Winter in Hokkaido
Chapter 6: The Hope

I want to call Dave. This may be the last time. Yeah, I'm steady to go and settle in Japan. Forgetting all the memories, leaving all the bitterness. There's no other choice. I don't want to be my best friend's house destroyer.

I spent half an hour on my phone screen. No. gabe. Dave's been telling me a couple of times not to call him again. I put my phone in my pants pocket.

It never occurred to me that my friendship with Dave would be like this. I must be willing to forget him. This is all probably because of my fault too. I was too naive to think it would still be the same as before. In fact, everyone will experience a change when they find something new. Whether it is a change in attitude or behavior. I have to accept.

Fay's right too, I can't be selfish. I can't possibly be in this circle, because he looks so hateful to me. He even said I was an abnormal man.

Never mind. I don't want to think about that much anymore. Things that are difficult to just do, let go of habits that have been passed together. However, I have to move on and move on with life better. Forget about Dave, though it'll be harder than ever.

My first step to moving on was to get out of the apartment. For days locked in darkness and hope. It's like coming out of a cave. Looking at the city in the sunlight. Maybe it's a signal to me to start a new life.

I decided to go to a fast-food chicken restaurant about 100 meters from my apartment. The feet feel lighter. All inner struggles are submerged by hunger.

Two slices of crispy chicken with one serving of rice seduces my taste buds. Drink it, one cup Pepsi size large.  This is my favorite menu, and so is Dave.

Hah, why did he appear again in my mind?! My stomach seemed to be half filled. Food that was originally tempting, as if turned into a display.

I kept breathing deeply. Take out the air about Dave so I can feel the pleasure of dining. Suddenly the sound of the phone surprised me.

I think Dave called. Again, it was very difficult not to expect his presence.

It turned out that Auntie in Tokyo called.

“Halo, Ken. How are you?” His voice sounded very enthusiastic.

“Good news, Aunty,” I replied.

Sometimes I call her Auntie, sometimes also with the Japanese term for aunty that is Obasan. But it's been more used to calling Auntie since I was growing up.

Bibi is quite fluent in Indonesian, because she used to live in Indonesia for several years. My uncle in Hokkaido did too.

“Ken, said you would Hokkaido yes?”

At first, I was surprised that Auntie could know my plan. Oh right, Uncle must have told Auntie right away after I sent her a message.

“Iya, Bi. The plan is Ken this week to Uncle.” I was a little confused to answer.

“Why didn't Ken tell Aunty?” Aunt's voice was slightly raised even louder. “Do Ken not want to go to Bibi?”

I'm sure Auntie would say that. From her tone of voice, Aunt looked disappointed. Ah, I don't want Aunt to misunderstand.

“Auntie, Ken must be going to Auntie's. It's just, maybe Ken went to where Uncle used to be huh, Bi.”

My plan from the beginning was to go to Uncle's place first. The atmosphere in Uncle's place was more suitable to calm down. Although the last time I was there when I was 7 years old, but every year Uncle always routinely sends photos of the atmosphere there. Uncle never tired of teasing me with vacation packages at his hotel. However, I also never ran out of words to reject Uncle's offer.

While visiting Bibi in Tokyo, almost every year I do. Only the last two years haven't been there with the disaster that's been on me.

“Ken, Aunty misses Ken. Before going to Uncle's, Ken's transiting first in Tokyo. Stay a few nights here yes.”

“Emmm.. Yes, Bi.” I seem to have to follow Aunt's advice.

“What date is Ken here? Let Auntie book the ticket!” Aunt's voice sounded enthusiastic again. Thank goodness!

“Ken still hasn't decided the date, Bi. Maybe this week or as soon as the preparation to get there is done.” Although steady to Japan, but I did not specify the date of departure. I'm planning to take care of the visa tomorrow morning. “Later Ken order alone, Bi.”

“Ken...” His tone of call made me resigned.

“Good, Bi. Thank you very much.”

“Ken don't need to speak thank you. Aunt always waits for Ken here. As soon as Auntie waits for the exact date yes, Ken.”

“Iya, Bi.”

The brief conversation with Aunt over the phone left me a little confused. I have to come to Aunt's place in top condition. Otherwise, Auntie, like Mom, will continue to explore my life. I don't want to tell Auntie, I just don't want her to worry. I'm an adult. I should have solved my own problems.

I don't think my food is warm. The AC blow makes it cool faster. I also lost my appetite.

“Sorry Ma'am, the food can be wrapped.” I decided to go home and ask for food to be wrapped.

“Could certainly, Sir. Wait a minute!” The waiter complied with my request. I feel ashamed of it.

Originally, I wanted to leave behind the food that had not been bitten in the slightest. However, I was worried that the food was thrown away by the waiter in charge of cleaning. Wouldn't it be better to just take it home?! If I'm hungry, I can heat the food in the microwave.

***

All the clothes I needed were packed into a suitcase. I didn't bring all my clothes, as necessary. Although trying to leave all the memories here, but the future who knows. Yesterday I was probably just too late in emotions. Desire can change at any time.

My main goal in Japan is not to become a citizen there, but to forget about Dave. So, I still need a place to go, don't I?! Let time and circumstances lead me to where I should spend the rest of my life.

Just got in a taxi to the airport, Bibi called. At first I was hoping Dave. My mind is still ridiculous.

“Ken, already heading to the airport?”

“Iya, Bi. Ken just got in a cab.”

“You be careful yes. Call Auntie for boarding. Don't forget to eat! Continue while on the plane, you sleep and ask for an extra blanket to the flight attendant.” Aunt is worried about me. Just like Mom, I sometimes think they forget I'm an adult. This situation makes me miss Mom.

“Iya, Bi. Thank you.” I don't know what else to say but that sentence.

“Aibi has decorated the room for you. What food do you want to prepare, Ken?” Aunt sounded excited about preparing for my arrival.

“Auntie, Ken this is not a president who needs to be greeted with exaggeration. Ken didn't even bring anything as a handpiece for Auntie.”

“Ken wants to come here alone has become a valuable hand for Aunty. Aunt pick you up at airport.”

“Auntie, Ken can take a taxi to Bibi's place. Ken still knows the way.” I don't want to trouble Auntie.

“Ya already then. Aunt wait, Ken. Have a safe flight!” Aunt hung up the phone.

All the way to the airport, I kept thinking. Should I tell Dave if I'm leaving? Had Fay known, this would have been an affirmation of their desire that I would no longer be present in their household.

I opened the WhatsApp app, then searched Dave's name on the contact. When I was about to write a message, I had a very hard time stringing up a parting word. When I could, I doubted the words would be acceptable to Dave. I deleted it, then rearranged it word by word. Keep it that way. Until the taxi driver said I had arrived at terminal 2F Soekarno Hatta Tangerang Airport, Banten. Journey begins.

After checking in, I tried to re-type letter by letter intended for Dave. But someone nudged me until my phone dropped.

“Oh sorry Mas, I accidentally. Sorry Mas, sorry!” said a mother while trying to pick up my phone that was thrown far enough and almost hit by a trolley of other airport visitors.

“Iya. It's okay, Ma.”

She kept holding my hand and apologizing. I said it's okay, my phone is fine. I haven't checked it yet.

It's my fault also that I stand between the traffic of the people who are about to go to this checkout counter. Things like this don't need to be a fuss.

I'm trying to be sincere if my phone breaks. However, then, my phone lit up as usual. I'm also pretty relieved.

The fall of my phone made me lose the desire to send a message to Dave. I've forgotten and become lazy to string the word back. Perhaps this is the wisdom behind this incident. Let it be, if Dave cares, he should try to reach me. I realize my position right now.

I boarded a Garuda Indonesia flight on a direct flight to Tokyo. The selected clock at night, so that I can sleep while on the plane. Travel time from Seokarno Hatta to Tokyo 7 hours 5 minutes. I flew at 21.45 WIB and will land there at around 06.50 JST (Japan Standard Time). There is a time difference of 2 hours faster JST than WIB. Yes, the time in Japan is the same as the time in Eastern Indonesia Region or WIT (GMT +9).

While in the air, the aircraft suffered several shocks. At first I was afraid of turbulence. But fortunately, only ordinary shocks due to wind and weather movements. Even so, I had trouble sleeping. Though I hope all the way can sleep and wake up when the pilot informed the plane is about to land.

The plane landed at Haneda International Airport. Cold weather ambushed as it descended the stairs. The rare snow welcomes me.

I rushed to the taxi booking. However, I heard someone calling me. I tried to ascertain the sound while searching for the direction of the source. As per deugaan, Auntie came to pick me up.

I said I didn't need to be picked up. But Aunt came with a man.

I see, that man is not Aunt's husband. Not Aunt Keigo's son.

Aunty hugged me tightly as soon as I was nearby. “Aunt kangen at all kamu”, he said haru.

I feel a little awkward hugging Auntie. I subtly tried to let go. “Auntie, Ken already said no need to be picked up.”

“Come quickly get on the car. You must be tired.”

I'm trying to watch the guy with Auntie. As I looked towards the man, he bowed his head while greeting in Japanese. I also returned my greetings by bowing my body. In Japan, when you meet other people or friends, you bend your body as a greeting.

“This is Mr. Takuma, the driver of Bibi.” Aunt understands my curious gait.

Along the way, Auntie didn't stop telling stories. He was very excited to welcome me. This is normal because Auntie lives alone more often. Uncle Yamamoto, Aunt's husband, a skipper. He only came home for the new year. While Keigo, my cousin, Aunt's only son, was in secondary education at Todaiji Gakuen High School in Nara.

Said Bibi, the High School is one of the best High School in Japan. By attending there, Bibi hopes Keigo can continue his education to the best university in Japan as well. Despite the stakes, Bibi must be willing to live far away from her baby. But every two weeks or once a month, your aunt took the time to look at Keigo who lives in the dorm.

Bibi said Nara is the capital of Nara Prefecture, which borders Kyoto Prefecture. The city now called Nara is to the North of Nara Prefecture, or right at the North end of the Nara River Valley.  Perfektur itself means administrative region and first-level jurisdiction. Simply put, the term is the same as the province in Indonesia. In Japan there are 47 different types. More than in Indonesia which currently has 34 provinces.

While the distance from Tokyo to Nara is about 5 hours using car transportation. Ah, as Bibi explained about the geography of the country of Japan, at this time I can only nod, because I have not been so familiar with the country with a very high level of discipline of its citizens.

After a half-hour journey, he finally arrived at his home.

“Ken, Aunty has prepared food for you”.

“Thank you, Bi.”

After eating, Auntie asked me to rest. However, I prefer to help open a flower shop that he managed since 5 years ago.

“Let Ken alone bring these flowers outside,”.

“Ken don't feel jet-lagged travel long?”

“Instead Ken needs to move so that the influence is lost.”

“Ken, Aunty still feels like your dream here.”

“Bibi..” I tried to hold back his novelty.

***

I've been staying at Aunt's house for three days. At first, they just want to transit, then go to Hokkaido. I need a calm natural atmosphere immediately.

“Aibi, how many hours by train from here to Uncle's place? The plan is tomorrow Ken to there,” my question while sorting the withered and fresh flowers.

“You don't want any longer at Bibi's place?”

“Ken also misses Uncle, Bi,”, I replied.

Auntie looked at me as if she couldn't believe the statement I just made. I almost never said I missed them. If I say my main purpose is to see the scenery in Hokkaido to calm down, Bibi will interrogate me.

“What if a few more days stay here, Ken? Taking the train there was a long time ago. Later Bibi book plane tickets only.”

“Auntie, Ken doesn't want to trouble Aunty continue,” subtly reject me.

“Ken..” Aunt looked at me with a smile.

“Auntie, Ken will be long in Japan. Ken can come back here.”

“Thank God, Aunty was happy to hear it,” said Bibi by stroking the chest, as if there was relief. “But Ken is doing fine, right?’

It seems like my statement made Aunt quite suspicious. I also tried to neutralize it with a small laugh.

“It looks like outside there is a visitor, Bi.” It's fortunate that a visitor thwarted Bibi's mission to interrogate me.

“After Aunty see, Ken.” My aunt rushed to see the visitor.

Not long after, my aunt called. “Ken, can you please bring me a rose bucket.”

“Good, Bi.”

There are 3 visitors this week. From the looks of it, they were like high schoolers. I heard Aunt talking to them in a local language that I did not understand.

Aunty and the three female students saw me several times. I feel a little awkward. Even more so when suddenly one of them approached.

“O niichan, watashi wa anato to issho ni shashin o toru koto ga dekimasu ka?”

I turned to Auntie, not understanding what the girl was saying to me. However, Auntie nodded instead. I'm getting clueless.

Auntie doesn't understand the code I threw. “What did he say, Bi?”

“Oh...” Aunty laughed for a while, then translated the words of the girl. “He wants to take your first photo, Ken.”

That light surprised me. I had time to subtly refuse, because I thought the girls were mistaken. I'm not an artist. Aunty also explained that they knew that I was not an artist, but they still wanted to take pictures with me. Once clear, I also serve the wishes of Aunt's customers.

Aunty kept smiling looking at me after the girls left.

“You've got a girlfriend, Ken?”

I can only answer with a confused face. Aunt's question surprised me enough.

“If only you stayed here surely Bibi's flower shop is getting in demand,”.

“Later Ken will help develop Bibi store,” I said smilingly.

“Aunt is lucky to have a handsome nephew like you, Ken.” Aunty made a compliment while pinching both of my cheeks. I'm glad to see Aunt cheerful.