THE FORMER SHADOW
41. Heartspour

Later that night, Danish rushed Badrina to the hospital.

This afternoon, after Arshaka changed clothes stained with blood, he had returned to the wardrobe to convey his desire to stay at Badrina's house because Cantara was not willing to go anywhere including his omana house. Arshaka intends to accompany her grieving daughter.

Badrina did not question Arshaka's wishes. He was even grateful because Arshaka was paying attention to their only daughter. Not only Arshaka, Nuraini was also willing to stay at Badrina's house as a form of support for her granddaughter.

At this time, Badrina's mind drifted on the incident, can feel the difference in response to the tantenya, Poppy, as the closest family to Arshaka as an ex-husband, more responsive Arshaka. Poppy had no intention of visiting Badrina's house to see Cantara.

Badrina snorted loudly. It did not escape the attention of Danish who was sitting casually on the bench waiting for the patient.

"Why, Aini? Seems like you're thinking heavy?" tanya Danish broke Badrina's daydream.

Badrina blinked, she forgot that Danish was currently with her. His busy mind brought unawareness of his surrounding condition.

"Ah, no. There is nothing," he said. Badrina was not yet convinced to devote her inner burden to anyone.

"Thinking ex?" guess Danish.

Badrina glanced at Danish at a glance, then fell silent.

"He's seriously going to talk to you."

The brief Danish speech made Badrina stunned. "Ka... you.. Where do you get the issue from?" asked Badrina trying to normalize her gesture.

"He confided. You were transferred to this VIP what was the motivation to try?" tanya Danish tried to get Badrina to think deeply.

"Because of Cantara, he said," said Badrina.

"Ck... Is that Shaka's answer?" ask Danish.

Badrina nodded her head while raising her eyebrows high with piercing lips.

"Emanglah the Bangor, too high prestige," muttered Danish with a whisper. Badrina did not hear that sentence, she was busy thinking.

"You don't feel like you're getting divorced, Shaka's changing?" danish asked, staring at the mother-of-one girl's face to ascertain her feelings for her ex-husband.

"There's... Shaka's changed" said Badrina. Danish was interested in Badrina's confession, so he straightened his body to pay more attention at this time.

"Forwardly.. How does it change?" dig Danish with curious twinkle.

"Paska got divorced, we even fought more when we met," Badrina lamented the silliness of their debate. "Till this morning to me, it's still Tom and Jerry fashion. Tired," he added with a twitching forehead signifying discomfort.

Danish shook his head to hear Badrina's words, even to the point of pulling his own forehead. He felt as if there was a fog of conflict that enveloped the ex-husband and wife.

"You and Arshaka from the beginning of marriage often quarrel? How the hell did you get to meet and be a husband and wife?" search Danish enthusiastically.

Badrina squinted at Danish. The man scratched his head. "A. I asked to see why you can be like Tom and Jerry" said Danish.

There was silence between them. Danish was still observing Badrina, just in case the woman still wanted to continue her words.

"Robber storm after Canta was born. But, I didn't say because Canta triggered a commotion huh. I am tired and tired of living my marriage with him... Shaka is getting less attention, home office like-minded. sometimes go home sometimes not, stay in the apartment or at home mom. I often blame myself when we fight. My emotions became affected, unstable and yes, irritable" Badrina said heavily, recalling her past. Every now and then Badrina chuckled, laughing at herself that short wick.

"Shaka wasn't entirely wrong, Dan. I'm the one who can't be stronger, '" he regretted with tears at the end of his eyes. He rubbed it rough. However, instead of stopping, tears flooded his cheeks.

Badrina sat down with a bowed position at will, her fingers pressing against each other alternately showing deep uneasiness of heart. The air felt increasingly cold piercing the skin, Badrina occasionally pulled the blanket up to his shoulder, even though the temperature was not added.

Danish held out a plastic containing dry tissue. The woman quickly grabbed him, wiped away by the tears on her cheeks that broke unbearably.

Danish who sat beside the bed, stood touching and rubbed Badrina's shoulders.

"Sobbly," said Danish quietly almost inaudible.

Badrina looked up at Danish who had pity on her. She shed a strong cry, after a long time always affirming herself as women must appear strong.

Danish pulled Badrina into his arms. Thank goodness the room care Badrina VIP so that no sound of crying until out of the room.

"I'm tired of Danish. Shaka never cared for me, Aunt Poppy, nor did my cousin. I'm alone. Only Cantara became my friend, but he was still so small to know all this," he said not so clearly while sobbing.

Danish rubbed the back of his little friend. He does know how Poppy and Badrina's cousin behave.

"Pronounce," he said again.

"Now my Tante wants me to be close to Hafez. Shaka said 'that man had many children without marriage ties', Auntie said 'he was a widower whose wife had died, no children'. I don't know which one I can trust," she cried again Badrina was worried.

"I want to die, Danish." The swab on Badrina's back stopped. Danish gasped, his body goosebumps hearing Badrina's words.

"But I remember my daughter, Cantara. Who will love him when I am no longer alive? My mother left me depressed, I don't know Canta's mental state, will I be as alone as I will be?" badrina looked to the future. Her cries slowly stopped, tired of Badrina wishing to be loved.

Danish broke her embrace. He sat down again, his right hand holding Badrina's fingers.

"You are a strong woman" praised Danish, smiling wryly as she remembered Badrina's life of grief, unloved by those closest to her.

Badrina laughed wryly. "If I may choose, I'd rather be weak and not feel all this bitterness from childhood, Danish."

"I don't know what it's like to be loved. To the extent that I was confused to express affection for my daughter. He's often my emotional samsak, I've regretted it...." Badrina again sobbed in memory of Cantara.

Danish took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"It's. if Arshaka...." Danish stammered, he said. He hesitated, gulped and asked, "When Arshaka asked for a referral not because of Canta?"

The words made the two of them shrouded in silence and sat face to face. Not only Badrina and Danish, there was someone who had been stunned to hear their conversation.