THE FORMER SHADOW
34. Undecided

Badrina staggered up to her room. It's still a little sob. Cerdasi himself, the word echoed in his ears. Badrina has yet to find the meaning of her ex-husband's remarks.

Arshaka's accusation of calling her a married keblet was also not true for Badrina. He just wants to be devoted to Poppy and try to make his aunt happy because his marriage with Arshaka was opposed by Poppy. Divorce is karma for him? thought Badrina.

Now, Badrina is trying to accept the figure introduced to her by the woman who used to nurture her from childhood to give up single. Is there anything wrong with Badrina choosing such a path?

Badrina laid her body on the bed. He was tired, his strength felt drained. From the first his mind is often attacked by parties from outside himself. Although Badrina actually felt she should not blame Arshaka, but she used to rarely get emotional support from her ex-husband.

The most moving moment for Badrina was when she gave birth to Cantara through spontaneous labor accompanied by Arshaka. The man was faithfully beside her, clasping her hand when Cantara was born. Moaning sweat. The pain of childbirth changes with gratitude because there is a husband and child who perfect the path of life. Unfortunately, it was just a moment that was hard to forget.

Before and after the birth of Cantara, many events in Badrina in which he decided something himself, despite having married status.

At this time, instead of getting calm after the divorce, Badrina even got closer to Arshaka through the path of prolonged conflict. The man seemed unwilling to let go of Badrina to live quietly on this earth. For Badrina, Arshaka seemed to want to continue to overshadow his life.

Badrina's cry was exhausting itself, slowly slumbering in the grip of her sadness and loneliness. If there was no Cantara, perhaps he would have gone far away leaving those who hurt Badrina.

Arshaka slammed the door of her car and then walked into the house. His heart constantly cussed over the situation that was not improving.

"Shaka, the sound of your car door is very loud. Until heard to the house," complained Nuraini who was sitting reading a women's magazine.

Arshaka did not respond to Nuraini's words, only passing quickly to her room, ignoring Nuraini's words. The woman who gave birth to Arshaka could only stroke her chest and shake her head.

Nuraini guess is not an office job that makes his son so arrogant, this must be about his ex-wife. As a mother, Nuraini was able to feel what her son was going through.

Nuraini did not justify Arshaka who he thought was rash to behave by looking at his wife. Unfortunately, the rice has become a porridge. The porridge should also be enjoyed, even though it is very tasteful.

Inside his room, Arshaka opens and throws his coats and tie into the bed. He growled furiously, turned to the wall and then vented his regret by punching until his hands turned red.

In his mind flashed the shadows of Badrina and Cantara with Hafez. How the three of them lived together, laughed together and were happy. On the other hand, there is a shadow of how Cantara and Badrina suffered because of Hafez.

The two shadows are suffocating Arshaka's respiratory tract.

Arshaka scooped up a lot of air. He shook his head to resist the jealousy that rose up within him. This eight-year-old never felt what he was like.

Even after the divorce, he was led to the fact that his heart was heavy to see Badrina with someone other than himself. Arshaka feels unwilling that Badrina spend the rest of her life with another man.

Arshaka feels that only she deserves to be side by side with Badrina.

Arshaka is self-deprecating. He realized his stupidity because it unknowingly sprinkled with a foreign feeling that had grown in his heart. Arshaka is still trying to resist the gnawing regret of divorcing Badrina.

These eight years, Arshaka has been acting soberly towards Badrina, while she is not the gentle woman that Arshaka wants her to be. But how is she jealous when she is close to another man?

"No, it's impossible." Arshaka shook her head hard. "This must be because I can't accept Canta has a papa link like Hafez the female predator," he told himself.

Arshaka walked back and forth while rejecting her own feelings. There was anxiety in him, cooking he was subdued by jealousy.

Wait..wait a minute. Love??

After a while, Arshaka's phone rang. There's a call from Maulidya.

"Hello," said.

"Hello Mas Shaka, this afternoon I called Mas, probably busy. Is it okay?" asked Maulidya from across the street.

Arshaka quiet.

"I was worried when Mas suddenly left the apartment," said Maulidya blatantly showing a feeling of unease.

"Mas," called Maulidya anxious, not getting a response from Arshaka.

"Ah, I'm fine Lidya. I was in a hurry to meet Canta," Arshaka told me as she stroked her temple. Head's dizzy.

"Mas met Badrina too? Em... how's Canta's school, Mas?" ask Lidya in great curiosity.

"ee... Canta transferred Badrinq to Tunas Bangsa Kindergarten" Arshaka said.

"Oh. That's a small school, Mas. Why is it there, Mom?" maulidya asked with judgment.

Arshaka is lazy to continue the topic that made him angry at Badrina earlier. "long story. I just got home. Want to wash yourself first," said Arshaka not directly.

"Oh, yes Mas. I hung up on you, Mas." Their conversation was interrupted. Arshaka sat on the bench in her room. He took a long breath.

Memories with Maulidya before knowing Badrina dancing in his mind. Maulidya, the woman who used to be close to Arshaka. He left Arshaka because Maulidya chose another man who was more financially established than him.

That is also the reason why Arshaka is willing to work with Poppy to make money quickly. Although in reality, Arshaka's life path is lucky with good work.

Until one night, after Arshaka's work, he found Maulidya in a pregnant condition curled up near the fence of his house in tears under heavy rain. He put Maulidya in his car and took her to the hospital.

Since Maulidya was able to return home from the hospital, Arshaka lent her apartment for shelter to Maulidya and her son. There was no way she could have taken the pregnant Maulidya to her home with Badrina who was also pregnant.

If Badrina misunderstood, it could affect the fetus conceived so that Arshaka never introduced the two women to each other. Their love relationship broke up, but they kept in close communication and how they actually felt for years they kept meetings.

Arshaka knows who Maulidya's husband is. He even found a man who was also his friend during college to hold him accountable. Until a new fact is revealed, from there begins the bond Arshaka bound to Maulidya and the child he contains.

Arshaka is financing both lives in the name of humanity and past relationships. The last five years of Arshaka and Badrina's marriage were no longer as harmonious as before, plus the existence of Maulidya, the man often returned home at night and increasingly rarely paid attention to his wife and daughter.

There is a special preoccupation for Arshaka when taking care of Maulidya and Ameera whose fate is heartbreaking. Without the man conscious, his wife's life was neglected and increasingly distant from him.

But at this time, he seemed to want to embrace his ex-wife who was increasingly reluctant by his presence. Arshaka is worried about her own feelings.