BECOMING HONEY'S SISTER
I'M NOT THAT SAD

"Please Mila, don't cry anymore or everything will be suspicious." pinta mbak Ayu, when we're in front of the yard, while I'm still crying. Therefore, Ayu did not immediately get off the taxi we were riding until my crying completely subsided. He was worried that what he had been secretive about was discovered.

"How can I be mediocre as if there is nothing, when I am sick" I said. Although we just got along, but it feels like our relationship is so close like family. Imagining Ayu leaving us for good makes me sad, let alone knowing about this just me. Even Sila didn't know. I wouldn't have kept this secret. I wouldn't have the heart.

"Mila .. please don't. I'm not that sad either. I'm doing fine. Don't act like I'm dying. Before you know my true condition, you can treat me like nothing happened. Now let's act like that again."

Indeed, at this time Mbak Ayu looks good because of the drugs he consumes. But he's not healthy either. I often hear stories about people who have cancer. They could lose their lives at any time. It is fitting that some time I feel that Ayu's mother is taking care of her more, it turns out that the disease has infected her.

"Sir, should I do chemotherapy?" my many. It was one of the doctors' suggestions to slow the spread of his cancer.

"For what?"

"Yes, who knows by doing chemo can be cured."

"It's too late, Mil. I don't want Inspiration and the others to know. I also don't want to be bald because of chemo. Before I die, I want Ilham to still see me as Ayu who is like this, not a sick ayu let alone bald."

"There is no late term for the affairs of medicine, mbak. God also tells us to pray and pray. Not just hands off. This is called the mbak effort. God can love us all miracles to heal. The business of Ilham and others, if you are not ready to tell them, I will help the mas set up the strategy so that during the implementation of chemotherapy, you can go out of the house without suspicion. Hows it? You want me to mbak!"

"Not yet, Mil. I know myself. I can feel that I will not be able to undergo chemotherapy. What is later I even added down and become a burden for others. So let's just walk like this. Let's see when God gives me a chance."

"Mom!" I cry again. This time it was more crowded. I don't know what to do to help Ayu.

"Mila, I'm sorry. Please respect my decision. I've been considering everything since the beginning and I'm sure this is the best."

***

Maybe what I did was not something meaningful, but at least I tried to make Ayu happy. All the things he wanted to do to Ilham, I made it easy. We who are usually rivals, now I have retreated slowly. Food, clothing, equipment to accompany Ilham mas I handed it to him. I let Mbak Ayu enjoy togetherness with mas Ilham even longer.

"It's not cool!" Ayu's mother complained. He threw a cloth over the table that was right in front of me.

"Astagfirullah. Why mbak?" I asked a little surprised.

"You were intentionally Mil? You don't want to compete with me anymore. You deliberately let me take care of Ilham. That's not what I want." Mbak Ayu pouted.

I smile. But again he grumbled, assuming that I was loving him, even though the truth is true.

"Don't do this again, Mil. If you let me master the Ilham mas alone, there will be Ilham mas will suspect there is something we hide. Besides, like this, I will lose my spirit. I want everything back to how it used to be. I want us to compete healthily to serve the Ilham. Can, right?"

"What's wrong if you're the one doing it all now. I'm pregnant anyway, mom. I find it hard to serve the needs of the people."

Although not heart, but I also can not refuse the request mbak Ayu. At last from then on we were back to competing as we were.

***

What I was afraid of finally happened as well. Ayu's mother collapsed again because she was tired. Iantak unconscious after spewing fresh blood with a sufficient amount. Of course, it made everyone worry.

"Yu ... You why?" mas Ilham who took Ayu, shook his body slowly. But both eyes mbak Ayu still not open.

"we're taking her to the hospital now!" say

"What's wrong with Ayu? Do you know anything, Mil?"

"I'll tell you later. Now it's important we go to the hospital first."

The three of us rushed to the hospital. Fortunately, the streets are quiet enough so that they can get to the hospital quickly and Ayu can immediately get treatment.

"What's? Do you have cancer?" Mas Ilham immediately limp as soon as he heard the doctor's explanation.I had to take him outside the doctor's room because Ilham was incessantly angry. "Do you know that too, Mila?" Now the question is directed at me. I just kept quiet, not knowing what to answer. "Mila, respond! Did you know that Ayu has cancer?"

I'm nodding.

"Astagfirullah. Then why didn't you tell me? Why are you silent Mila when this pain is not a fool. You know how bad cancer patients are?"

"Yes I know the mas,"

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Mbak Ayu forbid me, mas. since the beginning I have wanted to tell mas, but he asked me to keep all this a secret.".

"But you can think of Mil, which one to keep secret which one to tell!" Now it was my turn to scold me.

Actually I already know, there will be a possibility of the risk of the Ilham angry. Naturally, he is the husband of Mbak Ayu, entitled to know about the condition of mbak Ayu. But I kept it a secret from him.

"I'm sorry, I just want to make Ayu happy for the rest of my life ...."

"Have been silent Mila. How can you be presumptuous to say Ayu's age won't be long? You are not God. Doctors too. They can diagnose anything but still the end result is all God's business."

"Yes mas. I've understood. I'm sorry."actually I also want to tell you, but I'm worried about Ayu's request