Thaha
motherhood

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The cool dew is now hugging the morning, spreading the cool air that makes the bristles crumble. The sun is still in the contest, still reluctant to greet the world.as well as some other inhabitants of the earth, as well as some other people, there are still many who fall into the cradle of the dream world

my sleep in the past few days has never been better, either because of fever or my body is getting tired, my sleep last night was so deep that I forgot the discomfort due to fever and pain

or because last night I felt Louis was here with me.....?

I'm pretty sure he was here last night, even though when my eyes opened all I saw was a blanket of blankets that stretched out to hug my body, filling the empty space that last night wrapped around me and Louis

it's all just a fantasy that feels real

all just a dream shadow

I stared softly at the place where Louis was present in the shadows of the night

my body moved, woke up to expel the memories of the dreamland that felt real, took a slow breath and threw them away quite hard, he said, hope disappointed because no longer able to see the presence of Louis directly go together the night that now changed in the morning

I glanced at the clock that no longer sounded like the previous days.Maybe Absyar deliberately turned off my alarm last night.

my eyes stared at the numbers that I would very rarely meet upon waking up, it was too late.it was too late to do the daily activities that always accompanied my morning

mother's voice that usually always greet my eardrums has not been heard. has mother deliberately let me fall asleep enjoying the cradle of my dream nature...?

it's even 03:55.....?

adzan dawn is soon to reverberate

how was my baby padlock last night...? does Elio sleep well.....?

I hastened to get up, walked to the bathroom to clean up and wudhu, soon after dawn.

considering that I spent my night in a dream crib making my heart restless, I've spent my precious time meeting my Rob, a true lover who never leaves and forgets me

it is to him that I depend on all my business, he who is all loving and all-loving.to him I pour out my longing, and only to him did I leave the affairs of my heart which these few days are often erratic

and last night I just missed it.....?

it's a loss

I don't want to miss more moments of my encounter with Rob, hastening to pick up an encounter that was delayed last night, replaced by an illusory shadow of the dream world

when my feet had reached the bathroom, I felt a bit of awkwardness.I bowed my head to look at the expanse of cloth that was getting wet, quite a lot of your fibers were flooded with liquid

upon seeing it, a feeling of relief, joy and sadness mixed into my mind.

I hurried to clean up and change clothes, get ready to see my family, especially my mother, or maybe I'll call Louis later

when I went to the mosque, there everyone had gathered, including Elio, who was asleep next to my mother, I woke Elio when the prayer time began

I am very grateful Elio is not too difficult to navigate, although sometimes fussy, spoiled or even sometimes make the stock of patience thin. but whatever it is all things are worth being grateful for and taken care of as best as possible

"Mom, just now when Zu woke up ASI was out, quite a lot also on the right, but the left is still not smooth" I spoke to mother when the others had left, this morning they had an online study at dawn.

even Absyar also participated in the study, whereas usually Absyar a little difficult to participate in the dawn study event, he prefers the dawn time yes in use for muroja'ah than others.

maybe this time the theme interests him.

it's probable.

"Alhamdulillah, finally can also, even though the mother used to take a long time to wait for ASI smoothly when Abyan's brother was born, yes Zu tried to breastfeed, yes, later on somewhat regrettably we consult with doctor Azura"

"dead mother Zu, can you....? Zu's still scared"

mother smiled soothingly right, her hands gently enveloping my hands that turned cold

"call his Elio" I glanced at Elio who was still trying to pick up the book he used to learn to read the Qur'an.

brother Abyan who bought it when I was a hospital room resident some time ago

"Elio, baby come here" (Elio, baby come here) I waved at Elio and asked him to come closer

"Mommy this" (This Mommy) Elio did not immediately respond to my call, he was still trying to take his book tucked between the rows of the Qur'an

I moved closer, approaching Elio who was still sitting in front of the shelf where some books and the Qur'an were neatly arranged

I gently held Elio's hands together and faced her body to face right at me

"baby, can you come to Mommy when Mommy calls you, don't make Mommy wait and call you several times. get it.....?"

(baby, can Elio approach Mommy when Mommy calls Elio, don't make Mommy wait and call Elio again.?. ?)

I wanted Elio's focus, and I wanted Elio to understand my words, hoping he would listen and understand them very well, so that he could remember them for the next time

"ok Mommy. sorry" (ok Mommy. sorry) Elio's head bowed with the look of my eyes

"it's ok, don't do it again. I love you"

(it's okay, don't repeat. Mommy loves Elio)

I kissed both of Elio's ears and said with a soft "barokAllahu lak"

"I love you Mommy" Elio's tiny hands stretched out before then coiled perfectly around my neck. Of course I reciprocated, channeling my love to Elio, so that Elio could feel how much I loved him

and that reprimand is a form of my affection for her

after I felt enough, my hands gently back reduced Elio's embrace and took her sitting in my lap

I slowly explained what I meant by calling her, explaining in simple language that Elio could digest her well

"Baby, Alhamdulillah Allah grant our prayers, and there's milk now, Elio want to drink it....?" (Baby, God has granted our prayer, now there is milk, does Elio drink it.?) I asked carefully

I saw Elio pause for a while before his hands extended back and hugged me again. A small sobbing sounded from the blemish of his lips

"baby what happen....? why are you crying....?" (Baby what's wrong....? why is Elio crying...?)

I felt a little confused by Elio's reaction, whether he was happy or not, I couldn't guess yet, Elio still hid his face in the recess of my neck

"don't cry unfortunately Mommy, Elio won't drink....?, you don't want it anymore....?" I could feel a little ring from Elio's head that was still lodged in the recess of my neck

I waited for a while until Elio was a little calmer, and then I asked

"so....?" (so....?)

"drink Mommy" her voice sounded very soft, not to mention that Elio's lips were still blocked by the face I was wearing right now

"ok, let's go" I grabbed Elio in my arms, and led him to my room, while mother walked first to my room

I still remember how my mother taught me how to hold Elio while breastfeeding and what I had to do so that Elio could breastfeed comfortably, re-emerged in my mind, like re-playing a movie scene that I've watched automatically

mom sat next to me to make sure that after using Nursing cover, the cape I used while breastfeeding Elio at home, of course when I was not using Khimar as it is today

it is not funny if the aura is open, even though the mother is also a woman, but still we have a limit of aurat that should not be seen by other women. of course this is different from the limits of the aurat which is the boundary between men and women who are not mahramnya

"say Bismillah before drink" I said softly to Elio who was still hesitating

my hand gently rubbed Elio's back, trying to convince Elio that everything would be fine

my lips curled perfectly when Elio could suckle smoothly, his face sparkled, and the red clover on his cheeks grew red, the clear spheres of tears dripping from the blemish of his closed eyelids

"Alhamdulillah" I unceasingly give thanks for the great favor of God

the happiness that God gives always leads me to the gratitude that makes my heart melt with pleasant euphoria

how great is the favor of God, and how perfect is the mercy of God

even though Louis was not here with us, though there was an unfilled void but not the least bit of gratitude that was building up in the garden of my heart that was in the spring

I slowly lowered my head, landing a gentle kiss on Elio's head

"Alhamdulillah, Zu continue breastfeeding Elio. mother wants to go to the kitchen first. want to make breakfast"

"yes ma'am, God willing, Zu will help mom"

"don't forget to tell Louis that Elio can suckle"

"iya Bu, insyaAllah discharged this directly Zu phone "

mother left me who still admired how perfect God was in regulating all things, until the baby who could not do anything, with his generosity God has provided Rezki in the way that God has set

...~*TBC**~...

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