Thaha
need you 2's

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my heart rhythm, which was originally soft, now beats faster than my slow-moving footsteps, each pounding faster as the distance erodes. melodies that were originally harmonious are now no longer arranged to create new schemes that confuse

"Mommy" Elio's tiny hands touched my cheeks, his eyes staring with a questioning look, the anxiety that emanated made me realize that Elio could also feel the anxiety I was experiencing

or maybe Elio is worried about my condition which some days is enough to make the whole house in a fog

"yes Baby"

"Daddy....?" I can't read Elio's mind

but because I interacted with Elio so much, it made me understand Elio's intentions and desires without saying anything.

although sometimes it feels difficult to understand the meaning that Elio is aiming for with mixed language or with a very minimal Indonesian vocabulary and mispronunciation

"it's ok, Mommy's fine. later we call Daddy" I took Elio's hand lodged in my cheek to bring it closer to my lips, a gentle kiss I put there, a soft kiss, followed by the next kiss I put on her puffer cheek

mother sat first on the edge of the mattress, my feet followed her and sat next to her

"unfortunately, if you want to breastfeed do not be too tense, Zu's irregular heartbeat will make Elio restless, and it will be difficult for ASI to come out, Zu must calm down ok ..?" I nodded my ass, even though in fact my heart was struggling cheerfully to follow the rhythm of rock music

I tried to calm down and follow every clue that I explained, step by step, slowly patiently explaining each stage and process until Elio was able to nurse well, the first thing I felt was fear, but I tried to suppress it so that the feeling did not impact Elio

slowly but surely, though Elio often says "there's no milk Mommy" or "there's no milk uti" Elio follows the instructions patiently

when Elio can patiently follow instructions, I should be more accepting and patient and cry in silence. Guilt is the dominating feeling at this time. not to mention the tremendous pain was re-emerging

"Zu, don't cry. Zu must be patient, Istighfar dear, multiply mention the name of Allah" I hold the hand of the mother is quite strong but not the least mother protested about it

my lips were soaked with dhikr, asking that God might give me strength, I was sure that no trials would go beyond our capabilities

when God gives me a test, then God is sure if I can pass it, when God is so sure of my ability, why should I doubt my own ability

isn't it, the wind blows not to knock down a tree, but to test how strong the roots are.

"Zu want to call Louis....?" mother offered

"don't Mom, later instead of more calm, Zu even cry if you see Louis's face.Pity Louis if Zu continues to disturb"

I know enough that when I cry and often ask Louis to come home, Louis will try all kinds of ways to get him home soon. what I fear is that Louis will be desperate to return to Indonesia without listening to Daddy's advice.

sometimes Louis can be as stubborn as Elio, and sometimes he can be reckless doing things that are beyond reason.

how do I know about that.....?

of course from my spies who are quite loyal. hihihi, joking.I got information from Mommy and also Elisha.

although the distance was far enough, but did not make the communication between us cut off just like Louis, Mommy and Elisa often called me. sometimes Leora also often contact me, not as often as Mommy or Elisha

I looked down to see Elio who was still at home there, although he often complained because his breast did not exist, but he still enjoyed his activities. his eyes sometimes closed for a while, before then opening them again.it happened several times until finally Elio had to give up to dock in the dreamland

"has it been quieter....?" mother asked when she felt my hand no longer held too tightly to her hand

"Alhamdulillah, mother, forgive Zu Bu, if Zu has been wrong all this time.thank you for raising Zu with such great patience" I said with eyes that turned dewy again.

given how extraordinary the sacrifice of a mother. I have just felt a little of that sacrifice, but her voice already wants to lift the white flag only. This is new about breastfeeding, what about pregnancy and childbirth.....?

o Allah deserves Islam to glorify women, because from it the successor of the generation of Allah is entrusted

such a noble task

(HR Al Bukhari and Muslim).

but unfortunately in the secular capitalist era today, the noble role of a mother is much pawned with the busy looking for rupiah coffers

the mother who should be a madrasah ula, as an educator, can no longer carry out her role

a mother who should nurture her baby with love and affection is now replaced by the role of the babysitter, while the mother is again busy with career affairs and rupiah coffers to meet the needs of the family

or even the role of the mother to provide the best care, giving love and tenderness replaced by the role of busyness to fill empty stock cabinets in the kitchen

the secular capitalist system keeps mothers preoccupied with stomach problems, with the lifestyle makes the mother forget her main task to educate the generation so that this generation can later become leaders to become the milestones of civilization and become the best servant in front of the creator. God Al-Cholic, creator of the universe

" don't cry dear, the key is to be a mother's parent. sincerely Zu, and make the rules of God as our guide.make our love and obedience to God as the foundation we love our children, as the foundation, so when Zu begins to feel upset, angry or even hate the behavior and behavior of one of them. Remember if God entrust him to us to foster, for us to be educated and for us to care. nasehati in a way that Ma'aruf. angrily in a way that is appropriate. if Zu rest all on the rules of Islam in shay Allah will all feel easy.they only deposit at any time Allah can take it. remember it always"

"insyaAllah Ma'am, Zu will always remember. Uhibbuki Fillah. I love youuuu"

"mother also love Zu because of God, now Zu sleep Elio first. mother wants to cook for dinner. do not go to bed already afternoon is not good"

"yes ma'am, this is Zu's ending"

mother stepped out of the room leaving me still staring at Elio in amazement, if it were not as painful as this I might cry to see how comfortable Elio was in my arms

my hand moved, rubbing Elio's head and putting a soft kiss on his forehead

I was getting ready to put Elio in the middle of the bed when my phone on the desk rang

the distance is quite far, how do I take it....?

finally I decided to take Elio in my sling, take the HP that was on the table and take him to sit on the chair that was near the bed

"assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarokatuh, yes By....?"

"wa'alaikum salam warohmatullah wabarokatuh, again why.....?" Louis asked

I didn't answer right away, but my free hand quickly turned the call into a video call, after Louis received it. My hand pointed the camera to capture a picture of Elio nursing

"hiks..emm"

my tears broke when I saw the image of Louis looking at Elio full of water

"hey, why cry.....?"

"no By, no out" the more I was asked the more dissolved in my tears, even though I had tried to hold him back but as I said before, when I see Louis, I can't stop my crying

"patience, it's okay, it's not out now, Albi. Women normally need a process of 9 months 10 days to produce milk, whereas we try to cut it very briefly. remember dear all need process.do not God himself teach if all things need process.patience yes"

"hik.. hiks, By's sorority, Elio has no milk formula By, he does not want"

complaining, only that is the most powerful way to get rid of the sadness that continues to gnaw.taste that is always present lately, although not like but the taste still comes. plus when the middle of calling Louis as it is today. its potent nature must be kumat. astagfirullah

"sorry, Hubby has not been able to accompany. what can Hubby make so that Albi can be better....?"

sometimes I feel guilty if Louis has been like this, but how else, I can't do anything with my whiny attitude that increased so annoyingly

"home na, want Hubby here same Zu"

"honey, all the airports are closing access.not that they don't want to go home" great Louis who never complained with my increasingly annoying attitude. I even just found out if I have a nature as thick as this, O God, rob

...~*TBC**~...

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