LOVE IN TASBIH DETAILS
CHAPTER 5. FAILURE OF THE PAST

Bram looked at the disheveled face of his mother, the woman who, if Bram had observed it carefully, had aged faster than he should. The burden of life is like squeezing it so deep, hiding the smile that should be plastered on the surface of the face of an aged woman known to Bram was so patient to face it all along.

How not, for years Bram lived relying on his parents to support his family while he himself wandered in the mud of his sin with Sally, who was, he was busy having an affair with his former lover in his youth and did not care at all how the child and his wife were handled by both parents.

Fortunately, their lives are prosperous even though his father is a retired head of the Department in a government agency but still runs his CV, becoming a contractor even though he is quite old. His mother also has several Bakery shops that he pioneered from the time Bram was young, Bram is also lucky their family is famous as the owner of several boarding houses and guesthouses, their real family assets. Those efforts that help Diah and his children remain enough even though left behind by Bram does not know where the jungle.

Bram used to be a fairly successful stockbroker but now the only tertiary of it is bankruptcy and destruction. Bram has lost everything, especially after the death of his first child Benny and his divorce from his wife, Diah.

“Diah doesn't stay in your house anymore?” Asked Mama Bram, his eyes could not be separated on Bram who was sitting on a chair facing the same dining table as the mother.

He's been staying at his parents' house this week. After the events of that night that made his life completely change, precisely after he left Sally's apartment and watched how the lover who was about to be proposed that night was betraying her in a disgusting way in front of his own eyes, Bram felt that the purpose of his life was no longer purposeful.

He felt hurt not only his heart but his pride as a man, Sally had truly humiliated him in an incredible way. The events of that night were not something that could be forgotten.

“Diah has been almost a month now, no longer living there.” Bram replied awkwardly, the old eye really felt judgmental of him, as if to peel off his every mistake.

“You told him to go or...?” That sentence hangs.

“I've told him to stay but he insists on moving to the boss's apartment where he works.” Bram grabs the tea glass from the top of the tray, pouring the tea from the glass pitcher there.

“The house is not the house of you two, it's the house of your son Bella, mom and dad gave it first to your son.” Those words sounded piercing.

Bram did not make a sound, he drank tea from his glass with a single sip. The tea is no longer hot. Like his heart that suddenly felt cold and empty.

“Mama never approved of your divorce. Even until this moment, mama still thinks that this is all just a joke.”mama Bram does not take his gaze away from Bram.

“I know...” Bram said short, he had heard dozens of times his mother repeated this sentence, as long as he was in this house but Bram did not try to rub it. Bram has no words to simply argue or calm the mother. As Bram knew, all this time his mother was willing to do anything to cover all the obligations that Bram had never done in terms of supporting his family financially, in order to maintain his household.

For months Bram had left home, running away with his girlfriend Sally from her marriage abroad. They live there, live spending Bram's money until his account is not left. He has bothered to be wise@n by risking all his life.

Regretted? I don't know! Bram until now did not even find the right words to describe his feelings now.

“You have wasted your wife, you have sacrificed your son. And what do you get now out of all your fun? You happy? You satisfied..?” The old eyes were misty, his lips were trembling. She has not been able to take Diah and Bram's divorce for granted.

“For many years, it was my mother who tried to make Diah stay even though she had been so hard on him that she turned a blind eye to all your betrayal of him. Not just once, but many times, Bram. Mama has held him hostage so as not to leave you, but you easily let him go.”

 "Forcing Diah to stay, not only makes my sins multiply but will also make mama and papa look bad.”

“What do you mean? You want to say that mama was wrong against your divorce?” The old eye was rounded, seeming to stiffen between his pines of sadness.

Bram did not answer, his head held up straight.

“Why are you staring at mama like that?” Mama Bram looks riled up, Bram's unusual attitude, the end-is this makes Mama Bram a little confused. Usually Bram will be defiant even sometimes he will fight back the hard way, but lately after the divorce hammer was on tap, he said, Bram lived in his parents' house and locked himself in a room. Sometimes he goes early in the morning, before everyone wakes up and returns when the sun has gone up. Upon his return, he would be inside the room even sometimes just coming down from his room to eat.

So continued during this week, so that Mama Bram sometimes very difficult to be able to meet or talk to Bram.

“Mama always defends my every mistake, mama always threatens Diah not to think away from me even though mama is aware that I have hurt her many times, is not that also not true?”

“You're trying to blame mama too?”

“I do not blame you, only if we need to discuss this now, with a heavy heart I say, we have all kept Diah imprisoned for many years in the name of her status as my wife, who consciously knew that I married her was forced. He lived suffering, maybe it was because of my sin but when mom and dad never really blamed me for everything I did to Diah, didn't it also bless me for hurting Diah.”

“Bram!” Mama Bram's face flushed red, she never thought Bram could say that to her, a poignant sentence that immediately cornered her as a parent.

 “I have failed as a husband from the beginning I said Kabul ijab with Diah, I have failed to be a father since I forced Diah to abort my son, I have failed in all things. I admit it and I will be willing to take responsibility someday, because I have failed in the past.” Bram crushed his breath that was suddenly hunting.

“But the mother who always demanded me to defend Diah even though she knew it was torturing Diah, the mother who forced Diah to stay even though she knew she couldn't anymore, I'm sorry to say it, mother as an in-law also had a hand in making Diah suffer."

(This story is a backwards story from the story of Diah yes, Bram's story starts from the moment he came out of Sally's apartment and met Mr. Sharif. This incident before Diah married Doddy, within eight months Doddy again completed his S-2, without contacting Diah at all. Precisely, before Doddy proposed to Diah🙏 so that readers are not confused if in this story Diah is still a widow status🤗)

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