Love And Despair
Drifting In Regrets

Black sky dyed the funeral that day. The clouds seemed to grieve over the death of the girl.

The expression that says if you want to hide leaves, hide them in the forest and if you want to hide tears, hide them in the rain, it was a very suitable phrase to describe my current state.

I thank this rain for helping me to hide this sorrow among those who gathered to attend the funeral of the person they considered most precious. I could only go silent looking at Anita's grave before my eyes.

The so lost sobs sounded right beside me. Sitting while holding his son's tombstone.

Slowly, people left the cemetery one by one. I just stood unmoved in the rain, standing in front of the wet tomb. Someone's hand suddenly clasped tightly onto my right hand.

I directed my gaze towards the owner of that soft hand. Eri's face looked so sad to see me so depressed without expression. Tears that I thought were impossible for me to see, dripping slowly over the cheeks

that jolly girl. I don't even know what to say. The footsteps of a person who was heard through the splash of water approached slowly with an unbearable feeling of sadness at each step.

“are you a close friend of my son, anita...?” Ask Anita's mother

“close friend...”my word is cut off.

“even we just met yesterday...is it can be called a close friend?!” my inner

“actually, why do I grieve over anita's death? After all he is nothing to me” continued me

“but...what feeling is this so heart-stressing?” ask me

“I know..this is a feeling of regret for my negligence I” thought I.

“I'm not a close friend of mother's child.. I'm just a classmate, no more” replied me.

“then we excuse you first ma'am..” said eri while pulling my hand.

We both walked slowly away from the tomb in the rain. I just follow the footsteps of attractive and adorable people close to my hands. It's not just me who's sad here. I hope he can be happy as always.

Evan's House

There was no significant change after I attended the funeral. Darkness filled my room. There was hardly a glimmer of light that could enter my room because I tightly closed my bedroom windows with curtains. Only regret remained inside me.

“assume I drove him properly back then, an event like this couldn't have happened” I thought

“what should I do when I go to school?!” ask me

My mind is haunted by endless feelings of guilt.

Those haunting words popped into my mind incessantly and seemed to drive me crazy.

“basic garbage..” says my classmates

“killer basics..” says my classmates

“basic child pesky carrier..” says my classmates

“i am disappointed in you Van..” said Eri while leaving my death

But in the midst of these terrible words struck my mind, One sentence full of meaning and soft spoken by Anita. out of nowhere she appeared in front of me. I think maybe now I'm crazy to the point of seeing Anita in front of my eyes.

“Evan..this is not your fault kok” said Anita softly

“a are you really Anita?” ask me nervously

“ya...who else do you think? When you forget my face anyway?” said Anita