LOVER MONSTER!
39. Logging Sense.

When facing Demian, Jessica was relieved she had high self-control.

Although Jessica was shocked at the arrival and interruptions the man had made, Jessica did not immediately curse Demian on the spot. Nor did he scatter Demian with a barrage of questions that implied annoyance.

That night, the first thing Jessica decides when Demian comes and treats her arbitrarily, is to ask Jake for understanding to end their meeting.

"I'll call at a later time" Jessica said, before pulling the leather jacket Demian was wearing and taking the man out of the bar.

Afterwards, he and Demian walked on the sidewalk. Jessica walked a few meters in front of Demian, her annoyance seething slowly as she was alone with the man.

Demian, on the other hand, realizes that she has already triggered a resentment in Jessica, so she keeps her distance until Jessica is ready to talk.

Demian, to be honest, didn't feel guilty for interrupting Jessica and Jake's night. Especially when he saw how Jake looked at his Jessica, Demian wanted to throw Jake in the face with a stool.

They continued walking until Jessica found a busy intersection with vehicles parked on the lip of the road. Cafe and hotel lined side by side irregular.

Away from where Jessica stood, a not-so-high replica of the eifell tower stood beautifully. Jessica stopped her steps and stopped at a coffee shop that provided some benches on the sidewalk of the road.

Demian sat in front of Jessica, still silent. His pair of dark irises shot towards Jessica, noticing how the girl was now looking. Is he still angry or not?

Answer, still.

"When do you want to be angry?" ask Demian at last. She doesn't want Jessica to shut up.

"Do I look angry?" ask Jessica cynically.

"Are you upset that I interrupted your date with Jake? Are you so happy to walk with Jake all day?"

"Maybe."

"Jessica, you don't like Jake, do you? Didn't I say he's a bastard."

Jessica took a deep breath. "And?"

"And moreover? I don't agree."

If Demian was her brother, her relative, Jessica would probably listen to Demian's words with a nod of her head and a smile of sincere trust. However, Demian was nobody. For God's sake, Demian wasn't in any position to criticize him.

"Demian, do you like me?" jessica asked Demian to lower her coffee cup.

"Eh, what?" Demian asked back.

"Do you, Demian, like me? Do you have any special feelings for me?"

Jessica asked that in order to confirm the situation and her curiosity that had soared.

Why would Demian act like Jessica was his right? Why did she shake Jessica with all her complaints when in reality, she had Angela in her arms?!

Demian looked into Jessica's emerald eyes while biting her lips. He immediately understood what Jessica's question meant there. "That's fair enough" Demian said. "Do I have to like you first so I can give you input?"

"There's a difference between input and distraction, Demian. You've been bothering me today. You invaded my personal time. Is invading my residence not enough, you also want to know where I am, and what I'm doing?"

Yes, I want to know everything!- The answer came out of Demian's mind sooner than Demian had thought of an answer. Demian was shocked at his own thoughts. What did he just think? Was he hallucinating or did his brain indeed voice that possessive answer?

"I'm worried about you because you didn't answer my message at all." Demian changed his answer to be more rational.

Demian knows he made a mistake. What Jessica said was the truth. However, Demian did not care about any of it. He decided to make that mistake consciously.

"Regarding the message as well.., a moment." Jessica had too many uneg-unegs that she wanted to spit out in front of Demian, she managed to catch her breath regularly so that she would not get out of control and spit out her words in a mess.

"I had a lot of thoughts until my head was about to break," a complaint then came out of Jessica's lips. He looked at Demian this time and hoped that whatever he said would be the way for Demian to understand.

"Demian," started Jessica. This time it was quieter. "I'll ask you back, do you..., honestly, like me?"

"..."

"I'm questioning this so that I can find rationality in your relationship and I'm a bit exaggerated, I guess? Yep. This relationship can be said to be quite excessive. So, do you like me?"

Demian combed his ikal mane backwards. Before he gave an answer, he clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Why is it important?" sahut Demian's. "Like it or not, it doesn't lower my concern for you, me-"

"Enough," cut Jessica. "Do you like Angela?"

"I don't feel I need to answer that."

The answer to that question was quite personal for Demian. Jessica knows that. Jessica just wanted to give Demian the same bitter taste when she at will invaded Jessica's personal problems.

"I'm going to assume you still like it" Jessica said. "After all, no answer is needed, whoever has eyes can surely draw conclusions from your closeness."

Jessica felt a slight pinch on her chest. Strange, as if he was hurt. Is he hurt?

"Demian," murmured Jessica. This time Jessica's intonation subsided gently and kindly, a voice she often gave to Demian when they were together. When he showed genuine concern of his expression and voice.

"I don't want to misunderstand."

Huh uh?

"You know.., the last time we met, what I did, what we did.., that's enough." Jessica scratched her cheek while blushing. "I, just so you know, can't forget my actions. I don't understand at all why I'm doing that."

Demian already thought that the events of that night would be one of the reasons Jessica avoided him. However, Demian had absolutely not expected the meaning to be any different.

Demian thought Jessica was avoiding him because the girl was immersed in an overwhelming sense of shame, and did not know how to deal with him. However, something bigger is struggling in Jessica's mind.

"Demian, I.., I don't want to like you."

"???"

"I'm not a woman who can get caught up in a casual relationship. I.., I am quite a serious woman and my feelings will somehow overwhelm me in any situation. I..., I'm not approaching any man so far is for that reason."

Jessica was honest there. He-for the first time revealed the reason why he had never been intimate with any man before Demian.

"I don't want to put any special feelings on you because it will end up weighing on me. Because, I know exactly how much you like Angela. I would also never compete with other women if it was about romance. So.., yeah."

"I understand what you mean." Demian himself understood what it was like to feel for someone who was in love with someone else. Demian knew how unpleasant that feeling was.

It's just...

"My and Jake's closeness was just a friendship. He didn't approach me excessively. What's going on between me and Jake is quite different from what we've done."

It has to be, Demian thought. If Jake touches Jessica, Demian's gonna bet he's gonna knock that motherfucker's teeth out!

"So, avoiding me is the answer to all your complaints?"

Jessica nodded. "I feel like we shouldn't see each other again."

"Huh?"

"I mean, you can go to the cafe, but to my room...,"

"Did I show up to your room also make you misunderstand?"

"Yes" said Jessica. "There's no normalcy in our relationship, Demian. I've tolerated you the distance. I don't want to lose control of my own feelings."

It was hard to describe what Demian was feeling right now. Rather than disappointment, he felt a sense of loss. It was as if a samurai came and stabbed him in the back.

Why would Jessica have to think things through so deeply?

"Jessica," call Demian again.

"Yes?"

"If I said I love you on your first question, would you say other things that would ultimately deny my existence as well?"

"Huh?"

Demian pulled Jessica's coffee glass on the table and sipped the contents in half. "Why, I guess, whatever my answer is. You will eventually reject me."

"...."

Their gazes met, reading each other the meanings veiled within the clear surface.

"I feel..," Demian murmured again, dragging his voice down. "It looks like you already like me and are afraid of that reality. So you're making excuses to justify your fear. Am I wrong?"

In other words, Jessica was just trying to avoid it again with all sorts of words that sounded reasonable in the ear.

Demian did not know Jessica for a long time, but she was quite good at reading the behavior of Jessica who always ran away from her.

"..." - ".Demian's short speech, in one conclusion, ended up making the contents of Jessica's head empty instantly.

"W-what are you saying?" Lost is the calm Jessica is trying to control. He widened his eyes, a soft laugh coming out of his lips.

"W-how can you think like that? I'm.., uh...,"

No, for whatever sake, Jessica would never acknowledge Demian's remarks as truth. He would never let himself fall in love. Especially if it's Demian.

"You.., you're just talking nonsense." Demian's words are not the truth. He made the analysis as he pleased. "When I've tried to speak well with you here!"

"Jessica," interrupted Demian. He held Jessica's wrist. Holding the girl from running away from him.

"May I just turn your question around?"

Jessica knew which question Demian was referring to. So, in response, Jessica brushed Demian's hand off her wrist.

"I'm sleepy" Jessica said. "I'm tired of talking to you."

Demian smelled his smile. There, he got his answer.

"Does that mean all the talk just now wouldn't mean anything?" Demian followed Jessica to her feet. He stepped on Jessica's shadow and drowned his hand in her pants pocket.

"I'm sorry I wasted my time talking to you" Jessica paid for her coffee and sauntered down the sidewalk. He waited for the taxi without any intention of looking at Demian at all.

"Jessica, even if you're telling me all kinds of reasons to avoid me, I want you to know one thing..." Demian embraced Jessica's shoulders as she pleased.

Jessica would not look at him with annoyance. His eyes implied 'What the fuck?'.

"Jessica" whispered Demian calmly. "Do you think I'll listen to you?"

"Huh?"

"You know, all that you've been talking about..., do you think I'll listen to you?"

Jessica pulled herself out of Demian's embrace. "Why not?"

Demian's grin expands comfortably. "I don't think you've recognized me so far if you think words are enough to drive me out of your life."

Jessica-at that moment anyway, gulped. His body was carefree hot under Demian's sharp gaze. It was as if he was under threat.

"W-are you proud of that selfishness?" Jessica recalls Demian's brutality she accidentally discovered. The man may be sweet to her, but that doesn't shut down the reality that he's a dangerous monster.

Demian nodded. "So don't run away from me again...,"

"You're disgusting!"

"Thank you." said Demian, the war changed drastically like the devil. Jessica tried her hardest to display the disgust there, despite her feet shaking in intimidation and cringe.

"I'll kill you if Angela says it to me again, watch out!" Jessica spewed out nonsense to ease the pounding of her crazy heart.

"Huh?"

Wait, Demian might not know about it.

"Forget it."

Demian looked at Jessica, wondering.

The problem was, Demian would not forget something that bothered his mind. What did Jessica say just now? Did Angela say anything bad to Jessica?

*