LOVER MONSTER!
124. Before Deciding.

Winter in early January.

A few months after Jessica and Demian's return to Vegas, time finally turned around and led them to this season. To seasons that bring snow and freezing temperatures.

The fall that had been left quite far behind, still felt fresh in Jessica's memory every time she opened her eyes in the morning. Every time he woke up, he would throw his gaze out the window, looking at the view of the Vegas overcast sky that created a feeling of relief in his chest. Jessica looked out and felt relieved. He is not in Italy, he is now in Vegas.

Despite the gloomy weather, he was already in a safe place. A place he could call home. A shell for his weak body.

Every time Jessica stared out the window as well, a hint of nostalgic feeling crept in her mind. Reminds him of the view of the foliage and the trees. He remembered the tyrannical sea and all the beauty that hid behind his sapphire blue.

Jessica remembers Demian and how their relationship is going now.

"I'll be waiting for you, Jessica." Demian said to her, implying a stern solemnity. However, to believe the man's remark again, Jessica felt a little skeptical. Jessica was only relieved that Demian was willing to indulge in her selfishness that was unable to choose the man, but was unable to reject him as well.

Jessica has spent her entire autumn with inner warfare and agitation. Now, as winter had come, the inner warfare was extended.

"Jesse, are you ready?"

From outside the room, Jessica heard Elliot's voice banging slowly on the door. Wiped it.

"I'll be out in a minute" Jessica said. He stuck himself in the mirror once more before pulling the small red suitcase he had placed at the foot of the bed.

Today, just to refresh and enjoy the beginning of the year, Jessica and her friends plan to stay in a cabin in the Charleston mountain area. They will relax for two or three days there before starting the activity as it was in Elixir.

The idea of staying in this cabin actually came from Oscar Brown. The kind-hearted man who had saved Jessica from Rhoden manor suddenly came to Elixir the other day, just before Christmas, and offered them a vacation together in his private cabin in the mountains of Charleston.

The attractive offer, when it reached Dania's ears, was immediately approved. Jessica's blonde best friend was so enthusiastic when she heard Oscar's offer and.

Jessica stepped out of Elixir while dragging her suitcase.

In front of Elixir, a black van awaits them. However, instead of paying attention to the van, Jessica paid attention to a man who greeted her at the door. The man who so far still compensates for his selfishness and still respects the boundaries that Jessica has made.

That man was Demian Bellamy.

Returning to Vegas, Demian began a new chapter of his life working seriously with Oscar. Demian became the feet and hands of the gambling-loving slacker in dealing with matters related to business and professional work. He-alongside Adam-be a partner.

"Good morning, Princess." Demian greeted Jessica with a faint smile. His greeting greeted Jessica with a smile as well, a smile that held a slight sense of guilt.

Jessica felt sin had hung Demian in this uncertain relationship. Jessica felt sinful had dragged her decision too long. However, even though Jessica feels sinful, Jessica knows and understands that she is not really in the wrong position. Jessica just.

"Is this all you're carrying?" Demian took over Jessica's suitcase from the girl's hand which was paled and cold like ice cubes.

"We only stayed three days" said Jessica. Speaking of staying overnight, Demian and Oscar are also confirmed to be coming. Putting aside the intense Demian it was obvious just to follow Jessica, Oscar wanted to come along because he felt lonely being alone.

Is accepting Demian the right choice to make?

Jessica returned to thinking about the same topic as soon as she and Demian sat side by side in the van that was slowly speeding on the road. Demian was by Jessica's side at the time, eyes glued to the mechanical book she found on the floor of the car. While Demian was stuck in her reading, Jessica was again overwhelmed with anxiety.

Jessica knows that sooner or later, she needs to make decisions and clarity in her relationship and Demian. He cannot treat the man like a friend, not when they both have feelings that are more than friends. Not when behind their hospitality, the passion to cling to one another, the desire to rinse and curl in the heat so dominates their minds.

Jessica could not delay this topic any longer, not when she looked at Demian did she feel an overwhelming longing. He longed to hold the man to his chest, to pamper him, to hear his childish babble, to feel his jealousy and to hear the roar of his breath as they slept side by side in the same bed.

"What are you thinking very seriously?" Demian finally closed the mechanical book and put it under the car bench. A pair of dark beads of Demian shone towards Jessica, confusedly clashing with gentleness.

"Are you hungry? I brought a snack for you."

"Oh, oh, oh. Romeo, did you bring a snack just for Jesse? What about us?" Dania who listens from the back-chimes with impunity.

"How, huh?" Demian turned to the bench of Dania, her voice witty. "How about you find a boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend, butt. You're still in the friendzone, aren't you?" Dania held him back. "How many months has it been since you returned from Italy? Two, three?"

"Four." Elliot answered.

"Yes, four. For four months, your relationship with Jessica was static. Ohohoho´s. You think you still have hope for change?"

"Dania," Jessica spoke, finally. "Shut up."

Understand that Dania's words are meant to hurt her, insult her, but Demian shows no meaningful reaction. Rather than care for Dania, Demian's gaze was highlighted calmly towards Jessica who was again languishing in her own mind. Demian doesn't know what Jessica's thinking, but lately she's always easily stuck alone.

Demian is worried about jessica.

"It's..." Demian opens a packet of candy to Jessica, a candy with a grape-flavored variant inside. Demian handed the candy over while looking at Jessica's face. The beautiful face engraved a faint smile before fading back.

"Thank you" said Jessica.

...*...

They arrived at the Brown family cabin after an hour of honest, not-so-long travel. Time seemed to go by so fast when Demian went on an adventure with Jessica's friends. Relatives of the girl who already resembles her family, very noisy and fond of telling stories. Demian who heard the babbling and gossip of the three of them, so did not realize that they had reached the destination.

Not until the car stopped and Adam turned to face them, saying that the journey was over.

"Adam, are you going to stay the night?" Demian asked after she was done helping to take the suitcases out of the trunk. The Brown family waitress who was present at the scene brought some of the suitcases in, while some of them were carried by Ethan and Elliot.

"I'd love to, but I have business in Carson. I'll come when I have free time." Adam chimed in while closing the trunk of the car. "Have a good time and make sure Oscar stays sane until I get back."

"Don't worry about it."

"M."

After exchanging words with Demian, Adam enters his car again and leaves Demian Bellamy alone in front of the elegant Oscar cabin.

As Demian breezed through the wooden door, Demian found the rest of the Christmas ornaments still attached to the door. Once inside, Demian immediately looked for Jessica's back and found the girl was staring at the Christmas tree which was still beautifully decorated by flickering lights.

"Are you celebrating Christmas here, Oscar?" Jessica spoke to Oscar who had just greeted them in the living room.

"It's not me, it's the workers who work here."

"Well..." Really kind-hearted.

Oscar felt deja vu. He recalled the time he found Demian and Jessica chatting in a cafe in Bologna. How quickly Demian found Jessica, Oscar was a bit amazed at that time.

"I don't think you're coming" Oscar said, greeting Demian.

"I can't possibly leave Jessica alone" Demian was honest there. However, her reply left Jessica engulfed in an overwhelming heat. He blushed from the neck to the ears. Demian's blatant remarks protecting her, caring and loving, left Jessica unnerved. His heart bursting against his ribs, ready to jump out of his chest cavity.

Jessica did not know how to respond to Demian who was always blatant, so Jessica ended up leaving the two without saying anything.

Jessica just decided to run away from there.

Gazing at Jessica's departure, Demian let out a weak sigh.

"Are you not well?" Oscar spoke while picking up a Christmas tree that fell on the carpet.

"I don't think he can forgive me yet." Demian wailing sayu.

Despite having been patient in recent months, Demian did not immediately feel his existence had reached a safe position. Jessica, her Jessica is still building invisible high walls between them. They could have exchanged words, Demian could have teased Jessica and looked for a way to the girl's heart, but.

After Jessica arrived in Vegas, she became a calmer figure. He had a shyness in Demian's existence, as if they were two people who had just known each other.

Demian lets Jessica treat him as a friend, and despite her many temptations and trials in her patience, Demian never loses. Demian will not give up. She will wait until Jessica is ready to open her heart to return.

"You know I support you, right? So.., use this time well."

...*...

Staying in the Oscar cabin is a fun and very memorable experience. They share togetherness and deepen intimacy through activities they go through together. Just like when cooking, Oscar, who has no friends and is difficult to make friends, mingles like a normal man when Elliot rules this and that. They created a lunch with pride until Oscar's smile widened perfectly.

Dania and Demian who play cards at the dining table also begin to show familiarity, although occasionally, Dania often intimidates Demian with her stabbing comments.

Everything's going safely, actually.

Everything except for Jessica's runny head.

As the person who did nothing to help prepare lunch today, Jessica and Ethan are finally assigned to clean the dirty dishes. Initially, Oscar and Demian said it was not necessary. However, Jessica kept doing her job because she did not want to trouble the waitress Oscar.

"If the contents of your head are full and messy, the best thing to do is to get busy." Ethan-partner washes Jessica-commented dishes next to her.

"Is your head in a mess?" ask Jessica.

"If I don't" replied Ethan. "But I don't know about you. You're mostly pensive.., I worry about you."

As Jessica would expect from her ever-sensitive best friend. Without needing to talk, Ethan already knows that Jessica is indeed in an imperfect mood.

"Are you and Demian in trouble?"

"Hmm?"

"You paid a lot of attention to him today. I thought he might do something that provoked your emotions again. You know, whatever it is."

Ever since Jessica returned from Italy, Jessica's friends learned that Demian and Jessica's relationship had stretched to the brink of breaking up. They know there is a problem going on, but they have no context to the content of the problem. They could only guess that Demian was definitely the culprit.

"Oh, Ethan..., you're really a very considerate friend of mine, aren't you?" Jessica chuckled faintly. "I'm so grateful that you've worried about me."

"..."

A moment's pause between them. Jessica still refuses to voice her uneg-uneg. Instead of talking, he went back to washing the dirty dishes in front of him. Thinking Jessica won't open her voice, Ethan resignedly.

Ethan was almost done on the task of rinsing it when on the sidelines of the noisy water that fell from the tap, Jessica's voice again greeted her ears. Stopped activity.

"Ethan" said Jessica, his doubts were obvious.

"Hmm?"

"You know my relationship with Demian now, don't you? I mean.., we don't have any clarity. I.., I said I needed time to get back to how things were, but. I'm not sure the situation will go back to how it was after what happened."

Ethan doesn't know what happened but, "Did you feel for him change?"

"Yes?"

"Ah, I'm just a little curious. Do you still love her, like that?"

"I-I guess."

Jessica's feelings never changed. If things change, then it is him who becomes a coward and reluctant to re-start his relationship with Demian. Jessica was afraid that she would end up injured, she did not want to carry the pain that had been.

"So the problem isn't in your feelings?"

"I don't know..." Jessica turned off the water tap. "I.., I'm afraid to make a decision that I'll regret. I'm afraid, I'll end up hating my decision."

"You have no control over what can happen in the future, Jesse. If the future scares you into doing anything, you're like locking yourself up in invisible bars." Ethan smiled sincerely there.

"I don't mean to hunt you down or anything, I don't know what you've been through.., but, I think it's the right thing to think about how you feel now, rather than how you feel in the future."

"..."

"The probability of you getting hurt and the probability of you being happy is something unexpected. You can be hurt and happy, but if you shut yourself up in fear, you won't be able to reach that future."

"I.., I know that." Jessica knew that her fear of the future was foolish. Jessica knew, but she still had trouble getting rid of her fears. He doesn't want to get hurt.

"While you're pensive in this kind of fear, the earth keeps turning, Jesse. Everything that is by your side today will pass. Demian too...., he might declare to be waiting for you, but for how long? Wouldn't that be as torturing as if you dragged this topic out for too long?"

"Are you taking Demian's side?"

Ethan laughs. "I'm not on his side. I just want you to be happy. If rejecting her is a choice that makes you relieved, I support you, Jessica."

...*...