Wagering
Stay Alive, Even if It is Painful

Vacation vibes on Sundays turned out to be really only until the middle of the day. By late afternoon, the bad weather and lazy to live Monday have mastered the cells in all parts of the body. It is felt by Blue today. The clock has shown at 4 pm and all he can do from now on is just be tolerant on the sofa with Baskara who skidded on the floor while playing his phone.

Take a deep breath, exhale slowly. It is done constantly. Until it finally makes Baskara look disturbed. The young man put his cell phone on the table, then turned his body, and met their gazes in a straight line when at the same time, Blue was turning his lying position into sitting.

“Why?” ask Baskara.

Blue frowning, “Gue kesel.” His sister.

“Yes, why?”

“Udah at 4 pm. A little more his Sunday runs out.” Blue's lower lips were advancing, her gaze suddenly becoming sad. “Can not heh, his Sunday repeated again?” ask the girl later.

Baskara clucked slowly. If he had the superpower to stop time, it was certain that the unreasonable hope Blue had just conveyed would he gladly grant it. But since he doesn't have that kind of ability, all he can do now is find a way to improve the mood of the gray idol.

It took a while until an idea popped into Baskara's head. And not wanting to let the idea just settle in the head, he got up and reached out to Blue as the first step to realize it.

Blue looked at the helping hand for a while, hesitant to accept it because he still did not know where to take it if the greeting was finally welcomed.

But then, after exhaling slowly, he still grabbed the helping hand even with a willful movement. At that instant, his arm was jolted firmly, making his body stagger until it almost toppled from the sofa. Fortunately Baskara was quick to hold his body so that there was no sad falling scene.

“Where to?” blue asked as Baskara began to lead him to the front door.

“Street-path.” The male's law. Then no more chatter occurred as they walked along the lonely hallway to the elevator.

Six minutes they stood in front of the elevator door with their arms interlocked, until finally the elevator door opened, revealing three passengers who were three-thirds down on the same floor. After letting the three men out, then Blue and Baskara get into the elevator.

Wrinkles immediately appeared on Blue forehead when Baskara actually pressed the number 13— which is the highest floor in this apartment building. Though he thought Baskara would take him to the basement and then drive by car.

But ... why did they go to the top floor of his apartment building?

Blue was about to ask, but his energy seemed to have run out because it was devoured by laziness and other negative auras that emerged from the shadows of Monday. Finally, he swallowed back his curiosity. He let Baskara's hand grip tighter, as they got closer to the intended floor.

Until they arrive. Baskara led him to the access door to the rooftop after the elevator doors opened. During his stay here, Blue never ventured to another floor, let alone up to the rooftop. So he was a bit surprised when he saw Baskara seemed to memorize the intricacies of this place where he lived.

But again, the astonishment was swallowed round and round because after they managed to break through the door and set foot on the rooftop, he was amazed.

The sky above them was golden in color, with orange and pink tints overlapping each other. Vaguely, it also looks a little blue and white color that is nyempil among the warm colors that dominate.

Blue is not typical of a twilight child. Not a romantic human who likes to sit quietly on the balcony of his room to watch the change of time from day to night. But seeing the beautiful blend of colors spread wide before her eyes at this moment had managed to grind out the uneasy feeling that dominated her heart bit by bit.

"Wait here, wait for the sun to come home."

Blue turned his head, finding Baskara who turned out to also anchor his gaze upwards. The young man's eyes looked sparkling, while the corners of his lips looked raised slightly forming a thin, soothing smile.

"Since when have you been a twilight child?" blue Goda.

Baskara chuckled softly, then turned his gaze from the sky towards Blue whose hand he still held.

Thousands of vocabulary words that he learned throughout his life, suddenly blurred out of nowhere. There was nothing he could use to describe how beautiful the masterpiece that God created in the form of a man now standing beside him was. Blue face that was hit by sunlight that had not yet fully returned home, looked many times more beautiful than usual. Like God is in a cheerful mood when creating this human named Eleena Sabiru.

"I love you." Said Baskara suddenly. It was completely out of context so it provoked Sabiru's laughter.

"Great random, but—" Blue paused for a while, just to make their bodies face to face. "I love you too." It ends with an awkward ruckus because this is really not their style.

Both then and now, their expressions of love never came in the form of words. Saying the phrase I love you and the like too clearly often makes them tickle themselves.

This afternoon seems like an exception.

"I love you more." Baskara Briefs. Somehow, the young man's face was now right in front of Sabiru. Make their breaths clash with each other.

Warm twilight, blending nicely with a fixed gaze. The atmosphere like this is already similar to the scene in romantic dramas that Blue often watch. The difference was that there was no kissing scene going on between them. Because before they got any more dissolved in the atmosphere, the sound of a buzz coming from the door behind them instantly scattered everything.

Blue and Baskara turned towards the door, then were both confused when they found a teenage boy in Junior High standing in the iron doorway. The teenage look looked shabby. His curly hair that was painted dark brown looked disheveled. The deep blue tie hanging from his neck was almost gone. The uniform he was wearing was out, and the top three buttons were open— revealing the sweatshirt in a faded white.

At first glance, nothing strange. One who sees will probably think that the teenage boy is just an ordinary Junior High student who just came home from tutoring and came to the rooftop for thin healing in order to relieve fatigue and stress from the material lessons learned all day.

But after Baskara took a closer look, and found the teenager's body was beginning to shake violently, Baskara knew something was wrong.

"Bas," Blue whispered softly.

Baskara coded Blue not to continue, as she seemed to know what the girl was thinking at the moment.

The grasp of their hands was slowly released by Baskara, then calmly, the young man began to take a step closer to the teenage boy whose body was increasingly visibly shaking.

"Hi, would you like to talk for a second?"

...****************...

Cigarette smoke billowed in front of Baskara's face. Several times he was made to cough with smoke coming out of a cigarette smoked by a teenage boy who is now sitting next to him.

His attempt to persuade a teenage boy— whom he later learned was named Dyo—it to chat with him did not end in vain. By relying a little on his ability to seduce women, as well as a pack of cigarettes that he always carried everywhere, he was finally able to invite Dyo to sit together. Sabiru he got rid of. He forcibly returns to his unit as Dyo seems uncomfortable as long as there is still that girl around them.

"They're too strict." Complain Dyo after finishing one cigarette. As if unsatisfied, the boy lit another one. Baskara had no objections. Even if Dyo wanted to, the boy could spend the rest of the cigarettes in the pack.

"For them to have successful children really does make us miserable." Dyo continued after smoking his cigarette several times.

So far, Baskara is still a good listener. Not a single bit he had ever cut Dyo's speech, even though his tongue was itching to ask a lot of things.

"But my brother was his victim. But they don't seem to be clawed at all." Dyo's still babbling. Twice a cigarette, once a story. It always continues to be so.

"Two years ago, Brother failed to enter the university that Papi wanted. As a result, Papi was furious. Brother was beaten sambai battered, and after being satisfied, Brother was dragged into the room and told to study more. He said, if you can not enter the university that Papi wants, at least you still have to enter the 2nd choice university." Dyo smiled. For a moment, his eyes seemed empty. Cigarettes that are sandwiched between the thin fingers also he let it burn just like that without the intention to suck more. "Say, my brother's choice was only two; so the doctor could be proud of everyone or die."

Hearing the word die, Baskara's feelings were already bad. Especially when Dyo slowly turned to look at him, and the teenager showed the look of the face of the nelangsa and eyes filled with clear fog. Baksara knew, something bad must have happened to someone Dyo called the brother.

Such feelings were a close friend to Baskara. The desire to die was not just once twice coming to him. But after hearing Dyo's story, he was instantly embarrassed. Feeling too weak to continue expecting death just because it no longer gets enough affection from his father, even though there is a mother who no less showers him with love. While there are other children like Dyo who do not even get affection from either his mother or father.

"I'm tired, it feels like I really want to die." Dyo's voice really sounded desperate.

"Who's here visiting who?" baskara asked suddenly, without any clear context, making Dyo look confused. "Gue's sure you don't live in this apartment complex." Baskara continued before Dyo became even more confused.

Dyo let out a slow breath, "Friends." He answered, then returned to smoking a cigarette that he had forgotten.

"Defend him." Baskara said as he looked up at the sky that was turning dark.

Dyo looked back at him. His lips were half open because he had just exhaled cigarette smoke.

"Gue was once in the position of lo—pengin dead—but I realized that dying can never be a solution. Death might make me escape the problems and sadness that befell me during my time in the world but, death will also leave other injuries for people who are still alive— especially those who have a close relationship with me."

"Including the girl?" ask Dyo.

Baskara nodded, "He's one of my reasons for staying alive. I lost him once before. So now if God still loves me the opportunity to get him again, I don't want to miss that opportunity in the slightest. Fuck all the problems that befell me, as long as there is him, I will live. Because I must be sure in happy."

"So, if God takes him from Mas again, will Mas die?" ask Dyo.

"Maybe." Answer Baskara. He turned his head again towards Dyo, looking at the teenager's eyes fixedly. "But that's not necessarily the case. Why do I think that far? Is it not the most important thing, until now he is still beside me? Be the reason I stay alive to love?"

Dyo's cigarette is still half left, but the boy is no longer interested in enjoying it and prefers to turn it off. Because now, he feels more interested in changing to listen to the words of Baskara more.

"Lo is young, still doesn't know much about the world. There are wonderful things out there that you haven't tried, so don't die just yet."

"But if it doesn't feel strong?"

"Find your friend. I'm sure you wouldn't be here if he wasn't one of the people you believed in."

Dyo nodded. "She's my first love." Acutely.

Baskara gave a smile hearing the statement. There was a significant change when Dyo started talking about his friend.

"Daughter?" search Baskara with a witty look.

Dyo chuckled, then shook his head slowly. "Yet. I didn't dare to date her because I couldn't promise anything. I'm broken, so I don't dare to tie him up."

"Then make it an excuse to survive. Think that you have to live longer, fix what you think is broken, then come to him to declare love."

"If he refuses?"

"It's her loss, not yours. If he refuses to be loved by a great person like you, it's not him."

"That means I won't have any more reason to survive, right?"

Baskara shook her head while smiling. "Still there."

Not understanding, Dyo seemed to frown.

"Remember, you have to get to the stage of successfully repairing what is broken before finally declaring love. That means, there is nothing more damaged from yourself when the rejection comes in the end. You obviously still have a reason to live, because at least, you are not damaged anymore. Believe me, if you have succeeded in that stage, you will no longer think that his name is dead. Cuz your life gets better every single day."

Dyo pensively, trying to digest Baskara's speech well. Word by word, without the slightest missed so that there is no misperception.

While Dyo does that, Baskara is back in listener mode. It was all he wanted to say. Now, he just waited until Dyo finished musing while preparing his ears to listen to more stories—if Dyo pleases.

...****************...

Blue paced in the front room, restless waiting for Baskara who never returned when time continued to run. It is not visible, but Blue believes the sky has completely turned dark. The rain may also fall in a moment because a moment ago, he had a peek at the weather forecast through his mobile phone.

"Am I following ya? How to worry why." Mumbled. He stopped pacing back and forth, now glued to his apartment door while still considering whether he would catch up with Baskara or not.

Not yet finished he thought, the door he was looking at opened. Baskara appeared from there, with a thin smile imprinted on her handsome face.

"Bas," Blue galloped toward Baskara. He was about to flank the young man with so many questions milling about in his head. However, not yet open his mouth, he had been made to puff when his body was pulled suddenly by Baskara. The young man hugged her, tightly. As if afraid that this was the last time they could hug like this.

"Bas, you okay?" tanya Blue is worried. Baskara is clingy and tends to like ndusel without knowing the place and situation. But if the way he hugged was like this, he knew the young man's feelings were not okay.

"What are you obrolin like that kid? Is something wrong? Is there a chat you're having that hurt you?"

"Nope." Baskara answered quickly. However, his embrace was still not released, even more felt stretched. "Gue learned a lot from Dyo. He made me realize that no matter what kind of jerk I lived, there were still many things I could be grateful for. Including lo."

"Can you take a minute? I have to make sure you're really okay." Blue tried to let go of Baskara's embrace. Fortunately, the young man was willing to understand by loosening his embrace. Yes, just loosened. Because it seemed like the young man was unwilling that they should be far apart.

Before Baskara re-captured him like before, Blue took advantage of the time he had to venture into the concentrated bead of the young man. Trying to find a lie or whatever it is that Baskara is trying to hide from him. But nil, he didn't find anything.

"You okay? Really?" tanyanya made sure once again.

Baskara nodded confidently, "I'm okay. I just want to hug you tight. Can you?"

"Sure."

"Thanks, Baby." - "Thanks." Baskara again hugged Blue, resuscitated her chin on the girl's shoulder while closing her eyes. "Thanks, give me a chance to be able to hug you again like this, Blue. It means a lot to me."

"Gue don't know why anymore, but if hugging me makes you feel better, then just do it." Blue said while replying to Baskara's embrace with no less tight.

Along with the real rain falling like the blue weather forecast saw earlier, their embrace grew tighter and warm.

Seriate

Alas, who knows tomorrow there is a melee 😌😌