Thaha
Rain Carrier Misses 8

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"Zu......, eemmm..... Her stomach still hurts....?" Louis asked carefully

although I felt a little confused by the sudden change in the topic, not to mention Louis's question that seemed very careful to make me look at Louis with a frown on the forehead that is very deep, I kept following the direction of the conversation, although I responded with a question as well

this is called a no answer

"Hubby knows where Zu's stomach hurts....?

"Zu, even if we are far enough apart, it doesn't mean that I'll lose responsibility for Zu, of course I will do my best to look after Zu"

"oe oe. so sweet"

"this child" the mother who sat beside me, immediately stopped her activity of arranging the goods on the small cupboard located beside the bed, and with an anxious movement gave a soft pinch on my cheek

"iya loh Bu, Zu's su sir, so sweet, my father lost so sweet, ngiri ya....?"

"no" the mother said nonchalantly, walking towards the sofa

I just realized that this room has quite complete furniture, a size that is quite spacious, and certainly not a place that will be visited by my family, he said, and of course the room that will be very much different from the hospital room that I always see, when visiting my friends or relatives when they get sick exams

I refocused my attention on Louis looking at me with a faint smile

"Alhamdulillah, seeing Zu who has lengthened mother, means that his stomach is no longer sick" Louis spoke with a thin smile that always looms on his lips, but somehow the look in his eyes seemed to emit something different

"Alhamdulillah, it's better, hubby don't worry, here there is a mother, Rama and brother Zu, they are also expelled from the country where they studied, hihihi" I laughed at the end of my words, remembering that Brother Abyan and Absyar would have no weapons to mock me

"Albin....."

louis' voice sounded softer as he called out to me

"yes"

"eemmm, if someone were to leave an item to Albi, and after a few days the person came again to pick up the item, would Albi give the item away....?"

I'm a little weird about the question Louis asked, instead of what, the answer should be very clear, right....?

"how is what.....? yes, in return dong Hubby, cook Zu hold, it does not belong to Zu" I move my head to the left and to the right, not to forget the smile and small laughter that made Louis who was there also a small smile

" Albi....., Allah has left his gift to us some time ago, but when Albi came home to Indonesia Allah took it back..."

I tried to digest Louis' words with my suddenly empty brain, which was ringing in my head just the word "God has taken back the title"

"Zu.." louis' voice rang out again, trying to pull out my consciousness that was suddenly locked in my mind.

"honey......"

as that realization hit my mind, unknowingly the crystal clear grains slowly flowed through my originally dry cheeks

I cried in silence without a sound

"Zu, dear.." I don't know since when the mother who originally sat on the sofa has now been beside me, hugging me and trying to calm me who still sculpt.

on the screen, Louis was also closed, trying to hold back tears that unfortunately had flowed and could not be contained anymore

"hi, honey what what's going on....?"

Mommy who had just entered the living room area was shocked to see Louis's state of affairs

he walked towards Louis hurriedly and tried to ask Louis the situation, as Mommy's eyes stared at the screen, instead of looking at me who was also pecking in the arms of mother. and with tears still flowing. Mommy no longer asks.

"it's ok honey, it's ok"

Mommy carried Louis in her arms while looking at me, and in her gentle words tried to calm us both down, even though Mommy herself cried in silence

" mother, Louis put Louis' wife and child, dear not too long to grieve, ikhlaskan.what is ours inshaAllah will God return to us"

after saying that, the screen that originally showed the faces of Louis and Mommy now changed to display family images that mother made HP wallpaper

it was only after Louis's face was no longer visible that my crying voice broke, crying in the arms of the mother, repeatedly saying "inna lilahi wa Inna ilaihi Raji'un" unconsciously since then I tried not to be too hysterical, trying to summarize what God has set for me. because what we have now all belongs to God, whereas we only have the right to use, the right to borrow, not the right to belong.

"o Allah, son of Zu Bu" I could no longer contain my tears, though I tried my hardest, not to forget the overwhelming sadness that had struck me

"grace, God has arranged the best for Zu"

"Zu never even knew he had a mother, Zu didn't know a mother, O God"

although I tried to endure the pain and sadness that suddenly whack, the regrets that continue to gnaw, the suppositions that continue to swirl in the mind

if I had known earlier

if I had known she had grown up in my stomach

if only I could be more careful

supposing....

supposing....

and if only the other

truly I have tried to scavenge it, trying to accept it with a spacious chest

but, it's not that easy to be sincere

"mom knows Zu is sad, but Zu must keep in mind dear, what happened to Zu, does not mean that God does not love Zu, maybe this is the best for Zu and also Louis

yesterday the doctor told us, if the miscarriage that Zu experienced, due to the impact that occurred before, was, stress and also the body of Zu who experienced fatigue make baby candidates can not be attached perfectly to the injured uterus of Zu, who is injured,

if the baby can survive, the baby will not be able to develop perfectly baby.is not God all good, Remember Zu, God is all-knowing of anything hidden, God loves every servant selflessly, dear, but sometimes we are too selfish and too imposing our will"

"Louis who listened was the same as Zu, devastated, sad, but Zu saw that Louis was trying to stay firm, calm, and smile. Zu also has to be, Zu also has to be patient dear"

I cried even more to hear about the condition of the baby that I had never seen, Bahakan I never knew of its existence

"patience dear"

"Mom, Zu wants to see Elio" I don't know why I need Elio so much right now, I want to hug him

"Zu must be calm if he wants to see Elio soon, must try to recover quickly"

"eeemmm, Miss Zu wants a break.....?"

I do not want my mother to be more sad about my condition, I will try to make it clear even though it can be ascertained if at any time I will never be able to forget it

my mother helped me to lie down slowly

"rest, dear, do not be too stressed, Remember, just explain what God has set, God willing, God will replace it with a better one"

mom gave me a soft sweep and kiss on the tip of my head before leaving me and sitting back on the couch

I again serighfar tried to recapitulate it, and received every qoda' that Allah set with a spacious heart

I was so busy with my thoughts spinning around in the same condition that when I didn't notice someone coming into the room, she talked to Mom for a while and came back out after she was done with her business

I tried to shut up, trying to calm the heart that had just been hit by a storm of sadness quite fiercely

...~*TBC**~...

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