WHAT ABOUT ME?
58

Today's graduation went well even though I felt guilty at first for letting my mother wait for me outside of school.

After the event, I invited my mother to stop by Ida's house because this morning before I left for Gita's house, Grandpa Ida advised to take my mother home after school.

And here we are, in Ida's grandmother's house enjoying a deliberate meal at Ida's grandmother's message to celebrate my graduation.

"why wasn't Jefri brought here? though the mother was waiting for Jefri lo, the mother missed the mother's grandson, " asked Nek Ida to the mother

"Jefri will have to go to school mom, next time if it's semester break, insyaallah I will play here, "

mother and Nek Ida were already familiar from the first because several times Grandpa Ida asked mother to play to her house.

not only that, Nek Ida also asked that the mother consider him like her own mother so that they could get closer.

In the afternoon mom came home while I had to stay here because I was still waiting for the diploma to be issued.

actually, Grandma Ida had offered to stay but she refused because she was worried about Jefri at home even though she had left it to Bude Eni.

***

The day passed so quickly, the diploma was already in hand and I had already returned home to my own home since two days ago.

I have decided to stop working at Nek Ida's house because I am willing to accept an offer from Bu Tari to work at her shop.

Nek Ida was very happy when I said that if I was going to Jakarta, he even gave me an allowance for me as an additional daily fee there before the payday date.

"the files have you prepared brother? "

"had ma'am, just waiting for news from bu Tari aja. mom really is okay if Jasmin lives in Jakarta? "

"mom's okay, you take it easy brother, "

I nodded, although a little worried but I could not back down, this decision I had taken all day, so there was no way I could just cancel

"oh yeah, How are you saying Liam, he hasn't played at home in a long time? "

"Liam has returned to Jakarta ma'am, he said he wanted to lecture there, "

"jeez, I'm not saying goodbye to mother, even though mother has missed the same child, hopefully later in Jakarta you can meet Liam again, brother, do not break the friendship rope, " mother message

"God willing, ma'am... "

after my mother's departure from my room, I was pensive again, recalling my memories with Liam, especially two months ago.

Two days off I didn't come home, so Liam took me on a walk around town after I finished my homework.

that afternoon we were together, enjoying the togetherness of the two in the midst of the crowds passing by.

after walking for almost two hours, Liam invited me to a park not far from home.

"what's up? " ask me to break the silence

Liam was still silent, he was silent with his gaze still staring at me. "hey, what are you? " i waved my hand in front of his face.

"there's something I want to say to you, Jas, "

I stared fixedly at the eyes of the man before me, his shady gaze always made me comfortable.

"what? "

"Jasmin, we'll be graduating high school in two months, and after this I'll be back in Jakarta because my father asked me to come back. I still want to be here, but for some reason, I still want to, I still have to go back to Jakarta.

Jasmin, we've been together for almost three years after being separated for so long, I don't want it to happen again like it used to be, where you and I will be is very difficult to meet because of the distance that separates us.

Jasmin, will you be my lover? fight with me until the time comes when I will justify you? "

Liam looked me in the eyes so deeply, the radiance of sincerity and affection were clearly reflected in his eyes.

my heart wavers, my feelings are confused to see Liam who usually likes to joke but now looks serious, but how, I can't possibly reciprocate his feelings because there is a heart that I'm guarding even if I don't know when.

Liam grabbed both of my hands because I just fell silent

"i already know the answer, sorry to make you think.I just don't want to wait a second time, because I want to make sure if my feelings are avenged." Liam took off his hand and got up from his seat

"ayo's home! " he walked away leaving me still in shock and fixated.

"Liam wait! " i ran over to Liam, although I couldn't return his feelings, but I loved him very much as a friend

I checked his right arm asking him to stop "Liam, sorry, "

"sorry that I can't return your feelings, sorry that I hurt your feelings, "

"it's okay, I'm fine. Let's go home."

On our way to silence each other, I was confused to start talking from where because Liam just fell silent, he did not even glance at me who was sitting in the back seat, he said, we usually talk or sing to accompany our journey.

arriving at home, Liam immediately said goodbye to go home because it was late afternoon.he did not say anything and immediately tancap gas left me who stared softly at his departure.

since then my relationship with Liam finally tenuous, Liam never again reply to the message I sent. Maybe it was me who was outrageous for rejecting it for no reason whatsoever.

I miss Liam, longing for his laughter and silly behavior that always comforts me. Now Liam has gone away leaving me who gives him pain.

I rogoh under my study table, there I keep neatly in the figura, a photo of me with Liam who is playing in the amusement park.

I miss Liam, longing for our togetherness that may never happen again.