Sexy Bodyguard Jack
Forgive Me

Legitimate.

That word became the link between me and James. The marriage relationship that my little heart thinks is completely illegitimate. The reason is, here, in the deepest recesses of my heart - I am forced to live this marriage. How can there be love without love in this marriage? A marriage that is not based on love, what will be the future of our marriage?

Sure do. Of course it would have felt better if my heart had not had its harbour - the love anchored in Bang Jack's heart - it would have felt younger for me to have had my marriage to James if this love had been not yet anchored to a Jack Peterson: the first man to save my life. If my heart is still empty, maybe I can learn to accept James' presence in my life. Maybe I can love her as easily as I love Bang Jack. If only....

But now, the truth is I already have a great love in my heart. It must have been very difficult for me to erase the love for Bang Jack and replace that love for my husband, Mr. James Harding. Must've been hard. In fact, maybe, maybe never will. Maybe I'll never be able to erase my love for Bang Jack, and maybe I'll never be able to love James. Bang Jack is my first love. And I know, my love is so great that I'm willing to sacrifice this much for Bang Jack, for Mama too. None of this is gonna be easy.

But it's all happened. It's happening....

Now I could only cry with tears, sitting alone in front of the mirror - staring at myself: in a white wedding dress. These tears flowed again as I returned alone in my bridal chamber, and, I had to hide when I was in front of others. James doesn't want anyone to know that I'm forced to accept this marriage. In an unwritten agreement, he asked me to show happiness - even in the form of falsehood.

I did not understand at all what James meant and intended: a quick marriage in series because it took place in an impromptu manner and, also remembering my age which was not yet nineteen years old, which he said there was no need for a reception, which was important to be legitimate and there was his marriage certificate - - I did not understand his intent and purpose. This is impossible because of love. I didn't even feel that the man was interested in me. Let alone in his heart, from the way he looked at me, there was absolutely no love implied in his eyes. But all I know is that the happiness of marriage that I have to show in front of people is the reciprocity of the care and security that he will provide for his mother Bang Jack. We had a deal.

And I'm willing to change everything for someone who means so much to Bang Jack - because, he's a man who means so much to me. Just as Mama meant so much to him, so much so did Bang Jack for me.

It'sit's okay. My sacrifice will not be in vain.

Chequek!

The door of the main room of the pavilion opened. I immediately wiped my tears. James doesn't want to see it.

"Our wedding is over. You... I mean you, you don't want to take off your dress?"

The deg!

Is he going to touch me now? Fearfully, I got up from my seat and turned around, facing the man with a downcast look.

"Miss?"

"Emm.. sorry, I. I...."

"Now let's talk to you and me."

God, I know I'm his wife. But this...?

"Rose?"

"Yes, yes, sir."

"Call me in other words."

"What-what? I... emm I... I must call you.. I mean... you, I.... I... I must call you..... what?"

He puts his shoulders. "Whatever."

"I. I don't know."

"The point is don't call me master, because I'm your husband now."

"Em." I nodded, though I didn't know what to call him with -- which was quite appropriate.

"Think about that later." James took a few steps forward and stopped right in front of me. Gently, she cupped my face and made me look up at her face. And in an instant, my judgment of his feelings was a little shaken.

Is it possible that he has special feelings for me right now?

"I told Papa who you really are, about Jack and your mother. And Papa has agreed to provide twenty-four hours of care and security for your mother. Papa will pay some private nurses who are in charge of taking care of him and providing the best care. So, there will be no other sisters, new sisters, let alone rowdy sisters and other unknown sisters who will approach my mother-in-law's ward. He'll be safe there." A sincere smile rose on his handsome face.

I'm relieved. "Thank you, sir."

"Hey?"

"Emm?"

"Call me...?"

"Oh, anu... emm... what.... what, yes...? Uh...."

"Darling, love, mas, sister, brother, honey, darling, whatever." He took his hand off my face.

And I shook my head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think those calls are anything that makes me comfortable. I'm not comfortable."

"Then call my name. James. Just it's. How's it?"

"It's Indonesia, and I don't think it's appropriate. Your age, your age is far above mine."

"Well, the middle way, call me My James. Because I'm your James. Yours."

Oh my God, this man is starting to show his sweetness. But why would I wish that he didn't have to love me? I don't want any love between us.

Well, I nodded. "I think it's better. I'm pretty comfortable calling you... My James."

"Well, now that we've become husband and wife, I want to...." James cupped my face back and stared fixedly at my eyes, then...

His face was getting closer and closer. Her warm breath swept across my skin. I was trembling with fear.fearing that he would actually touch me. Right now.

"Rose," he whispered in the ear. "You...."

"A-ap-what?" Eyes open.

"You're beautiful."

"Te-thank you."

"Rose?"

"Yes?"

"May me...?"

"What?"

"You understand, don't you?"

I'm nodding.

"So...?"

"Please." You're entitled. Even though my heart hurts.

"thank you. Jack's waiting for you in the living room."

Instantly I gasped to hear James whispering the sentence in my ear. Then he smiled.

"Don't worry, I won't touch you until you're nineteen and our marriage is official, completely legal, complete with a marriage book. I promise you. You can trust me."

I swear by anything, my eyes are wide open. And jauuuuh in my heart filled with gratitude. I'm glad to hear James make his promise.

"I know you're not ready yet" he said.

I'm nodding. Tears of gratitude trickled back in a smile. "Thank you."

"Ep. You welcome. There, you meet your brother. Ask for his blessing. Tell him that tomorrow we'll meet your mother, and we'll ask for her blessing as well. Okay?"

I nodded, though in my heart I returned to my arms. How can I face Bang Jack? I'll see the wound in his eye.

"Oh yeah, don't forget to tell Jack that you're okay here, and you're happy in this marriage. Remember our agreement. You got it, right?"

Again, I nodded. "All right," I said. "I understand."

"Rose?"

"Emm?"

"Don't tell anyone that I promise I won't touch you until you're nineteen. Let everyone think we're a happy couple tonight. Our bridal night, first night for you. You gotit?"

Again I can only nod. "alright. I. I get it."

"People would think you're a happy wife, wouldn't they?"

I'm nodding.

"Other people will think that tonight we're past our bridal night, won't we?"

I'm nodding.

"Including Jack?"

Oh my God, that would make him hurt. But I'm helpless. "Yes, I won't tell anyone. Including. including on Bang Jack."

"good. You are a good girl. A submissive wife. Go, meet your brother."

And now, I'm like a dagger ready to hit my lover's heart - or.... ex-lover?

I fear. But I still have to see him.

Ii'm sorry....