LOVER MONSTER!
81. Before Event.

The tears that pooled at the end of his fingers made Jake who was clenching Jessica's lips release his pagutan with shock. As his consciousness suddenly comes and hits his head tight, Jake is aghast as he realizes Jessica is not enjoying the kiss at all.

Instead, the girl was crying.

"Sorry, sorry..." Jessica, who is conscious of herself crying, spontaneously turns her back on Jake. He covered his face while wiping away the tears that were incessantly melting on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry" Jessica said. He felt guilty for ruining the atmosphere with his cries. Jake might be disappointed. No, Jake would probably think of him as a drama-filled figure.

Damn it, how could she cry when she was kissed by her own lover?

Jessica doesn't understand herself at all. Because, for whatever sake, this is so stupid!

"You don't have to apologize, Jess." Jake approaches Jessica's back and gives a gentle swab over there. "It's my fault for forcing you."

"Yeah, no. I did make a mistake. My mood has been a bit bad lately and.hahaha, you've been looking at me like this. Weird, huh?"

"What did you say?" Jake's forehead shrinks automatically. "It's not strange at all. You're not weird at all, Jesse."

Jake pulled Jessica's shoulder to face him. As his eyes met Jessica's wet eyes as well, Jake gave the girl a soothing, gentle smile.

"It's all my fault" Jake murmured. "I'm sorry for forcing this relationship. I said I'd help you open your heart again, but I'm acting as I please."

"..."

"I'm no longer understanding. I'm sorry, Jessica."

"I'm sorry too. I'll try better going forward." Jessica said with a slightly more relieved breath. He looked at Jake and remembered Demian.

If only Demian was as good as Jake.

If only he could love her too.

"I've ruined your morning, I guess..." Jake scratched his nape, misbehaving. He remembers the page he exchanged with Jessica and feels quite sinful when he wants to repeat it.

He looked at Jessica's lips once more and the desire to hit her head against the wall became even stronger.

"You didn't ruin anything. I'm glad you've come." Jessica spoke as she sat herself on the balcony bench. Jake sat down in front of Jessica, sipping on the tea Jessica made while holding a smile.

Jake knows this isn't the first time he's been in a relationship with a woman, but being with Jessica puts him in a dilemma. Everything he knew became meaningless. The girl, her innocence and the ambiguity of her gaze made Jake not know what to do.

It felt really hard to react and respond to Jessica's uniqueness, harder than when she was with Angela.

When I was with Angela, everything felt so easy, so comfortable and reassuring. He did not need to think about whether his actions would break any lines, there was no need to worry about Angela's reaction because just as it seemed, Angela also wanted it.

Jake does not have to bother to tear down Angela's defenses, because Angela has to tear down her defenses with joy. The girl gives up her heart and Jake accepts Angela's heart with open arms.

Jake's happy.

But, Angela...,

Had he not been present with his myriad great egos, their relationship might have been normal as usual. Jake can fall in love without limiting himself, being able to say anything without unsettling anything.

If only Angela didn't hate her background, all her wealth, Jake might...

"Jake...?"

"Uh, huh?"

"What doesn't taste good?" Jessica rarely makes tea so she does not know the right taste for her guests who enjoy this tea.

"It's delicious, Angela."

"Angela?"

Jake's eyes were all twisted. "Jessica, I mean Jessica. I'm sorry."

"Well, ahaha.it doesn't matter. Just relax." Jessica smiled wryly there.

It seems, not only is he struggling to build this new relationship harmony, Jake too...

'She may not be able to let go of Angela completely.' Jessica is compassionate.

*

After Jake leaves, Jessica steps back to her bed. He fumbles back on Jake's kiss trail there and feels the void fill his chest.

If he accepts the existence of a Jake Allendale in his life, doesn't that mean the same as him who shut everything about Demian out of his life?

Obviously, logically, Jessica realized that forgetting Demian was the best option right now. However, even though her head was filled with activist voices demanding truth, virtue and pressuring her to abandon the bad things related to Demian, Jessica's heart said another.

Jessica's heart couldn't just let Demian go.

It felt, receiving a kiss from another man was like removing a trace of Demian in his life. Letting Jake wander around in his room, using his mug, all that for Jessica was Demian's privilege.

Jessica did not want to lose everything related to Demian, but she knew very well that the desire of her heart was a mistake.

He should not cry over the man who had already infused a huge wound in his chest.

Jessica was tired of the non-stop debate going on in her head. Jessica needs to rest and forget everything for a moment.

Jessica wanted to forget all the pain that stabbed her heart, she wanted to stop hating herself and drown in guilt.

Jessica was tired, so. as a cure from all the depression piling up in her mind at this moment, she opened her nightstand drawer and took a bottle of beer from there.

The cure for all his troubles is at hand. He didn't have to think about anything and cry over anyone.

Had enough.

*

After a meeting with Jake, Jessica does not go down to the cafe for various reasons.

He still receives food from his friends, of course. Some anxious remarks too. However, their anxiety did not last long because Jessica said she was busy with work and did not want to be disturbed, so everyone decided to withdraw.

At least until his birthday. Jessica could only lock herself up until that day because this afternoon, a party would have to be attended.

On the same day...

Dania runs up to Jessica's room. Some shopping bags with famous brands engraved on the outside are in the hands of Dania. That grocery bag was also the reason why Dania was so enthusiastic.

"Jesse" he shouted, this time knocking on the door. "Jesse?"

The sound of footsteps rang out from within and Dania grew more and more enthusiastic. He could not wait to show Jessica the bag. He can't wait to make his best friend as beautiful as possible until all the guests tonight will be amazed.

"Jesse????" Dania was amazing and...

"Why are you being so noisy?" Jessica appeared in front of him with a pungent smell of alcohol. Jessica's expression was relaxed, but Dania could not relax at all. He entered Jessica's room and stared at the room with a spontaneous neck.

The scene was very familiar with the situation in the past few years and it was scary.

The room with the curtains not open, the lights on in broad daylight, the bottles of alcohol on the table, the dirty clothes everywhere, the dirty dishes, all lying near the sofa. Close to where Jessica was pitching and sitting casually now.

"I was busy working" Jessica said, showing her laptop featuring an excel table to Dania.

"Say what you want to say."

"Jesse, what's going on here?" Dania looked at Jessica like her friend had gone mad.

"What's going on here?"

"You..., are you aware of the black ring in your eyes? Are you sleeping?"

"I do a lot of work, I'll sleep when I'm done." Jessica responded as if Dania's anxiety meant nothing at all.

"Jesse, it's your birthday."

"I know, seven o'clock, right? I won't be late."

"You.." Dania was at a loss for words. Is this Jessica her friend?

"Jessica, you're gonna have a birthday tonight. You should have prepared yourself well. You're supposed to.., not like this."

"I'm ready, you know. Whatchu mean?" Jessica chuckles.

"Does a mess mean ready?" Dania finally came back nagging. She pushed open Jessica's window curtain, opening the balcony door wide to let fresh air in.

"You'll be 29 today. You should be able to take better care of yourself than this. You're not a vampire, stop locking yourself in the bathroom and shower!"

"Tsk..., I told you I was at work, right?" Jessica leaned her head against the sofa, watching as Dania was now busying herself and picking up all the dirty clothes, and her old dinner plate into the kitchen.

"Just leave it all there, I'll get it all fixed later."

"You're not okay at all, how can you clean up your room?"

"What the fuck?" Jessica scowls.

"Jessica, anyway, for whatever sake, take a shower now! Clean yourself up, wake up! Don't ruin Elixir's good name by appearing messy like this. I've brought you a shirt, I'll make your makeup after you shower!"

"Uuughhhh, bring it..."

"Jessica?!"

"alright, mam. I'll do it." Jessica stood up from the sofa while giving a brief salute to Dania. Right then, when he was about to waltz into the bathroom. He was struck by his own steps and landed on the floor.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Jessica rose from the fall, shaking her hands everywhere, calming no one.

Dania who was monitoring him was just a head bobble.

Jessica, oh, Jessica.

The girl was so stoned to be able to stand on her own two feet, how could she deal with her party normally later?

...****************...