Tone of Nara
Chapter 18 My Pain Changed my destiny (part 1)

Half the journey of changing my destiny, for love's sake, has been surpassed. The journey I believe will change the course of my life and restore what is mine, a journey full of sorrow and sorrow. But according to Mahardika, the hard journey is not over. Even the storm of travel has not abated. I have to keep preparing my mentality and stamina. Because of this second phase, it will be more uncomfortable than the first phase. Phase two is the reconstruction of the neck upwards. Kayang ‘kan, how areas that are soft and full of dangerous pulse and nerves, will be slashed, cut and recontrusksi. Even my current situation has not fully recovered. I still feel tired and the pain of neck reconstruction down in the first phase.

I'm sure I can. I'm not giving up. The face of Pradipta with his gentle smile, who always took care of me from the other children. He who, since I was little, defended me from those who bullied me. Pradipta was the only man who wanted to marry me, while other men looked at me in disgust. Now I must change my destiny. I had to be strong to make Pradipta smile proudly standing next to me. I must be strong and be the destiny of Pradipta's love. I have to be strong to be able to change the destiny of Nada who lost love because of the actor, to be Nara who reclaims her love and life.

This morning, Mahardika came with a bunch of white roses. She put the flower on the nightstand next to my bed.

“Hai Nada, good morning,” greetings while gently stroking the top of my head. A simple act that burned my cheeks and brain, spurring my heart.

“Hai. Did you come in the morning? Last night you came home too late from here. Even I've

your sleep is still here,” I said welcoming his smile. I tried to break my heart and put out the red tinge on my cheek.

“Hahaha, I didn't go home Nada. I just went out for a while to work, find food, and buy this for you,” he said with his eyes glittering with jokes. I love it when Mahardika laughs. The more days, he laughed more and more.

“Oh, have you finished ngegym? “ my question does not matter. I try to respond and communicate with him without breaking up. Because it makes me calm and happy. I don't want him to feel ignored.

“Heem, all looking for a bath. How are you today? Sleep well last night? You okay?”  the man leaned on me with a routine question that he asked every morning.

“I'm fine. My sleep was much better last night. Just the food this morning is very boring, only eggs and broccoli boiled the same kiwi juice,” I said a little tucking complaints.

“Sabar, I'll buy you some good food. What do you want?” mahardika said as she pulled the chair next to my bed.

“As I said last night, I miss rice paddocks, chicken noodles, instant noodles and roadside food in Jakarta,” I said while grinning. Mahardika looked at me while shaking her head. Suddenly the lightning binary in his eyes slowly disappeared. The sun on his face seemed to be hiding behind a cloud of sadness that was swaying.

“Nara, I lied when I said that if it had started it would not be able to retreat or stop. Now I want to ask, and you have to think about your answer earnestly. Do you still want to continue this?” mahardika said softly but firmly. The real question is starting to bore me.

“I've said many times that I want this to continue until it's done. If necessary without pause and all at the same time. Don't worry about me too much. Come on M, I think we've been together for months, you know how I've been dealing with all this,” I said. Mahardika looked at me gently and took a deep breath. At first glance I saw a worried look and I don't know, baby maybe? But I don't want to think about that now. I was just concentrating on my struggle to change my destiny in life.

During the day, Mahardika came back, brought me good food. He cooks fried instant noodles plus half-cooked ceplok eggs, meatballs, chicken suwiran and crab pieces. Maybe because from yesterday I was joking, saying I miss coming home to Indonesia because I miss eating instant noodles.

“I brought your favorite instant fried noodles,” said Mahardika while opening the place to eat. I, who had been eating hospital food for months, was immediately tempted by the food that Mahardika brought. For me, noodles are the most delicious food in the world. Seeing my reaction, Mahardika laughed off.

“Ha .. ha .. ha .. ha. your face is really funny Tone. You look at this noodle like you see a steak in a five-star restaurant. You are even like a person who never eats,” he said with a red face as it held back laughter. After all, even though it's like home to me, it's still a hospital, ‘ right?

“It's more delicious than steak, M. Thank you,” I said grab the food box and start enjoying it.

“Spend, if still hungry, say. What do you want me to make for you. Tonight is the last night you can eat comfortably, until the next few months,” said Mahardika looking at me who was chewing with pleasure. Yes, I really enjoy the food I eat. For me to eat is a serious thing and should be enjoyed in earnest. Sandra once told me that

he wanted me to sit in front of the restaurant while eating, to be able to attract customers. Because the way I eat makes other people hungry and want to eat.

“mmyeanyua kenyapa?” much

“Ish slut. Telan used to talk about Nada. It's not good to talk when your mouth is super full like this,” said Mahadika smiling. He took a tissue and wiped the corner of my lip that was hit by the sauce. “Start later tonight you should fast for 6 hours at least. Tomorrow morning we'll continue the operation for your face.”

“Yes, we will start the second phase, neck up. In the meantime we start with your face,” explained Mahardika. The man who took care of me and looked after me for a few months, always said what he was. He had already said that the second phase would be quite heavy. There will be a long and painful surgery journey associated with my neck and my face. For the neck must still contain the formation, incision, suction and discard. Still not much different, but must be extra careful many nerves and important vessels there. After that I will have surgery starting from the facial line, teeth, eyes, nose, and so on. If I look at the Nada’s Project design, Mahardika also changes the bone structure and also some parts of the face.

In fact, thanks to my willingness to learn, read and find out about plastic surgery, I know exactly what happened to me and what it will be like. The risks I had to face, I also understood. Yeah, I already know and don't really want to think about it.

I go back to eating the noodles in front of me. This is the second box from the two-stacked dining area. I saw Mahardika looking at me in wonder. Both of his eyes were glaring and his mouth was open. Maybe because I was too surprised by this incredible portion of my meal. Wh why? Is there sauce on my face? Or is there a sticky noodle in my nose and mouth?  I immediately picked up a tissue and cleaned around my mouth. But there was no dirt.

“Hoy, why look at me like that? “ Manyu.”Is there something strange about my face?”

“It ... it .. “ he said while pointing to my lunchbox. I pointed to the food that was more than half I had spent, astonished. What's wrong with this food box? Yes, this is the food he brought for me, ‘kan?

“This why? You want?“ I said while looking at the food in front of me. I just realized that I ate alone, without offering it. Don't you think Mahardika thinks I'm weird because I ate this much? Is he surprised to see me eat so much? But didn't he already know that I was Nada, who loved to eat?

“You've eaten?” I'm going to slow down, stop eating. Mahardika took a breath and shook her head.

“Actually I deliberately made two boxes, because I want to have lunch with you here,” he said while standing and moving to sit on the sofa. I kept thinking about what he meant. The man leaned against the sofa and looked closed. I heard a strange sound coming from his stomach. At that moment I realized and understood what it meant. Immediately I took off the half-living lunchbox.

I stared at the box I had just eaten. The shape is already very chaotic. I do have

habit of stirring and mixing the food I want to eat. I remember the shape of the contents of this supply box when it was opened. Very beautiful and inviting to taste. M had arranged beautifully in the lunchbox she brought as both of us. And I greedily controlled our lunch. I also

actually do not have the heart to give this disheveled food. The guilt grew quickly. I feel like a greedy person who doesn't know myself.

“Mahardika, sorry ...” I said disconnected. I saw him sitting there I felt so guilty. Moreover, hearing a voice from inside his stomach that went back to sound.

“M, it's still half there, eat it. You must be hungry,” I said. He looked at me and smiled.

“Forward eating. Spend it if you want. I can find food in the hospital cafeteria after you finish eating,” he said with a fluffy smile. After he finished speaking, his stomach sang back, telling his owner to be noticed immediately.

“Already, I've had enough. Eat a little before you forage in the cafeteria,” I said with a sense of sin. But then my consciousness emerged, maybe he also did not want to eat my used food that was not because of this. He must be disgusted to see. I am completely ignorant and disrespectful.

“But this is no longer shaped. Excuse me. You're disgusted at eating my old food?” I said quietly, Mahardika stood up to me, took my chopsticks and bribed a lump of noodles into her mouth. After that he rubbed my head cheerfully. I could only gawk, speechless.

“It's been right, I'm not disgusted at you Nada. But you need this noodle more than me. After this, you will have trouble eating. While I can eat whenever I want,” he said still with his smile.

“Then go find food. You will be sick later. I'm waiting here. Or do I want to accompany?“ My toot. Yes, with my current situation, although I still had difficulty moving and walking, the doctor let me out of the room.  However

of course it will be a concern with the shape of my body that is still wrapped in elastic bandages like this.

“No need Tone. I wait for you to finish eating, and then I go down to find my own food. Kan, I want to accompany you to eat,” he said.

“No! can't do. Your stomach worms have been demoed from earlier. There will be rebellion. I don't want that to happen in front of me. Go eat. I can spend this on my own,” I said convincingly. Finally, he agreed and went out of the room, to find food. The real me still wants to finish the instant noodles ala M, finish the food immediately.  Still with guilt. I feel like a greedy woman with no feelings. In my heart determined, later when all this is done I will always make delicious food for M.