The Last Love of My Life
I don't want to go back

Nadhira means so much to him, he can not let Nadhira leave him just like that, he just wants Nadhira back healthy and happy life, it was only happiness that Rifki wanted for Nadhira but he realized that he alone took that happiness from Nadhira.

As for the destruction of Rifki's feelings at this time, even the pain he felt on his back he could not feel anymore because of the pain worse than that, he said, so that the pain on his back is inferior to the pain in his heart.

"I don't deserve to live any longer Bay, I'm a cruel father and husband, why don't you just kill me now Bay, why should you treat me like this, mending you end my life at this time Bay" Rifki said arrived.

"Don't tell me it's Rif, if you're gone then how could Dhira have survived, aren't you sad to see everyone grieving over your words? The one who suffers the most will be Grandpa Arya, he has put a very big hope on you, but you just give up easily with the situation, think about the feelings of Aunt Princess too"

"Why do I continue to live in this world Bay, just end it all, I'm so tired, I can't afford to continue my life, it's too painful for me, it's too painful for me, why can't I be a good husband and father to my little family"

"It's okay but don't give up, just be patient Rif, just pray that this problem ends soon, not your life ends"

*****

Rifki and his two men immediately rushed to the hospital after finishing treating the wound on his back, Nadhira has been moved to the ICU at this time, Nadhira was moved, in front of the room there are both parents Rifki who was sitting when he saw the arrival of Rifki make the Princess directly closer to Rifki.

"How is Ma?" Ask Rifki.

"Nadhira has just had a seizure Nak, now still handled by the Doctor" said the Princess.

"What! How could Ma?" Rifki was shocked when she heard it.

"Mama also did not know Nak, suddenly Dhira had a seizure, when Mama visited him earlier Mama saw him convulsions, then Mama called the Doctor to check it"

"Oh Allah, please save Nadhira, what other test is this Ma, why should Dhira who experienced it why not just Rifki"

"Patient son, we just pray for the best for Nadhira, hopefully he's okay"

Rifki also dropped her embrace to hug the Princess' body tightly, this is the first time the Princess saw Rifki so fragile, her back vibrated indicating that her son was crying as much as he could.

"Ma, Dhira must be fine, right? Rifki's not gonna lose Nadhira, is he Ma?" Ask Rifki with a whim.

"Dhira must be fine, she's a strong woman, she'll definitely get better again"

Rifki increasingly tightened his embrace to his mother to pour out all her heart at this time, you can imagine how sad he is at this time, he is very afraid of losing the person he loves the most, he said, he also lost the child he had been waiting for.

"He hates Rifki, he will never be able to forgive Rifki, he punishes Rifki in this way Ma, Rifki is evil to him Ma, forgive Rifki because Rifki can't keep Dhira well Ma, forgive Rifki"

"Rifki is not wrong, who is patient, son, we just pray that Nadhira is okay"

Shortly after, the Doctor and the sisters who were handling Nadhira, Rifki and Putri rushed to visit them to ask Nadhira's condition.

"How's my daughter-in-law doing Doc?" Ask Princess.

"He's having a critical period, we've been trying our best but...."

"But why Doc? What happened to Dhira? Why Doc?" The question slid from Rifki's mouth with tears dripping down.

"He seemed unwilling to respond to all of us, he felt like there was no point in him living anymore, and he did not want to live again even though we had tried to help him"

"Please do something for her Doc, you should be able to save Nadhira no matter what, Nadhira should be safe" Rifki pleaded.

"Speak to him, he may listen to your words, he may respond to your words so that he will rise from his critical condition"

The two men immediately rushed to enter, but the Doctor told them only one person could enter so the Princess chose to see Nadhira first, The princess saw Nadhira's body lying weakly on the hospital bed.

The princess was sitting in the chair provided by the hospital next to Nadhira, she looked at Nadhira's face with an oxygen hose attached to her nose, the Princess kissed Nadhira forehead affectionately.

"Wake up son, tell Mama everything how you feel, you can hate Rifki but please don't leave Mama, Mama loves you very much Son, wake up for Mama, you must be strong to face everything, you must be strong to face everything, don't give up, son, please hold on, Mama,

Mama is sure that you are a strong woman, a tough woman, hold on for Mama's sake, Mama doesn't let you go Son, don't leave Mama, even though Mama isn't your birth mother but Mama loves you sincerely, wake up son, don't torture Mama like this,

Wake up, talk to Mama, Mama will definitely punish Rifki if you do not want to wake up, Mama already thinks you like Mama's own child, you can torture Rifki but do not torture Mama too, Mama, what's wrong with you, son, so you don't want to talk to Mama right now,

Dear Dhira, you must wake up, not for Rifki's sake but you must wake up for Mama's sake son, Mama beg you son, you can definitely pass your critical period Son, Mama sure"

A drop of Nadhira's tears flowed from the end of her eyes when the Princess said that to him but Nadhira did not show his response to the Princess, the Princess also brought her face closer to Nadhira's face, he kissed Nadhira with affection.

The kiss was so long, the Princess' tears fell on Nadhira's cheeks and flowed into Nadhira's ears, either Nadhira heard or did not say the Princess, but her tears also flowed from the end of her left eye.

"Dhira must be healed, for the sake of Mama Putri, Mama Putri loves Nadhira very much, Dhira is never alone Nak, here there is Mama who will always be there for you, Dhira must be strong yes Nak" Whispered Putri.

The princess could not help but feel the tightness that was on her chest, she rushed away from the place to let Rifki enter to meet Nadhira, who was not there, The princess closed the door slowly, making Rifki approach her.

"How's Ma?"

"Come in, look at yourself, son, he didn't even respond to Mama's words"

"Yes Ma, Rifki's coming in"

After using the APD provided at that place, Rifki also entered the room with tears, the all-white room made Rifki's heart beat faster especially when he saw Nadhira's body lying weak on a bench.

Rifki looked at Nadhira's body lying with full of medical equipment attached to his body, he then approached Nadhira slowly with land and continued to look at the face of the person he loved.

"Darling, I'm coming"

Rifki rubbed the top of Nadhira's head slowly, he rubbed it full of tenderness and affection, he peeked long Nadhira's forehead facing that Nadhira felt the affection given by the Rifki.

"Darling, don't you want to get up to see me for a second? I'm sorry, I'm wrong, it's all my fault, you can punish me, but don't be like this, this punishment is too heavy for me, I beg you, baby, I beg you" Rifki dropped her body to embrace Nadhira's helpless body.

Rifki can feel Nadhira's heartbeat is weakened when his ears are close to Nadhira's chest, Nadhira's breathing also looks very soft, and it is true that Nadhira does not want to fight the critical period.

"Darling, forgive all my mistakes, I'm selfish, please open your eyes baby, you don't want to see me anymore do you? Then you don't have to look at me anymore, but you have to stay alive for me, it's so painful for me Dhira, why are you punishing me like this so hard?,

Let me take your place, wake up baby I beg you, after you realize later you can kill me to express the pain you feel to me, my life means nothing to me if you leave me like this, baby,

Wake up for my sake, I beg Dhira, why are you tormenting me so much like this? Is it my fault this time to not be able to get sorry from you? It hurts Dhira so much, I'm so hurt,

You're my only encouragement, Dhira, if you go what about me? I can't live without you Dhira, wake up baby I beg you, forgive me for not being able to take care of you properly, forgive my negligence Dhira,

If I hadn't left you at home, maybe this time would never have happened, I'm so sorry Dhira, please don't punish me like this, I also feel the loss of our child, she said, I can't lose you again, baby,

You know Dhira? Since you were present in my life I can feel the beauty of love, if you leave me then with whom will I be happy? Nothing will ever replace your position in my heart, nothing will ever be able to do that,

Dhira, wake up baby, I beg you come back baby, don't you want to live with me anymore? I have incised the deepest wounds for you, and I no longer deserve to live in this world,

If you leave me now, then I will also end my own life Dhira, I cannot live without you by my side, you are the brightest lamp in my life, if that lamp goes away then there's only darkness in my life"

Rifki kissed Nadhira's forehead again with so long, sobbing it was not able to hold it, the soundproof room made Rifki's cry buzzing in it to sound very heartbreaking.

"Dhira wake up baby, you have to get through this critical period, don't leave me, I beg you baby, I have failed to be a good father and husband to you, I'm sorry baby,

What am I supposed to make amends for, baby? So that you can forgive me, I really apologize to you, I beg you not to leave me dear, do you not want to see me at all?

If you leave, I cannot forgive myself Dhira, I have failed to protect you and make you happy dear, I failed to be a good husband to you and also failed to be a good father to our son, I'm sorry,

I know my sin will never be forgiven, so what good am I to live with Dhira? What's the point of me breathing if I can't be the best for my wife and children, forgive all my mistakes baby, forgive me"

Rifki also let go of his embrace, he then clasped tightly Nadhira's hands that felt a little cold, he saw at the end of Nadhira's eyes there was a tear that continued to flow.

Rifki then wiped the tears with her thumb, she then kissed Nadhira asking face that the woman would open her eyes to look at him.

The beautiful eyes are now closed tightly, he really misses the figure of Nadhira who is always cheerful and always bothers him, considering it makes Rifki's tears slide swift.

"Wake up my beloved, I miss you dear, I love you, ana uhibuka fillah zaujati" Whispered Rifki in Nadhira's ear.

****

Under Nadhira's consciousness, Nadhira is now crying alone in the middle of darkness, he sits while hugging his knees tightly and also buried his face between his knees, he does not want to return to the world again.

"Everything is evil, I hate everything! I don't want to go back, I hate everything, I hate it!" Nadhira shouts behind both knees.

Suddenly a white light approached him, a beautiful woman approached Nadhira and touched Nadhira's shoulders slowly, it made Nadhira look up at the woman.

The woman helped Nadhira to get up from her seat, she held Nadhira's hand tightly, Nadhira only kept silent for a few moments while staring at the woman who looked a little young.

"Why are you crying, baby?" Ask the woman.

"Oma" said Nadhira.

"Why? Here's the same story Oma, who would dare to hurt Oma's beloved? Tell Oma" Sarah said softly to Nadhira.

"Everything is evil Oma" Nadhira then scattered his arms to Sarah's body, "I hate all Oma, Rifki is also evil to Dhira, Dhira hates Rifki"

"What has Rifki done to you son?"

"He wanted my son to die Oma, the son I've been guarding but he wanted him dead"

"Maybe Rifki has his own reasons, son, pity him, he does not want his son to die dear, but it is fate that has determined everything, we also don't know what will happen in the future, either,

Rifki is a good guy, he's not like that, son, trust Oma, come back and meet him, he's crying alone and wants you back with him"

"No Oma, I don't want to go back, I just want to go with Oma, I don't want to see Rifki anymore, he's evil"

"It's not yet time for you to go with Oma, there are still many things that you have to finish, son"

"No Oma, Dhira does not want to return, Dhira wants to come with Oma alone, Dhira does not want to live again, Dhira does not want to meet Rifki, Dhira hates Rifki"

"If that's your will then go with Oma, we'll get out of this world"

"Thank you Oma, for allowing Dhira to come along with Oma"

"Didn't you want to say the last word to Rifki?"

"No Oma, I don't want to meet Rifki, I hate her Oma, the person I love the most is now the person I hate the most"

"Pity Rifki, he's your husband, don't ever hate him like that"

"So Oma is more supportive of Rifki than I am? Oma is like Rifki hiks.. Rifki has killed my son Oma, my flesh and blood" Nadhira said, letting go of the handrails.

"Look, son, don't be mad at Rifki, so much of the burden she's carrying right now, I should always be there for her"

"I don't want Oma, I don't want to see Rifki again, my heart hurts so much Oma"

"All right let's go"

Sarah also took Nadhira's hand back to go somewhere, but suddenly Nadhira's footsteps seemed to be heavy when she heard the voice of Rifki who kept calling her name.

Nadhira seems to bow his head in because his steps are so heavy at this time, especially with the sound of crying from Rifki he heard it makes his heart feel more unsettled and he stopped his tongue.

"Dhira don't go! Don't leave me! Come back baby, I beg you" That's the voice Nadhira heard.