LOVER MONSTER!
123. Monsters.

Jessica crossed her arms around her chest, showing rejection and vigilance towards the existence of Demian who was now sitting across the table. Jessica looked at the man to get an answer to his absurd attitude on the streets just now.

If not for Jessica threatening him and denouncing his attitude, the man would probably still bow his head deeply in the crowd.

God fucking.

Why is he so dramatic?

If Demian behaved like that, Jessica would have a hard time in rejecting her existence. Jessica will have a hard time establishing her position.

Because.., however, seeing Demian with a sad and hurt expression always ended up making Jessica hurt as well. It was as if their hearts were resonating, sharing happiness and suffering with each other.

While Jessica was pensive without a sound, Demian dared himself to raise his head. To face Jessica, the girl he had already hurt his heart.

"Jesse.." began Demian, he said to be concerned. "I'm sorry, just now, I didn't mean to manipulate you into using the crowd to forgive me. It's just that, when I saw you, I forgot everything. My situation, my condition.., I just want to beg you for forgiveness."

"..."

"I.., I've made a big mistake because I don't trust you. I.., I.."

"You don't have to apologize." Jessica flicked the topic with her hands. "It doesn't mean I forgive you, but. If I had a brother like Erthian, I would probably never trust anyone."

"But, Jesse..."

"But, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt for your actions." Jessica said. "I'm so disappointed that you've chosen to trust your brother over me. Maybe because I don't have any evidence, it must be hard to trust me. After all.., our relationship is still new, trusting each other is not easy."

At that time, it felt like Jessica was repeating the words Oscar on the ship.

Jessica had been thinking about this lately, the situation and Demian. Objectively, they are both wrong. They are only stuck misfortune because of external problems that accumulate. Jessica-after brooding over her situation and Demian, slowly discovers something that.., rather than calling it forgiveness, Jessica understands.

Jessica understood Demian and was just like that.

Unfortunately, just because Jessica understood. That sense does not always remove the wound that Jessica had received some time when with the man. A very painful wound. The wounds he received from the heartbreak and betrayal that emerged from the misunderstanding made Jessica feel.

"I know our relationship is new, but I made a mistake with you. Ii'm sorry. Like you said, our relationship is new, and building trust isn't easy. Since it's not easy, I should have tried harder to trust you."

"You've tried everything you can." Jessica smiled stiffly. "I won't demand much from you, Demian. No.., rather, I've been expecting nothing."

Jessica's words again left an ache in her chest. Demian did not feel this conversation was heading for the exit he wanted. He finds no hope in any exchange of their words, finding no chance for himself and Jessica to get back together.

Although the girl looked calm.., does this mean Demian has lost his chance? What as Erthian said, he would never be forgiven?

"Jesse, we.., I..."

What about us? it was a question stuck in Demian's esophagus, which he was unable to pronounce.

"I won't follow you to Sorrento again, if that's what you want to say. Even if you force me, I'll never follow you."

Jessica misinterpreted the hesitation in Demian's speech. However, it's natural. Jessica found no other reason why Demian was looking for her all the way to Bologna other than because of the fact that Jessica had already escaped from Sorrento. Most likely, Demian wanted to bring him back to that hell.

"I'm going back to Vegas." Jessica asserted this time, her pair of emerald implying constancy.

"I'm not taking you back there, Jessica. I..., I'll never let you back there."

"Oh?" That's new.

"I'm sorry." Demian again felt guilty as soon as he found Jessica's pair of emerald, he lowered his head with a miserable heart. Demian does not know how to repair the damage that has happened in their current relationship.

When he discovers the whereabouts of Erthian's Jessica, all Demian thinks about is finding the girl and apologizing. Demian had no idea that her chances of being rejected and abandoned were now in Jessica's hands.

He has no right to ask for peace, not when he has made too many mistakes.

"Just my feeling, or are you a little quiet...?" Jessica chimed Demian in confusion. "Are you sick?"

"Huh?"

Jessica took a breath. "Demian, what do you want?"

"..."

"When you came here.., you must have had more purpose than just asking for forgiveness, right? I mean.., even if you've made a mistake, I don't see you as the man who thinks about your mistakes so much."

Demian-in Jessica's eyes-still harbors the charisma and character typical of badboys that she often reads. Character who is reluctant to apologize, arrogant and lack empathy. Therefore, when Oscar said Demian would come and beg her forgiveness in tears, Jessica did not believe it at all.

Not until this day arrived, when now Demian looked like she could cry at any moment. The dark net is mellow and gray.

"Jesse, do you hate me?" tanya came out of Demian's lips accompanied by her fingertips that grabbed Jessica's index finger on the table. He gave a light touch at the end of the girl's fingers, timidly. Demian was afraid that her touch would be brushed off and rejected by Jessica.

Jessica noticed Demian's index touch, before looking back at the man's lethargic face.

"I don't hate you" Jessica replied. He smiled a little there. "Once again, what happened to your question?" Jessica became uneasy as the situation surrounding her turned serious.

It's not that he hates serious talk, it's just that, lately, the situation and Demian are always full of tension. Jessica was tired of facing the same situation over and over again. Jessica believes Demian feels the same way, judging from her lack of face.

"I don't have a problem with the past" Jessica said. Sincerity is implied in his voice. He looked at Demian and tried to convince the man that what he said was the truth. "I.., I'm tired of debating the same situation."

"..."

"The situation has happened, I understand. I understand your choice. Therefore, I will neither hate you nor blame you."

The situation he faces now will only be regarded as a misfortune, failure, a bitter experience that he will remember and make a lesson in the future.

"Jessica, what's going to happen to us?" Demian finally ventured into discussing the topic that had already clogged his mind. "I.., I still love you so much. I don't want to lose you, I can't let you go. I understand I've made mistakes, I'm cruel to you, and I'm selfish..."

Demian took a breath for a moment, her eyes slightly teary as soon as she stared at the shade in Jessica's expression. The girl had found her peace, and what Demian feared the most was that she was not involved in it. Jessica probably gave it up.

It was the right move, to be honest. Who wants to be with a man who has hurt you too much? Demian understood that if Jessica wanted to leave him, it was just that Demian could not live without Jessica.

Say he is exaggerated and dramatic, but Jessica is the one who has accepted him, putting aside his contemptuous background, Jessica considers him innocent. Jessica has always found a way to understand it, even now.

"Demian," Jessica muttered lowly and quietly. "What do you want to do now?"

"Yes?"

"You said you left everything behind, why?"

"I, I don't want that life. As I said there, I chose that position because I wanted to protect you, but, if you weren't there. That choice will only end in vain."

Jessica took a heavy breath there. "Will your family be okay? You know..., everyone wants you to fill that position, right? Even Hestia."

"It may seem like that, but.., haha.., there are many who oppose my leadership. I'm not fit for such a job, actually

Not when I don't care about my family at all. I can take them all down to hell, and I won't feel sorry."

Demian's laughter was stiff. Rather than sounding witty, his speech was more like a scorn on himself.

"Erthian will be the leader at Bellamy now, I think. He managed to pull out 90 percent of our family to side with him."

"Are you going to be okay?" ask Jessica. The softness of his voice provoked a faint smile on Demian's face. A smile that holds calm and relief.

"I'll be fine" Demian replied. "I guess...,"

If Demian is with Jessica, Demian is confident he will be fine. However, the answer is uncertain. Jessica still did not give an answer to her question, her hope. Jessica still has invisible walls that limit them.

"Demians..."

"Hmm?"

A faint smile bloomed on Jessica's face before she continued to speak in a witty tone. "Does that mean you're unemployed now?"

The calm and slightly gloomy atmosphere that surrounded them shifted slightly toward cheerfulness as soon as Jessica changed her intonation. He-without obvious effort-had managed to shake off the fog surrounding their conversion, subsiding in the air.

"You can say it like that." Demian's answer was accompanied by a slight rarity. He chuckled with a sour expression. How can Jessica make him laugh when he's in a state of anxiety?

Demian was now standing at the end of a steep ravine. One rejection from Jessica, he will collapse and fall from the ravine. He should be frightened, anxious, and immersed in despair. He shouldn't smile there.

"Demian," said Jessica. "I don't know what to give you now. After everything that happened, I'm not sure I want this relationship to go back. I mean.., I don't want to hurt you, I don't want you to hurt me. The situation is absurd. I'm not sure I would fall in love if I had to go through a lot of suffering in the process."

"..."

"But I don't want to lose you either. So, I guess, maybe I'm a bit selfish right now."

"I don't want to lose you at all, Jesse, either." Demian mean.

"Then will you...., mmmm, wait for me?"

"Yes?"

"I'm still looking for answers about what I should do for us, after all. It's a selfish act so you have the right to make a choice, you don't have to wait for me without certainty..."

"I'll wait," Demian replied speedily. He did not even wait for Jessica to finish her words. "I'd rather wait than lose you."

Instead of rejection, Demian is better off depending on expectations that, though small, are expectations. Demian did not want to waste this opportunity. He wants to win his Jessica back. Although it meant that he had to start from the beginning, no, this situation was better. Demian prefers to repeat everything from the beginning, that way, he can treat his Jessica properly and perfectly.

He would not climb over the balcony of the girl's room and scare her. Not going through the boundaries that end up making Jessica uncomfortable. He won't hide in giving Jessica affection. He will be the man who greets Jessica with confidence, and proves his love for the world, for everyone.

"I'll wait for you, because of that, you can take as much time as you want. I'll be by your side all the time."

"Does that mean you're going back to Vegas?"

Demian was too ambitious. "Of course."

Jessica felt the weight piling up on her chest lift as soon as Demian approached and gave her a tight hug. It felt like, right then and there, Jessica found the perfect place for her to be. Like a puzzle that found its place, it felt complete in the deck of Demian. Jessica took a deep breath, inhaling the man's existence like oxygen had been lost.

Retaliating for Jessica's close embrace as well, Demian closed her eyes and drowned her face in the girl's black mane which gave off her favorite scent.

"Thank you for giving me a chance, Jessica." Demian muttered full of relief.

"Thank you for loving a monster like me."

Jessica nodded with a smile.

"How else, you're my favorite monster."

...*...