When You Think Wrong
The Messy Mood

I wept. It hurt so much I knew and heard what Tomi said to her mother. Flashing all the prejudice in my head as I digest Naya's words earlier. And from there began my logic spread everywhere, forming a long narrative that became a free essay

My logic began to run, but my heart and feelings were dominant. While sobbing I continued to feel that what Naya said was true, otherwise Tomi would not have let the four of us go when she knew that Joseph was still crying. And Tomi knew very well that I was pregnant, but she had no intention of catching up or just calling, asking how Joseph was. Have I reached the hospital or not.

But the truth is Tomi stayed home without the slightest pursuit or at least offer his services to take Joseph to the hospital, anyway I brought this son. Not someone else's child

“Sweetie this is all a mistake. I can explain it to you and Naya..”.

I still do not care what Tomi says, I who have been hurt by her behavior coupled with her mother's accusations, increasingly disappointed me.

Tomi's hand that kept me patis finally made her only able to fall silent, while I continued to cry nonstop.

“Your message did not overtake us, apparently that's what you think we are, good huh Tom. Finally open also a false guise you” said me while rubbing my face rough

Tomi took a deep breath, then she turned her head towards me who still looked sobbing.

“Please do not baper Din. Don't put me in a difficult position..” Wiry

I quickly sat down next to Joseph, crawling up and coming down from the bed

“Tough position you said?. Hard in what part?. I told you this was all a misunderstanding, your mother just didn't understand. There's no way I'm calling Adi first. You know better how I feel than Adi. But your mother accused me of not-”

“Iya sorryin ibuk Din. Naturally I suspect, mas Adi is your ex-husband, so why also until now he still keeps calling you”

I raised my head and took a deep breath

“If time could I turn back, of course I will not receive incoming calls from the new number” regretted I was sitting a little far from Tomi

Tom is silent, and so am I. Then suddenly I remembered Naya's words again, so I immediately turned my head and looked quickly at Tomi

“What did you say to your mother?. I understand Naya, she can't be angry with people if she doesn't have strong proof”

Tomi was still silent, looking as if she took a deep breath as she raised her head to hear my question. For a minute, five minutes Tomi still didn't make a sound to explain to me, so I got back upset with her

“Means what Naya said is true. If you never thought of me. You hypocrite Tom, I thought you were a good man. Turns out I was wrong. I should have realized that I meant nothing to you. If I was a priority for you, there's no way you used to cheat on me and fuck other women until you got married”

“This is the stupid one that's me. Why can I trust someone who has betrayed me. Stupid jerk. Dinda, dinda. Why would you marry a man who betrayed you” I said with a bitter laugh, laughing at my own stupidity. While Tomi who heard me speak like that only looked at me with a sad face

“I'm really sincere Din loves you. Love you so much, said Tomi next after a long time he looked at me who back sobbed

“We are almost two years married, and this is the first quarrel for us. But I think this is enough to prove who you really are Tom”

“Ya Alloh Din I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you hurt”

I shook Tomi's hand again, choosing to get up from the edge of the bed and go into the bathroom. Finished from the bathroom I immediately turned off the lights and climbed back into the bed. I immediately lay down next to Joseph and closed my eyes, not caring about how Tomi was still sitting on the edge of the bed with her eyes fixed on me

I woke up quickly because all night I had been thinking about what I was going to do next. Routines that used to be done by mbak Sri I did all this morning. So that when my two children wake up, they have my provisions prepared, as well as breakfast

There was no greeting between me and my mother-in-law. I was silent as he stared intently at me who was lifting the basket of clothes I had dried. Likewise when I swept the floor, I again did not care about his gaze.

“Sayang left from today sama ibuk ya.....” I said to my two children when they were having breakfast.

“You're the one with the kids? We usually go together, replied Tomi after she turned to her mother

“Ngak what. My son let me take care of it, I don't want to trouble others” I replied casually without turning my head at Tomi

“Wait for mom, mom, take a shower first. After that we leave” I said as I passed from the dining table and walked towards the front, towards my room

“Dinda wait!!!”

I don't care about Tomi walking after me. I just kept going into the room and grabbed the towel

“Dinda wait!!!” tomi jolts at my hand

I boldly looked my face at her, looking at her face with a sharp look

“What did you mean to say that earlier?”

I smiled cynically at Tomi's words then I waved my hand in front of her face

“Hello, they are my children. So it's natural dong if I say it”

After saying that, I went straight into the bathroom and left Tomi sitting on the edge of the bed. Not long time spent in the bathroom, after finishing I immediately dry my body with a towel and then immediately change clothes

“Please Din do not childish rich gini. Don't exaggerate the problem. It's just a misunderstanding. I can explain to my mother about your relationship with Adi. And I will also explain to Naya what I mean yesterday”

I who was polishing my face with powder stopped the movement of my hand and turned towards Tomi

“So it's true what Naya said yesterday? Heemmmm....” I replied with a cynical smile.

“No need to explain anything with your mother. He also knows the same as me. I'm simple Tom, people hate it already, want to be flanked? I want to explain it free too. He would not believe it. I took Joseph for treatment while he crawled. Don't-don't-don't you also as rich your mother, do not believe in the same I” answered me while grabbing the bag and do not forget to bring the medicine that I bought last night at the pharmacy

“Oh yes, from today do not need to send food to the office again. I can buy myself” I continued while taking the car keys I put last night in the drawer

Then I lifted up Joseph's body and brought him out of the room. In the front room there was mbak Sri who seemed to talk to Naya. And both of them turned and fell silent when they saw me coming out of the room

“Mbak, everything is in order. Well even though it's a little I haven't done. Ma'am focused on taking care of Yusuf, homework so that later after coming from the office I finish”, I said while giving Joseph to him

Ma'am Sri patted and immediately kissed Yusuf's face

“I leave ya mbak, titip Yusuf”

Sister Sri nodded, then I turned for a while towards my mother-in-law

“I leave buk...” My speech. I walked without waiting for an answer from him.

I walked straight to the garage and went straight into my car which I had heated the engine first. My two children also got into the car, then we got out of our big house and headed straight for the highway

Along the way to school, my two children did not ask me a single question about my situation, maybe they understood if I was currently angry. When they got off, as was my custom, I kissed their faces as they got out of the car

I just ran the car slowly. Taking a deep breath, and suddenly the tightness ambushed my chest. I pulled my car over, and put my face on the steering wheel, and then I sobbed