One Night With Your Wife
Looked at himself despicable

“ Shut up!” mama Widya's turn to speak. The woman stood in front of Fabian to plead.

” Fabian has said many times that he did not do anything. It wasn't she who hurt Zean to tears. You should stop accusing Fabian !” 

“ It's only natural that we suspect Fabian because he has so many reasons not to like Zavian. Especially today Zavian announced the election of a new CEO, while all this time we know that Fabian has ambitions to get the position,” said Aunt Tania. 

“ True it. Fabian is currently suffering from reactive HIV . It could be that he wants to nularin his disease to Zean because he feels the same grudge Zavian,” Aunt Siska timpal.

Mama Widya shook her head quickly, she could not believe that Fabian would do such a lowly thing. While Fabian felt his heart being sliced so painfully. He was cornered and accused of being desperate despite doing nothing wrong.

“ Fabian will not be as bad as Zean.” Mama Widya murmured. He's so sure. 

“ Intention in heart who knows mbak,” sahut Aunt Siska with cynical.” Fabian can only cheat and be evil with Zavian who incidentally his own brother. Especially the same Zean who was born from the womb of Nayara. “

Zavian understands everyone is worried about his son's situation but he does not want this to cause a fierce feud. Especially if this problem reaches everywhere and discusses things that actually do not need to be revealed anymore. In addition, Zean is now silent and comfortable in Nayara's arms. 

“ My son is fine,” said Zavian mediates the hot atmosphere.

 “ Please do not argue let alone to bring up what has passed.” 

“ Sure your son is okay ?” tanya Aunt Tania made sure. 

“ Yes, Aunt. Already ,ya. Let's go back to the middle room ,” said Zavian with a soothing tone. 

Unfortunately they are not that easy to calm down. The cynical look was still fixed on Fabian who was now being protected by Mama Widya. 

“ I have never had such evil intentions,” Fabian said in a voice vibrating with emotion.” I will endure this disease alone as a form of punishment for the wrongs I have committed. I will not pass this disease on to anyone! So , stop accusing and look at me as low as that.”

Fabian felt his chest hurt a lot. Her tears floated until her eyes felt blurred. He was sick and everyone hated him. At this point Fabian was aware that he should not be in the middle of this family. 

“ Brengssek all of you.” umpat Fabian before leaving the room. The pain and disappointment of clenching his chest made it hard for him to breathe air. 

Fabian's departure was followed by Mama Widya who gave a disappointed look to everyone. After that each disbanded, as did Zavian and Nayara. They decided to go home because tonight's show can't go on anymore. 

Inside his room, Fabian went berserk until he slammed all the items he could reach. He was disappointed, hurt and angry. All the emotions filled his chest that did not go away. Among the chaos he had made, Fabian fell to his feet and cried while hugging his own knees.

He thought his world had collapsed when tests revealed he had HIV, but it turned out that the world was still a lot crueler. The punishment has not stopped there. Negative stigma and bad views will continue to accompany her wherever she goes. 

After all the problems and diseases he suffered, Fabian felt that he did not deserve to live anymore. He was tired of the mental burden that had been piling up on his shoulders. He had drifted away and limited the interaction, but he could not control the other person's view of him. 

Everyone still hated him, moved away from him, and looked at him so contemptuously. Even when he approached a baby alone, all the bad accusations were immediately on him. So despicable was Fabian's figure in the eyes of the people. 

It was all much more painful than a dagger incision. Until finally the desire to commit suicide again crossed Fabian's mind. This disease would definitely make him die and Fabian did not want to wait long while enjoying the pain that continued to whack.

Right now he was standing on a bridge under which there was a huge river. Fabian looked at the stream with a calm current underneath. Long enough he drove alone splitting the night to get to this place. 

 ‘ Right time to kill yourself,’ Fabian murmured in the heart .

Not like his failed suicide attempt . Now no one will prevent or save him. Fabian could imagine his body sinking down there and drifting away into the faraway place . He could die peacefully here.

The world would be fine without her presence. His heart suddenly froze and cold if he remembered the broken path he had been through. The road will no longer be able to be repaired. 

Fabian climbed over the guardrail and sighed deeply . He was already preparing to jump and meet death but the ringing of his cell phone sounded so annoying. 

Two o'clock in the morning. Who called him at a time like this?”

Fabian reached into the pocket of his pants and picked up the phone. Zavian's name is listed there and Fabian scolds cynics. He had no intention of raising the call and shut it down immediately. But the call came back in, Zavian still insisted on calling him.

“ Maybe he will be the only person I will say goodbye to, “ said Fabian who sounded sad. Then he picked up the call.

“ What's wrong?” fabian asked in a sharp tone, He held back a gig because of the cold night wind. 

“ Lo love Mama, no?” ask Zavian across the phone.

Fabian grieves jengkell,” Lo calls me at this hour just for the name?”

“ In a time when everyone is blaspheming and denouncing your bad behavior, Mama becomes the only person standing by your side. Mama is willing to be hated just because her decision is not in accordance with the wishes of our other families. Mama, he was willing to do anything for his favorite child.” Zavian's voice paused for a moment and Fabian listened while contemplating.

“If now you think your life should be over, please tell Mama . Ask your mom to stop thinking about you. Tell Mama you never loved her. Let Mama not feel lost...”.

Fabian sighed deeply, feeling his nose ache for taking too long to breathe cold air. Zavian's words touched something deep within him. He felt his conscience was pinched by an invisible hand. 

“ Stop doing stupid things that will only make Mama regret and continue to feel as a failed mother figure.” 

Fabian turned off the phone, then gazed back at the calm flowing surface of the river. If he were to die now, perhaps his world affairs would be finished. But what about Mama Widya?

Therefore Fabian again jumped over the bridge guardrail and walked towards his car. The desire to kill yourself just stops. In the midst of inner war and mental burden, she still wants to see the smile of Mama Widya who has always loved her. 

At the end of the dark path without any illumination, Zavian exhaled a coarse breath. There was relief greeting his heart, though the pain was still trying to find a place. Zavian recalls Mama Widya's words as they waited for Fabian in the hospital after a failed suicide attempt. 

‘ Mama loved Fabian as deeply as Mama loved your Papa. If Fabian can't survive, then Mama will do the same to catch up with him. Mama can not live longer just to cry over the departure of people who Mama loves.’

Zavian sighed deeper to fill the space in his chest with cold air. He never pretended to anything. Including saving Fabian on various occasions and repeatedly pressing the ego to get rid of the man.

The reason is, because Zavian really loves his mother even though fate in life is as painful as that. 

.

...****************...