Thaha
rain carrier miss 5
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the long queue that will lead me to my hometown is getting shorter, the disturbing emotions that were originally struggling in the mind are now eroded, replaced by dhikr who is unceasingly slanted in silence.
the tears that originally decorated the eye patch have now disappeared erased the cold of the blowing night wind
I glanced at Elio who was sound asleep in my arms, resting his head comfortably on my shoulders, boisterous conversation with fluent Indonesian over the phone did not disturb his sleep at all
it was as if Elio had been immersed in the imagination of a dream island filled with surprises and adventures
seeing his peaceful face made me a little calm, this baby was really not in the least disturbed by the tense situation at this time, the little mask Louis gave did not disturb his sleep
I rubbed the soft cheek of the mask-covered padlocked Elio, trying to smile to strengthen the heart that had previously been upset
look at this baby, the mini-human who taught me how sincere and trustworthy it should be. In his simple mind he did not even think about what would happen in the next few seconds. all he knows is one, as long as he's with his mother he'll calm down
why can't we adults do the same....? shouldn't we be at peace as long as there is God, we feel safe because nothing will happen to us except with God's permission...?
“Behold, if all the people come together to benefit you from something, they will not be able to benefit you in the least except what Allah has ordained for you, and if they come together to harm you of something, they will not harm you except the accident that Allah has ordained for you. Pen has been lifted and sheet has dried”
[HR, Ahmad 1/293, Tirmidhi 2516]
and why should I worry if whatever Allah wills upon me is the best course for me
“...God wants convenience for you, and does not want difficulties for you...”.
[Al-Baqarah 2:185]
like a very powerful mantra, that calmness slowly enveloped my mind, my brain that was once dead-end can now think clearly
the swinging step by step felt more and more steady without the slightest trace of doubt in it
once again I looked back as the glass door was closed I saw the glint and shadow of Louis running behind the big glass that was our barrier, but unfortunately I could no longer turn around. I had entered the doorway that would bring my steps closer to the iron bird runway that was ready to take me home
I smiled and strengthened my heart before turning and stepping ready to leave this place
what about Elio....?
my baby was still comfortably asleep and even tightened his grip on my neck, the door was already closed. I didn't have enough time to shout out to Louis, who I'm sure is currently in the midst of a huge search for my whereabouts as well as Elio's
if I saw Louis early, I might still have a little time to just hand Elio over or maybe I could just ask Louis to come home with me
but back again I strengthen my heart, there is no point in wondering, after all time can not be pushed back let alone back
all I can do is pray to Allah and leave my other soul mates to always be in the protection of Allah
...'O Allah, I leave the backbone you have bestowed upon the servant, as the best partner of the servant in every step of your way, take care of him, guard his heart and his sight, and get us back in better shape....
...only you ask, only to you servant pleads yes Hafidz'...
...~*TBC**~...
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