Forced Marriage: Thirteenth Wife
98

Roxanne's lips twitched. His head hurt and he knew this could not continue. But Roxanne couldn't help it.

This pain. Feeling lonely and inadmissive at the same time.

No one understands it. No one ever really accepted it. Roxanne hates that. Roxanne hates the fact that she feels herself to be the only unloved human being.

"Maybe not." Roxanne hates it when she has to smile, pretending to be strong and yelling. "Maybe I don't deserve to be loved by anyone."

"That's right."

"But" Roxanne hated the corner of her lips twitching pitifully as she tried hard to be tough, "who forbid me from trying to be loved? Did Eirene ever say that someone can't try?"

The man flinched as if he had not expected Roxanne to say that.

Of course, Roxanne would not know that the brash man, Dioris, suddenly remembered Eirene's words.

"I love someone who loves everyone." Eirene once said that clearly on Dioris' face. "Like Brother Arkas, Brother Eris and also Uncle Leader. Those who look at everyone the same, and strive to give the best to everyone. Too bad Eli can't do that."

"I can't either. I just want to love one person" Dioris replied at the time.

"That's a bad thing, Dioris." Eirene scrunched her face sad. "The world is too vast and so many people. Chanting in love is too selfish. I don't like it."

"But the heart cannot love everyone, Miss."

"Because to love something with the heart is only a small part. Your whole being, not just your heart, can love something." Eirene smiled. "Try to be better, Dioris. I've never liked you being bad to anyone."

Dioris did this just for the sake of running the command—if she admitted it was also because of her personal feelings—but Roxanne's remarks made her feel guilty.

If Eirene heard it now, she would definitely put on a gloomy face. He would blame himself for not teaching Dioris how to be nice.

I speak eighty percent just because Young Master asked me to. Dioris turned away. But the way she spoke as if Miss was really just born to sit casually on the throne was upsetting.

What do I know about him, huh? Rather, what does he know about Miss?

Fucking grumbler.

Roxanne just sat empty as soon as the brash man left, leaving her in a poignant solitude. "What do I expect?" roxanne asked herself.

"When I shout, the world will change?"

Roxanne secretly sensed this.

He wanted to say, "I'm not as lucky as Eirene, so what do you expect from me? He had many good and understanding older brothers, loving him as a younger brother even more. As precious as he was, he never set foot in the outside world and repeatedly had his face painted by a man as handsome as Elios after his death."

"Who am I? It's nobody. My face is worthless in the eyes of no one and is clearly forgotten after my death. Let alone a little caring sister, I don't even have a real family. Instead of worrying about my fate, the woman I thought of as Mother sold me and doctored me to live as merchandise."

"Yes, I consider myself a tool and I always treat myself as a sales item so what? Is anyone gonna stop that? What if Eirene did the same, Elios, Arkas, and who else her brother might be, would just shut up to see him? My fate and he's different so shut up, you fucking know!"

But whatever Roxanne's mind was, she just laughed in solitude. Because if people hear, then the fluency changes?

Obviously not.

Not at all.

*