Thaha
Misunderstanding 2

I don't know how many hours have passed while I was asleep, or even how many days have passed....? all I knew was that Louis never left my side, he was always by my side to talk to me even though he knew that I would never answer him, the melodious chants of the Qur'an verses he always chanted with his sweet voice seemed to seduce me to quickly wake up to join him and I always liked when Louis recited the Qur'an for me

Mommy sometimes comes here just to make sure Louis eats something, that's also what I'm worried about, I'm afraid Louis will ignore his health and just dwell on work and also take care of me, not only did Louis invite me to talk Mommy was always greeting, too, and tell about the events that Louis went through in the past although more dominated by Mommy's complaints because of Louis's quiet attitude and over-custody image, at the end of the sentence Mommy never tired of asking me to wake up immediately, of course I really want to wake up and re-create with them, but when hearing the call, made me afraid to wake up again, made me afraid to wake up, just as it was today, the little boy came back with his adorable cute voice but kept the invisible thorns that were in slow motion creeping through my heart, I don't know what he's going to talk to Louis about this time

"Daddy, can I stay with you, Mommy wants to see big Daddy today" finally after all this time there are also people here besides Mommy and Louis who speak languages that I can understand

that spoiled whimper sounded a little painful to me, but it also fostered quite a deep sense of guilt in my mind

the guilt of having been present between them, and by accident I had forced them to share the love of their loved ones, my eyes heated up as I recalled that reality, the crystal clear grains I tried to endure finally spilled back over the eye patch and flowed into a stream of creeks that stretched over my temple, I cried in a chest-stifling guilt,

o Allah, how will I face them when I wake up.....?

"it's ok, you can stay, come here" I felt the bed next to me that was empty was now slipping due to the pressure of her tiny knee, she crawled up until I could feel her tiny body falling beside me

"Daddy why little Mommy crying....? are she in pain" I could feel her tiny hand trying to wipe away the tear grains that had soaked my eyes, her hand moving gently to sweep the crystal grains that were pouring out so violently

"pain, pain, go away, fuuuuu, fuuuuu, fuuuuu" she not only blew my closed eyes, but she also gave me a soft kiss on my cheek, such a sweet treatment, she said, and when I got such a sweet treatment from a child I accidentally snatched away the affection of a father that he should have had completely, making the guilt soar that my chest felt tight, I cried in my silence, I screamed as hard as I could to relieve the tightness of it, she said, in the body that was now lying quietly inside there the cry of guilt rumbled

o Allah what should Zu do.....? I try to think clearly when my mind is in a state of turmoil, chaotic like a tangled thread whose tip I do not know is in which part

"o Allah Zu, why cry...? Zu wakes up to tell him where the pain is, if Zu stays asleep we'll never know what Zu wants" louis's big hand was now taking away the clear grain that was still flowing in my temple, I knew he was confused at the moment and I knew that I shouldn't just keep quiet and run away

There is a time when we need to calm down, but that does not mean we are running away from the problems we face, no matter how much the problems that befall me at this time, but it does not mean we are running away from the problems we face, I'm sure there must be a way out, with this belief I try to strengthen my heart, not wanting to continue to drag on an endless long run, I prefer the pain I feel at one time but the problems I face are able to reach the end rather than hiding restless friends all the time

with all that desire I tried to knock my subconscious door open, the long road that stretched before me tried to pass even though my feet felt numb to reach there, slowly I began to search for the seeds of consciousness that I was trying to hide behind the deepest drawer of my mind, my hands quickly unpacking each of those drawers to find my consciousness, she said, until my energy began to drain none of the long-drawn drawers contained the seeds of consciousness that I did not throw in which drawer.....?

"Louis, Ale had an accident, we must to go to hospital, right now, your Daddy needs you" Mommy came in a panicked voice and asked Louis to come see Ale, I don't know who Ale Mommy was referring to, it's probably one of Louis' brothers who is currently in hospital

I don't know what Louis is feeling right now, whether he's confused, or whether the worry in his heart is more domineering, I just hope everything will be okay and I can find what I'm looking for to wake up quickly and accompany Louis, even though I know that there he certainly won't be alone, there will be others who will always be beside him

knowing that, it made me more confident in my decision, and it was probably the best of every exit I tried to think of before

"ok, I Will go with you, give me a moments mom" I could feel Louis's tender touch on my cheek before a soft whisper in my ear went melodious, she whispered that she would be back soon, and ended with a light kiss she placed on my forehead

I heard Louis talking to a faithful little boy beside me in Italian which I certainly did not understand, before Louis actually left a woman came to say hello, the woman that the little boy called Mommy, and with kindness that was actually very far from my shadow he would give to welcome me, it does not make me happy but instead adds a pile of guilt that has been arranged high to fill the space of my mind

the room turned silent, quiet, no words uttered just a warm touch of a tiny hand clasping my hand, which channeled warmth into the recesses of my soul that were cold and confused

how pure the love of this child, not even a little in his heart was filled with dislike for me, he even spoiledly coiled without fear of strangers like me, it was as if he had known me for a long time, and as if I wasn't some stranger he should be aware of

"Elio, you can sleep with little Mommy if you sleepy" the woman spoke in her soft voice using a thick British accent, perhaps she was a native Englishman....? or is he an Italian who is good at using British accent....?

"but Daddy told me to take care of little Mommy until he came back" an answer that certainly never occurred to my mind would come out of the little boy I had first met, added to the current situation and situation

"ok, up to you, but if you really want to sleep, just go ahead, Mommy Will take care of her" my heart warmed up knowing how good this woman was, she said, and I'm also sure that if this woman will take good care of Louis as she did before I came, the decision is already unanimous, and I'm more and more convinced of the path I'm going to choose

I tried hard to find my consciousness that I could not find, I tried to dismantle one by one each drawer arranged in line before me, until I finally found the drawer, the drawer that would bring me reality that I was ready to face

the beam of light that began to pierce the eyes slowly propagated with a blurry light filled my vision, with a strong urge I tried to lift my long-rested eyelids up to the faintly opaque shade of a luxurious room dominated by gray greeted my vision warmly

"oh my God, she's wake up" my faint sense of hearing captured the melodious sound that greeted my hearing bones faintly until it turned clear and I could understand its meaning

I looked away at her, she was a beautiful and graceful woman with European facial lines, snow-white skin, a sharp nose, beautiful blue eyes like a bright daytime sky, lipstick-polished lips are blood-colored, very beautiful, and of course very contrary to my simple and what I am, brown skin ripe typical of southeast Asia, and, with pale lips clearly no match, like heaven and earth, we are distinctly different

I re-circulated my gaze scrutinizing every detail of the room that could not be said to be small, even this room is bigger than my room which is united with the family room and prayer room in my parents' house

my gaze turned to the petite creature with a very adorable and handsome face at the same time, I could see a flash of Louis's shadow framing his face, no wonder he was so handsome

she fell asleep very fast, but I remember how stubborn she was when she refused to sleep and insisted on looking after me until Louis returned

"want some water, oh let me help you up" he canceled his intention to get a glass of water for me, and switched to helping me to position my body so that it was not fully stretched

he was about to return the water to me before my hand stopped its steps

"it's ok, can we talk" I can't delay anymore, I'm afraid if I intend to delay longer it will further fade my courage to carry out this decision

"eeemmm, okay"