LOVER MONSTER!
44. Ambiguous.
Oscar Brown's words lingered in Jessica's mind like moss slowly eating away at the brick wall, turning it green and dirty. Just like that moss, Oscar's speech had already taken control of Jessica's mind, dirtying her.
Jessica doesn't know why she's so fixated on Oscar's love story that Oscar isn't her. Not a person who has influence in his life.
Oscar's love story shouldn't have influenced Jessica who was obviously single, but, strangely enough, it resonated. As if he was reflecting.
Jessica-either how, without being able to control her own thoughts, so imagines herself in the position of Oscar. A man who falls in love willingly gives his all, but ends up a nelangsa.
Jessica.., considering Demian in that scenario anyway. Demian is only in love with Angela, but often teases her.
How scared Jessica was that the situation would happen to herself.
What if at any time he fell in love with Demian and ended up just as an outlet, a distraction?
God fucking. This is all very foreign to Jessica.
The fact that he now also thought that he would be heartbroken by Demian was even stranger. Why Demian? Why would his chances of falling in love only happen to Demian? Jake Allendale is in front of him now. Oscar used to say hello, Ethan...
There were plenty of opportunities for Jessica to fall in love, but why was it that every time she made a scheme in her head concerning the person she was going to love, Demian's face naturally appeared?
'I spent too much time with Demian.' Jessica thought, she tried to rationalize her insanity.
"I'm kind of curious," Jake Allendale - after a long time just sitting tight-lipped next to Jessica, eyes staring at the street crowd down there, finally opening his voice. "How's your son doing now?" Jake means Elixir. Jake remembers that Jessica told him that Elixir was his son.
"Why are you suddenly curious?"
Jake's pulling a shoulder. Her brown mane sticking out in a mess swung in the wind . "Because you were dumb a few times, I thought you were in a bad mood. Between your business is not running smoothly, or...., there is another problem...?"
"Elixir is fine" Jessica murmured. "I just..., I guess, I was just thinking about a problem that wasn't my problem, but felt like my problem?" Jessica felt Jake would not understand what he meant.
"So you're thinking about other people's problems, you're very understanding."
Jessica let out a low breath. "The problem is, I feel quite connected to the topic of the problem. Very connected to the stage it hit in my heart. It's just that, unlike the person's problem that has reached its climax, my problem is only in the early stages."
"..."
"I'm afraid I'm going to reach the same point and end up desperate."
Jake is calm.
"I know it's stupid to worry about something that hasn't happened yet, but I can't prevent my heart from stopping being paranoid."
"I want to say something to support you, but I'm not the one who deserves to say that shit."
Jake himself is a man who is not wise in solving his problems, he is a coward and a loser. How is it possible, the guy like her, to give Jessica support?
"Eeei, seeing you in better shape is enough for me." Jessica chuckles.
Just then, as Jessica and Jake were sitting side by side on the second floor of a cafe, sitting facing a glass window that presented a view of the highway, Jessica felt a slight lift as she spoke.
Maybe this is the relief Jake feels. When his heart spilled over to a stranger who would not criticize him, he felt a calmness in his chest.
"I'm better thanks to you." Jake says. "A few weeks ago, I, who did not know you, was in a very humiliating state of heartbreak. I feel so crumpled. However, after meeting you, my pieces came back intact. I'm so grateful."
"Rethinking those times, to be honest, I became very curious as to why you and Angela separated. I mean, you guys used to be a couple that really enlivened my cafe. You're like princess and prince charming."
Jake smiles at Jessica's analogy, describing her as prince charming.
Does Jessica still have the same impression of her? Jake wonders.
Does Jessica, still consider her worthy of a charming prince?
"I understand a relationship can end at any time, but.., as for what your breakup-akkk, sorry." Jessica gasps. He's been too cool to talk until he forgets that he's been blunt in voicing his curiosity, even though he's a nobody and Jake's problem is not the problem.
"I don't mean to seriously 'want to know'. It was just something I thought superficially about. I'm sorry."
Jake watched Jessica, a faint smile etched on his face. "No problem, really. It's natural for you to be curious. You yourself saw firsthand how lively my and Angela's relationship was in the first days. It is natural for you to be surprised when we who spread harmonious relations, end up running aground tragically."
"Yeah.., I can't justify something just because it's natural. Intervening in other people's problems is not something to be taught."
The chatter between Jessica and Jake again subsided after Jessica gave her response. Jake pensively sips his orange juice. Jessica, on the other hand, is busy watching tourists passing by the streets of Vegas. Their performance reminded Jessica of Oscar a few days ago. It was as if they had come from Honolulu.
"Jessica" Jake muttered.
"Hmm?"
"Are you close to Demian?"
"Huh?" jake's question made Jessica look up.
"I know I've asked you this, but..., it's hard to rationalize your closeness as a relationship between a customer and a cafe owner, right? Especially when he's so comfortable around you. You too..."
"Who is comfortable with whom?" Jessica brushed off Jake's words for a moment.
Denial spouted out from his mouth, creating a word carriage barging out from his throat at a rapid rate. "He just acted as he pleased. Demian was a heartless and obnoxious man, he acted arbitrarily at me, as if he had the right to do that."
Jessica.
"Well, so you guys are close."
"Not close" Jessica said. "Our impossibility is close. He's a crazy dictator, and you're right.., we're not just regular guests and hosts?"
Jessica can't be as happy as her heart reveals the secret that Demian often lives in her house, it will only create annoying misunderstandings.
"What..., boyfriend?"
How could Jessica be dating a guy who doesn't even like her? Jessica too, Jessica did not know what kind of feelings she had towards Demian. Even though bed-related is fun, but.., damn it!
Nope, no. Forget that!
"We met regularly at the cafe" Jessica said at last. "At first, our closeness was just limited to my professional hospitality, was it? But, since she visits so often, she gets pretty close to my friends."
"Oh?"
"But that doesn't mean we're getting very close. She is only familiar with my friends, she is also happy to harass me. You know, we don't really fit."
Jake tilts his head, "It's amazing he can be close to you guys. In my memory, Demian wasn't that enthusiastic. Even though we met a lot, he still looked at me with hostility."
"That's because you're fighting over the same woman!" toilet Jessica.
"Ah..," No. Jessica doesn't understand Jake's point.
In the eyes of Jake Allendale who was already content with fighting his way with Demian, the man was a haughty man who did not socialize with anyone. She is very talkative and just puts her focus on Angela. When with Angela too, Demian is not a typical man who will melt warmly. He remains as solid as ice cubes.
Because the impression of Demian in Jake's head is very different from the one Jessica suffered, Jake so feel that the closeness of Jessica and Demian 'very close'.
That night, Demian was so possessive of Jessica. Whether it was from her arbitrary treatment, or from the way Demian looked at Jake like an enemy, her gestures suggested that 'Jessica is mine!'.
"I was curious." muttered Jake slowly, he poked Jessica in the cheek with his index finger. "You're underestimating your existence too much, Jessica."
Jake is curious, until when will Jessica turn a blind eye to Demian's obsession with her?
"I don't know what you're thinking" Jessica said. "But between me and Demian nothing will happen. She's just...,"
Just...
There's no clarity there. Demian's absurd actions and their later adhesiveness have no explanation. Whether it was just lust or something, Jessica had already given up on finding out.
Jessica decides to live out her relationship with Demian without any intention of expecting clarity. She was lost enough with all her thoughts now, Jessica thought closing her eyes in the dark was the solution now.
"Have you forgotten that Demian likes Angela?" Jessica suddenly snapped her finger.
"Ahahahaha, right too. How can you think we were dating when that bastard guy bought Angela 24/7. He's already in love with Angela, trust me."
Jake can't deny that reality either. Jessica's words are right there. Demian has always been a long-time cuddle with Jessica.
"So you don't have anyone now?" Jake asked back. This time I looked at Jessica's face. To her green, forest-like iris, her thin open pink lips, her small nose, her delicate cheeks...,
Jake looked at Jessica with a foreign pounding on his ribs. Reminds him of a feeling that had perched in his heart. A feeling that makes all colors bright cheerful, flowers blooming bright, hot shade all over his body, a feeling of liking.
"I have no intention of dating," Jessica said, looking back at Jake who was now looking at her with an unexplainable look.
Is there a chilli on his teeth? Thick powder next door? A cracked lipstick? Jessica was uncomfortable.
"Jake?" Call Jessica. "Is there something wrong with my face?"
"Huh?"
"You've been looking at me..." Jessica laughed blandly. Mirror, now Jessica needs a mirror.
"Ah, am I making you uncomfortable?" Jake's gurgling.
"Well, not really."
Jake's smile then ripped. Smile wrong. "I'm sorry, I was just wondering why you don't have a boyfriend when you have a pretty face."
Ca-beautiful? Jake Allendale praises her?
Drrrrr!!!
Drrrrrrtt!!!
A call interrupts the awward interaction between them.
Realizing that the vibration was coming from her phone, Jessica immediately reached into her pocket.
Elliot's name is on Jessica's phone screen, calling her.
Awahhh!
Thankfully, Elliot called out to him. What salvation did the goddess Fortuna give. Jessica wants to hug Elliot right now.
'Thank you for helping me from afar, pal.'
If Elliot doesn't interrupt, Jessica could be silent forever. He had no idea what Jake was saying. Nor did he trust the man for a moment.
It's just...
A tone of voice that implies praise, a gaze that implies longing, Jessica is afraid that her interpretation of Jake's actions is what is happening in reality.
He was afraid of misunderstanding. Because, Jake Allendale couldn't possibly tease her, right?
Jake of all...
That's disconcerting.
*