Winter in Hokkaido
Chapter 9: The Memory

I woke up when Uncle knocked on my door many times. My head hurts with a shivering body.

“You're sick, Ken?” greet Uncle with a question when I open the door.

“Ngak, Uncle. Ken is okay,” I replied weakly.

“You're so pale, Ken? Are you really okay? Uncle get breakfast first then?”

“Nevent gone, Uncle. Ken to the resto. Get changed and wash your face first. Uncle has breakfast?”

“Not yet. Precisely Uncle wants to invite you to breakfast together.”

My steps were heavy towards the restaurant. The body feels weak and the head hurts so much. Seeing food I don't taste.

“Ken, your body temperature is very hot,” said Uncle after touching my forehead.

You have a fever?”

I just nodded. Even to speak of my energy as being exhausted.

Then, Uncle asked one of the servants to support me back into the room. I don't know where my energy is being absorbed.

“Mayumi's phone first yes.” Uncle took out his cell phone from his pants pocket.

“Don't Uncle, he's in Tokyo.”

“When? How come you didn't tell Uncle?”

“Yesterday morning Ken said borrow Uncle's car to take Mayumi to the airport.”

“Oh yes, Uncle forgot. Understandably old. Uncle contact the doctor first let me come here to check your condition.”

I'll approve. After all, I really feel so weak.

After calling the doctor, Uncle looked at the window. “Ken, you slept all night with the window open and the AC on?”

I pretended not to listen and closed my eyes.

“Ken!!” Uncle sounded a little angry.

“Ken forgot to close it.”

“When Mayumi gets home? Uncle wants to ask for help he takes care of you,” asked Uncle while pulling a blanket to cover my body.

“Uncle, he's having an event. Ken doesn't know when he's coming home. Never mind, Ken just needs a break,” I replied grimacing.

I don't want Uncle to call Mayumi. I don't want him to feel like I need him. It will create circumstances like I give you hope.

“Ya. Let Uncle alone take care of you,” concluded Uncle.

While waiting for the doctor to arrive, Uncle kept massaging my legs. I said no need, but he asked me to be quiet.

Not long after the doctor came. She swiftly checked me. He said I had a fever and had symptoms of hypothermia. The doctor also advised me not to turn on the AC.

“Ken... Ken.. Potang-petang previously lived in a tropical country, even winter you still turn on the AC. Winter here is different from the rainy season there. In Jakarta, despite the rain but the air in the room is still hot,” Uncle chirp.

“Im sorry Ken, Uncle!”

***

Two days I was sick. Aunty had intended to fly here to take care of me. However, I made sure my condition was fine. Just need a few days rest.

Aunt was quite anxious to hear that I was sick. He still insisted on coming. In fact, I know he's also very busy in Tokyo. Enough alot give confidence to Auntie if I'm okay.

On the other hand, Uncle told Mayumi I was sick. It made him keep calling me, even he was planning to go back to Hokkaido. Luckily I was also able to convince him if all I needed was a break. I don't want to interrupt the show. His arrival will also make me unable to rest properly. Uncle really wanted me to stay with Mayumi.

During the illness, Uncle wouldn't let me into the hotel. After being examined by the doctor at that time, I was immediately taken home. Pretty boring! My mind is not filled with anything else. There was nothing I could talk to all day except Uncle or Aunt who called, and also Mayumi. The contents of the conversation with the three of them were not much different, asking me what my condition was, what my activities were, and then reminding me to eat and drink medicine. I'm lucky to have people who care so much about me. But I can't deny there's a great expectation that that attention is coming from Dave, too.

Perhaps this is because more than half of my teenage years have been spent with him. The taste we named as bromance, but now I find it hard to name it again.

I never felt selfish. I was sincere when Dave told him he was getting married. He never told me when to date his wife. Maybe it was due to our condition separated long enough between Bali-Jakarta. Communication was hampered, because I had to take care of Mom, then Dad. While Dave may be busy with work and prospective life companion at that time.

I thought, Dave is married, he's got a new life, but I'm still his bromance. Maybe our friendship can't be as intimate as it used to be, but we remain two friends who bond so closely.

We don't show any affection in the public. During college, we were often teased as a couple, because going and going home was always together. However, it was only temporary. We showed that we were friends, not dating.

We spent more time in my apartment. We often joke around until we kiss each other on the cheeks and throw hugs. Surprisingly, I felt my cock tense when in direct contact with Dave. That's where I started to feel like there was lust. However, once I realized it would be fatal to let the taste grow. I think the normal thing when the vital tool is touched, it will give a response. It can happen to anyone.

Gradually, I kind of wanted Dave more than a best friend. That's why I try to keep my distance. Not to stay away, but not to respond too much to every attention with taste.

Dave's nature is the opposite of mine. He was easy to get along with, while I was very quiet. He's very nice and friendly. He is also known to be so considerate by classmates or who know him. Yes, he has many friends, although more time is spent with me. So, when he paid attention to me, I tried to escape the doctrine of excessive taste.

I tried to shake the feeling, but instead he was getting attached. I tried to stay away when the vibrations I felt were unnatural, but he was getting more and more intensely attacked with attention. So, is this all my fault? On the other hand, Dave kept bombarding me with attention I never got outside.

That's why I'm trying to keep my distance from Mayumi as well. I don't want him to have the same experience as me. Feeling always cared for, but ultimately abandoned. Because the taste is only limited to friends, not deep love to be together as a couple.

***

Psychologically, a sick mind will trigger a sick body. But medically, a sick body will affect the performance of the mind to be not optimal. Whatever it is, the pain is not good even though it gets a lot of attention.

“Ken, did Mayumi tell you when she was coming home?” asked Uncle, who had been to how many times always appeared surprising, and always when I was struggling with visitor data on the computer screen.

“No.”

“Hem...” Uncle threw a code. “Didn't you call him?” Exactly as I expected. Uncle was actually pragmatically trying to get me to make contact with Mayumi.

“No,” I replied sparingly while showing if I was focusing on that job.

“What's there she's okay huh?!” Uncle glanced at me while playing his lips and frowned like a person who was anxious or thinking hard.

“Why didn't Uncle just call him?” I hope Uncle doesn't bother me.

Uncle then turned around while attaching the phone to his ear.

“Halo Mayumi, how are you?” greet Uncle loudly. It was so intentional that I listened to their conversation. Though talking on the phone does not have to echo like that. “Ken said he misses talking to you. He was just shy to call you first,” added Uncle while suddenly sticking his phone into my ear. I couldn't resist, because the movement was so fast.

“Hai, Ken. Is your condition restored?” greet Mayumi.

“I..iya.” I felt awkward because I didn't want to talk to him. “I've started working.”

“Thank God then. Take care of your health, Ken!”

“Iya.”

I was the one chatting on the phone, but it was Uncle who looked anxious. He also kept teaching me to ask when he would come home.

“When are you home?” I couldn't see Uncle's mouth telling me to say those words.

“Maybe 3 or 4 more days, Ken. Why?”

Uncle stuck his phone to my ear while he held it, then he also tried to eavesdrop. Hem, why aren't you guys loudspeaker?!

“No.” Because it's not a question from my brain so I don't know what feedback to give.

Uncle then removed his phone from my ear and went back to talking to Mayumi. “Ken says later if you want to go home tell him. He'll pick you up at the airport. He is currently focused on his work. So it may be quite difficult stringing the word.” Uncle, then, go.

I wanted to say that Uncle shouldn't be acting too much on my behalf to Mayumi, but I'm afraid he's offended. I'll explain it to Mayumi straight away. I think Mayumi will be more chesty.

I'm not trying to open my heart to women. But I don't want to make it an impingement, forcing dishonesty into a relationship.

Yesterday's memory is open again. In addition to calling me gay, Fay's words that judge me lie by making a friendship shield to always be with Dave always ringing in my brain. Is that as low as I am in his eyes? Though I wouldn't have approached back if Dave hadn't returned my presence.

Huh, but blaming others is not a wise way. I am the guilty one. Everything's my fault. I can't fortify the taste by identifying each type. I was too stupid to lean in just one place. I made a world of over 7 billion people look like it was just me and Dave. Or just me and loneliness. My world outside may be as big as a parakeet cage.

Hah, I'm losing concentration. I decided to go out for a moment looking for a focus that had flown.