Love And Despair
Bitter Memories

“three... two…. One!” countdown Budi

TRINGGG TRINGGG

The sound of omens filling the stomach with a variety of delicious foods available in kantin has been

lather. Not just to replenish the energy drained after the lesson hours,

but also to relieve stress from the morning lesson. Of the overall time spent by students in this school, it may be the most awaited break.

“Van, kekantin yuk” invite Aldi

“don't. I want to sleep aj” answered I'm lazy

“ayolah..I have not been to the cafeteria for a long time, I was very happy I was with snacks there” whining Aldi

“ayolah...ayolah..ayolah...” force Aldi.

“arghh.

“you're coming to kantin?” aldi asked Eri and Anita

“iya we follow” Anita replied

“yahoo!” eri shouted delightedly

The four of us walked together to the cafeteria behind the school. I felt so nervous and scared going through this crowd. Along the way I saw only my footsteps, unable to look into the eyes of those who saw us walking ahead

them.

I haven't been to the kantin in a long time. Instead of happy memories, I even remember my dark times during Junior High when I saw the cafeteria. I've had enough of myself in the past who were so cowardly and helpless.

***

3 Years ago at Junior High X

“woi! We no longer bring money nih~” said Rendy

“we are friends~ can we borrow your money? Later we return kok~” said

“hehehe” condescending laughter of two people who were with Rendy, Rama and Pandi

“I yes...by” answer me fear.

I can't win against all three of them. Their bodies are bigger and bigger

strong compared to me. After all from the beginning I had no hope, The three of them while I was alone. My days are filled with suffering.

Every day should serve the three of them, buy them food bagged using my money, always borrow my money and always bully me.

“if you dare to report with the teacher I will look for you anywhere!”

threaten her while pulling my collar

He pushed me so hard after threatening me that I fell.

The people in my class just looked at me without saying anything. The condescending look they gave me made me think that this school was hell. There's nothing I can

please, there is no one who cares about this sad person like me.

Everyone thinks only of themselves and is afraid to get involved in the problem.The school hours are over, the time I most wait for anything. I rushed to the classroom exit, clasped my bag tightly and walked in fear. I was so scared when I met rendy and his friends on the way home.

Arriving at the school gate I met Eri, he was so anxious to see me who looked like running from something. His face seemed to have so many celebrations. But I'm ashamed to want to tell you my real problem.Because we're different classes, maybe she doesn't know what really happened to me except to ask me directly.

“why moody Van? ever since we entered Junior High you have been moody. If there is a problem you can tell me the same story I” said Eri cared

“enggak...kok” why-napa kok replied me a little rigid.

“but your face...” Keep Eri

“I TOLD YOU, NO PAPA!” yell at me

“...” Eri was surprised by my words

Everyone saw the two of us in the parking lot, I was so sorry to have yelled at him. I ran towards my bike and pedaled my bike so fast and left Eri standing looking at me.