My husband is Acute Bucin
Fear of Disappointing

Rizal shut the door of his study. Quickly his steps moved to a large cupboard attached to the wall, pulling out some of the books that were there. If you look at a glance, there will be nothing unusual from the closet, but if you look carefully it will look separate lines in the wooden cabinet.

Rizal shifted the barrier plan until it opened and saw a small box of secrets that Rizal had been hiding from everyone for a long time.

"I miss you so much." Three words were spoken after the hand held several pieces of wedding photos that were of him with women who came from his past.

That woman is Irene. The woman who becomes his first love, the woman who is most patient in dealing with him, the best woman and the woman he has hurt.

Rizal's memory is clear when Irene first gave the code if she already knew about Rizal's betrayal, but still gave Rizal a chance, but unfortunately Rizal was completely insensitive to the signal that Irene had given.

"Mas, why do you think someone can cheat?" asked Irene who was leaning against Rizal's arms.

"Why ask like that?" rizal asked back.

"I think all of that can happen for a lot of reasons. For example, lack of communication, lack of intensity of intimate relationships, could be due to the economy and dissatisfaction of the couple. However, of all that in my opinion most often happens because it can not keep the eyes, heart, especially trust. If you can keep your heart only for one love, then there will be no other love. If you can keep the trust of your partner, there will never be such a thing as betrayal." Rizal's body became stiff, his heart seemed to be pierced by a needle when he heard Irene's words.

"Mas, did you hear what I said?" Irene gently rubbed Rizal's face.

"Yes, I heard. Why are you talking like that?" rizal asked, trying to calm down.

"It's okay. I'm just afraid that all of that happened to us. I feel like there is no shortage of me, if there is anything less than me, please tell me so that I can be what you want me to be. Please don't ever betray me" said Irene again leaned back in Rizal's arms, nodding her head silently.

Rizal shed his tears as those memories flashed across his mind. Slowly the body slumped to the floor and leaned against the large closet.

"I miss you so much, baby. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry" she said in tears hugging the photo she had in her hand.

It has been a long time since the incident happened, but not a single bit Rizal can forget the mistakes he has made even though sometimes Rizal tried to act as innocent, as if he was not guilty, but still the guilt hurt him even more after Vani was present in his son's life.

If it had never happened, his son would not have felt the pain he now felt. Everything that happened made Rizal really increasingly blame himself for all his mistakes in the past.

***

A bright smile from Aura and her parents was seen while welcoming the arrival of the newlywed couple who had just returned home from their honeymoon.

"I don't think you guys are going home so comfortable spending time together" Aura said as they were all in the living room at Juna and Vani's residence.

Vani's face blushed to hear the words of her sister-in-law, but not with Juna.

"You guys are really after the target like him," said Aura again giggling.

"Huh? The target? Meanin?" ask Vani confused.

Aura held back the laughter of hearing Vani's question, making Vani instantly understand the meaning of her words. "Geez, it's not like that" he said embarrassedly.

"It's better if it's like that, it means mama will soon pet the grandchild," said Ajeng make Vani's face more blushing because of it.

"You guys take it easy, we will try hard so that your wishes will be realized soon" said Juna holding Vani's hand while smiling at him.

Vani is happy to hear the hope of his new family, but not Vani denied if the feeling of fear is also present. Vani was afraid that he would disappoint everyone. What if he's barren? What if he's having trouble getting offspring?

The questions came to her mind every time she saw the hopes of her husband and family who were so passionate about expecting her pregnancy.

"Ma, what if I–"

"Not good such a blessing. Mama is sure everything is fine and you will soon get offspring," said Ajeng cut a sentence he did not want to hear from Vani.

I hope so, Ma. I'm afraid to disappoint you all. Inner Vani.