Wagering
Everything Has Changed

For a Seraphina Lazuardy, there is no such thing as missing something in her life. There, he could get everything he wanted easily. Without much effort, without much whining to both parents. So, when he knew there was someone else who could make him feel what it was to lose, he could not stay silent.

Every day, in his head, since the night Jeffrey cried at his feet, he has been thinking about how to prevent the loss from happening. Deposing the Kingdom abroad wasn't even the only plan he had. Once at one point, he even wished he could kill the woman with his own hands. Though, far—so far—in his heart, he knew that Raya was innocent.

Now, after 20 more years of that desire he had stored in his head, Sera was finally able to completely eliminate Raya. But he lost everything.

The beloved son he guarded desperately, Baskara, left him, leaving him behind, just by leaving a letter as a farewell greeting so that one day when he has obtained a verdict for the crime he has committed against Raya, he said, Sera did not continue to wonder why her son had never come to visit the prison.

Jeffrey, who came last week, filed a piece of paper with a divorce lawsuit that he may have kept long enough in his desk drawer. But strangely, Sera did not mind to affix the signature. Divorce is no longer a frightening specter for her. Because now, he has nothing.

“You should be able to live happily without having to disturb our lives, Sera.”

The fucking voice is coming back. For the past three days, Sera started listening to voices she knew she shouldn't have heard.

For, the Kingdom is dead, before his own eyes. So it's impossible that she can still talk to him, unless he's really starting to go crazy.

“From long ago, my only desire was to live happily with my son. But you, who already has everything, are still reluctant to let us be happy just because of the fear that is in your head.”

“But fear is real. If I hadn't tried to keep Jeffrey away from you, our family would've been devastated a long time ago.” For the first time, Sera was willing to acknowledge the voice.

In the cold prison cell, while waiting for his trial to begin, Sera spoke alone. “Jeffrey's love for the boy has made him forget his own son, Raya. And you hope I'll let it all happen?”

“But now, you've lost everything.”

Sera laughed heartily, at the figure of Raya sitting before him. The woman was wearing a white dress, her long hair was unraveling and there was a red stain seeping on her chest. “Because of you.” The accusation.

The figure of Raya before him shook his head slowly. His eyes still looked shady even though time had passed, and there were so many bad things he had done to the woman. “Because of your ambition to create a happy family like in a fantasy world, also because of the excess fear that now—I'm sure—you are aware that it is not proven.”

“Even if you let Jeffrey know he had another child born from his mistake, he will not leave you and Baskara. He still loves you, Sera. Just as big as when you first fell in love.”

“What do you know about that?”

“The blind can see how much the man still loves you, Sera. Your fear is what makes love invisible.”

“She won't file for divorce if she still loves me.” After saying that, Sera turned her gaze in the other direction. “But he did it a week ago.”

“Because he failed to make you believe that his love still exists.”

Sera chuckles. “You were chatty as well as it turned out, huh?” he said, turning back to the figure of Raya.

For some time, nothing came out of Sera's lips. His gaze was fixed on the Manik Raya. While the one being stared at still showed no reaction.

Until then, Sera's tears dripped. He did not know why the tears had fallen. His chest did not hurt at all. There was no sadness he felt. But the tears kept on dripping until he finally sobbed alone.

The female warden standing guard in front of her cell could only sigh low. More than anyone else, it was he who bore witness to the devastating life of Seraphina Lazuardy.

...****************...

In his left hand, Jeffrey carried a bouquet of Lily flowers. Doubtful, the bouquet of flowers he placed on top of the navel Kingdom, while he sat himself slowly.

“Good afternoon, Kingdom.” Sweepings. On mute mounds of land that will not be able to say his greeting.

“Sorry because I can only visit after a month has passed.” Then, he took a breath so deep.

“Our children, go heal themselves. And I, as their father, can do nothing but pray for them from where I stand.”

“They are good kids. Although I did not take care of Fabian, and there was a time where I went so far from Baskara's life, I knew they were still good children who would not hurt others.”

“Sorry, Kingdom. My cowardice has led us to this disaster. If only I had a little more courage, we might be able to live a better life

But regret is meaningless. Nothing can be changed from what has happened. So no matter how much he wept over the loss of his two sons, Jeffrey knew his tears would only go to waste.

Now, all he could do was live the rest of his life in mediocrity, while waiting for his two sons to return, before he closed his eyes.

“I and Sera decided to divorce.” Suddenly akunya. “Not. I don't love him anymore. I just feel ... Sera's life could have gone better, had she not been together with male bastards like me.” At the end of the sentence, Jeffrey smiled.

Releasing Sera, after everything they had been through all this time had actually never been thought of by her at all. From the very beginning, ever since he decided to marry that woman, his goal was indeed only one. He wanted to live with her, as long as possible, until they were old and no longer remembered each other's names.

In the past, everything seemed possible. But now, Jeffrey is aware that not everything has to go exactly as he wants and wishes. There are parts when he has to let go, that some things can indeed go far from what he thinks. He must not forget, that he is only a puppet, who must submit to what the puppeteer wants in a show.

“Raya,” call it. Although there is no truth, he continued. “I hope you are happy there. Thank you for facing everything alone. Now, you can rest in peace. I am not a good father to our children, but even if I am far from here, I will still try my best for them.” That long sentence almost Jeffrey said in just one breath. Until when he got to the end of the sentence, his breathing felt bad.

For that, he went back into silence, for the sake of adjusting his breathing to return to normal. A moment later, he got up.

“Good afternoon, Misella Arraya Haris. See you later, another time.” Pamphitt. Then Jeffrey left. Leaving a bouquet of Lily flowers above the Royal Pusara as a memento before she returned here again, either way.

Maybe later, when their children have returned. Or perhaps, just when his body was dead and someone buried him here too.

...-happened-...

Hi, Rain is here!

Thank you to all of you who have loved these good children until now.

The story of Pain Killer stops here, as they have to heal themselves for a while.

But, if there's a chance, we'll meet again when they're both healed, okay?

Last but not least, I love you guys, to the moon and back!

Regards

Rain