LOVE IN TASBIH DETAILS
CHAPTER 34. BACK TO THE STARTING POINT

Bram stepped over with gontai, towards the abah house.

One thing he wanted to do, this morning to meet my brother, after a night of lying in his room, with open eyes staring at the ceiling of his bedroom.

A few days ago after seeing how Diah was picked up by Doddy, he went home to the house where he and Diah lived.

Each inch of the house seemed to tell a lot of things, although not many memories he had, but the less he scratched from the corner of his memory, the more his heart ached.

Bram felt a tremendous heartbreak, the regret and pain was raging. He hoped to bring himself back to their home, making him calm again. But strangely, jealousy, the sense of loss is becoming more and more.

He went back to zero, lost hope for the second time and it felt so painful.

If in the past when angry, upset, hurt then he would run at a night club or pub to calm his soul but now in the void of all the sentences that Abah said as if appearing on the surface of his memory, prevent him from being tempted into all those soothing sins.

"You want peace? You seek where the best place to settle every problem is, let's put your forehead on the ground, talk to Him and reveal all your heart's content, regret it with the heart's solemn intention to repent"

The words at the beginning of his jump made his feet fixate on the prayer mat, saying his istigfar trembling.

"Son, crying doesn't mean being crybaby, weak, fragile and vulnerable. Every creature of God has the right to cry whether male or female, children, old or adult. That it is He Who makes man laugh and weep."

As she tried to hold back the tears, the sentence made her realize to release the tightness in her chest in all her do'a-do.

"Yes, Allah.Why is it so painful to see Diah with others, I can hardly bear it. Why do You awaken me to this love when I have released it. Why would Diah lie to me if all this time he had accepted the man? Supposedly give me a little signal so that I may move away from him.Give me a sign, O God, that I may bury this feeling deeply before. I really feel sick..."

Bram wailed shamelessly in front of God, releasing the tightness that was squeezing his chest.

"I know it's God's worth what I've done to him in the past, but isn't there a way to fix everything?"

Today he decided to come again to Abah in search of his strength, hoping that every sentence from Abah would restore his strength to look forward again.

His soul is fragile, the temptation of sin is peeping at him in his fragility. Only the verses of God allow him to no longer step into the path of honey but thorny on his tread first with pleasure.

"Assalamu’alaikum..." Bram's voice sounded raucous. He arrived at his house when the clock showed at 07.10 WIB. Still morning. He awoke at dawn and prayed in the room that was once his room with Diah, before deciding that going to Abah was the best for him now.

The house with the door closed was quiet.

"Assalamu’alaikum..." Bram repeated his greeting.

There is no lawfulness.

Bram reached into his cell phone from his pocket. He remembers keeping Aisyah's mobile number, though he never once called her.

The door suddenly creaked. Aisha's pale face poked out from behind the door. His eyes looked at Bram with a flash of astonishment, as if he was waiting for the man in front of him in an indescribable anxiety.

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