My husband is Acute Bucin
The Taste That Started Existing

Amanda's cries grew even more when she saw Johan, for the first time in a year they looked so close. During marriage, there is no such thing as hugs, kisses, let alone having sex, only limited to handrails. However, this time the two were seen so close that Amanda burst into her arms and let go of her crying in Johan's arms.

Johan's heartbeats pumped quickly as Amanda hugged him. That affection and care made Johan also feel sad to see the sadness of the wife who had been considered a friend. Johan lets Amanda hug him because he thinks Amanda needs a place to lean and it's only natural that she'll be where Amanda leans. I don't know where that thought came from, but that's what happened where Johan felt he had to be there for Amanda.

The hand of Johan who hugged Amanda back slowly lifted and gently rubbed Amanda's back. "What's wrong?" his hands so soft.

"Jo, it feels so crowded! My heart feels so sore. I can't accept the fact if he's gone, I believe su– I believe he's alive!" he said it was somehow difficult to say the word husband even though he usually always called Alan my husband. Amanda sobbed in Johan's arms.

"Su what? You want to tell me your husband died? I'm your husband and I'm still alive" Johan said laughing softly, deliberately looking for a way to comfort Amanda who proved to be a little less crying and smiling wistfully still with tears dripping down, staring at Johan.

"It's not you, it's her" Amanda said, making Johan smile wryly and making Amanda feel guilty. Amanda let go of her embrace and paused for a moment her cries, looking back at the grave that was in front of them.

What's wrong with me? Why am I afraid to hurt him? Why do I feel guilty about him? Inner Amanda.

He finally stopped crying!' said Johan felt a little relieved in his heart because seeing Amanda cry made his chest tight.

"What's wrong? tell me!" johan said to Amanda who had stopped her crying, even though her body was still shaking a little because of the whiff of the rest of her crying.

"I can't believe he's gone, I can't believe it much less accept all this, Jo. I can't" he said, gently rubbing the headstone.

"What makes you feel like you can't believe she's gone?" ask Amanda again.

"There are so many irregularities that I feel about all this, my heart can not believe if all this is true," replied Amanda made Johan who heard the more confused for him.

"Explain and tell me, so that I can understand it and maybe I can find a way out for all of this" Johan said heartily as if giving new hope to Amanda who heard it.

"You're gonna help me?" amanda looked in disbelief at Johan. It was between good and sad that Amanda heard that. Happy that Johan will help him, sad at the thought of what would happen if Alan was still alive? What will she do when she becomes Johan's wife.

"We're friends. Friends will help each other. Sharing is hard and happy?" johan made Amanda's face look silent.

What he said was true, but why did my heart hurt to hear it? What's wrong with me? Amanda wondered to herself.

Johan tries to calm down and smile at Amanda, although Johan looks and sounds very supportive of Amanda, but deep down there is a feeling of reluctance to do that.

"Sir, may I ask you?" johan was nervous.

Amanda nodded slowly. "Do you still love her so much?" Somehow Johan questioned that even though Johan already knew the answer, whether Johan hoped Amanda answered differently than usual.

"What would you say if I still loved her?" Amanda was hesitant to answer differently than before where she always loudly said love her husband–Alan.

"I'll decide after hearing your answer" Johan said, leaving Manda confused.

"I don't know. Whether this is love or a feeling that is not willing and can not accept his departure, I do not know. My heart just wants proof, it just wants the truth of all this. I don't have the answer before I get the truth of all this stuff" Amanda replied after a moment of silence.

Johan breathed a sigh of relief at Manda's reply, a gentle smile re-emerged on his face as his hand clasped Manda's hand. "Tell me everything, so I can help you!" her door.