's. W

Darkness of night

My life don't

My heart is not

World's skin

Just as there is your love

Everything feels beautiful

Your light is like a star

Indicate my night

Although far from holding back longs

Your shadow always

Present my night garnish

California, December 13, 2011

[We are still being?]

[Considered?] My reply.

[Don't say that again, please!]

[I'm sorry, Di. I worry about you too much.]

[What else do you doubt? Nia, I've missed you. But understand me. I'm a New Student. In my first year I had to stay in a dorm. Comply with all the rules. Aren't you in college too? Fight and achieve your goals! We both fight! See you later in Indonesia, dear. Miss I You.]

[I Miss You Too. Go sleep! Rest up! It's almost one in the morning.]

[You got to memorize my time zone. Thank you .. forgive this over-busy Prince, yes.]

The last poem from him. Since then, my message has never been sent again. So much for his ambition to learn that he forgot to tell me. Putting myself aside to achieve my goals. I should have understood. But this miss is too heavy. Is it wrong to ask your attention for a little bit?

Don't know why until he completely forgets me. Or rather, ignore me. Am I overreacting? Or maybe I just want him to be all of mine? Lest he grow tired of my possessive and spoiled attitude. Or if true, he had tempted the pretty girls in the land of Uncle Sam.

The sense of prestige made me reluctant to contact him first. Enough for me his attitude now proves he's really busy. An ambitious man who is thick with his obsession. I just miss you, Dimas. My mistake?

Different from the Dimas I used to know. Attentive, silly, who couldn't just one day not call me. Even if it just reminds me to eat, or just say good night.

I went to college too, Di. But not as busy as you. Just giving news to the girlfriend, it was not possible. Ever since your cold attitude I have decided to let you fly freely to achieve your dreams.

Get used to floating in the longing that curbs the taste. If only I could fly these wings far away. I want to reach for you far away. Unfortunately, I'm just a goose. What power, I'll wait for your return to me. As you promised, in the Rainbow Garden.

***

Geck! Geck! Geck!

I heard the sound of the toilet door knocking. I immediately washed my face so that no one would know the red marks were swelling in my eyes. Thought with tissue, then with a plain face without the rest of the make up, I forced myself to cue.

I don't care about my natural appearance anymore. I stared fixedly at my twin shadow in the mirror.

"From now on I'm determined to no longer care about a Doctor Eagle. Enough already! Enough of her empty love drama! Dimas Adi Wibowo! Listen carefully. From now on, we're going to have AMNESIA!"

Geck! Geck! Geck!

"Yes, a minute ...."

I made sure my emotions had improved. I made my hijab, then I opened the toilet door.

Krekks!

"More."

How surprising. A man stands straight in front of a woman's toilet.

"Who are you?" I set my foot out of the toilet, and no matter who was standing in front of me.

"It!" call him while holding my arm.

"You who?" I removed the arm from the man's grasp. "Sorry, I don't know you!"

- CONNECTED --