Tone of Nara
CHAPTER 88. Your eyes make me comfortable
POV NARA'S
My chest felt tight, because of the guilt on the two important men in my life. When consciousness
that the Nada’s project would bring misery to the man who had been sworn before God to always be my place of service in my distress and my arms, I began to doubt. I have sworn to put a damper on him no matter what. My promise to God and Papa is not like this. Not for
plotting a story that I knew would destroy him. This doesn't feel right to me.
But if I withdraw from the Nada’s Project, it means that I wasted our hard work during this year. Wasted of hard work, pain and all the sacrifices I had. It was a waste of time, material and emotional sacrifice that M gave me and this project. Can I do that. I saw M's disappointment as I expressed this incompetence alone, I was unable to. Especially if I had to say that I didn't want to continue the project that would hurt my husband. You can imagine how great the disappointment M will be. My chest was completely congested, like the oxygen in this room was sucked out. I need to get out there to get oxygen. I stepped my foot towards the front porch speechless.
I fell silent on the porch. My head is busy with all thoughts and considerations. The world feels narrowed. My breath went out without me noticing. I focused on myself and my thoughts. To the extent that I didn't hear M's footsteps that turned out to follow me out. I realized when I heard his voice greet me. He stopped in front of me.
“Hai, we have Nada’s Project because of you. We want to take away all that is rightfully yours that men destroy. We avenge the evil of the husband who wants to kill his wife. With your current achievements, you can destroy your husband this week. Nara.why with your expression. What's with your eyes? Tell me” he said to me gently. Hearing his words I felt more doubtful who smothered my chest. In order to take in oxygen to fill my lungs, I tried to take a long breath that felt very heavy Nara pulled a long and deep breath. I decided to say what was in my head.
“M, I know all this you did for me. I know it's all in my hands right now because of you. And I know my current desires and feelings will definitely disappoint you. After all, you've put in so much effort and spent so much money. So what's in my head right now, should never have crossed. But how else. After hearing what would happen to them. What will happen to Pradipta, July, sisters-in-law, I can't bear. And I'm confused. I don't want to say it because I don't want to hurt you,” I said limply. After saying all that, I felt like I was running out of energy. I just ducked down and fell in M's arms which felt very comfortable. My body stiffened as M's soft lips landed on my head. There was a strange sense of sighing that I had never felt. This is different from the swish that appears when it is frowned upon by the Pradipta. But I also can't explain what kind of strange. I dare not even lift my face. The color of my face that feels hot must be like a tomato. Suddenly my heart skipped a beat while still hugging me, she lifted my chin so I could look at her.
“No Nara, say. Tell me what's inside this beautiful little head. I don't want you to feel heavy and sad,” she said gently but demandingly.
“M, actually I don't want revenge. That desire is gone” I replied heart. I looked at his warm eagle eyes and made me comfortable.