If Only
hard choices

  I hurried to open the door, and instantly my eyes made.

"Rone ...." I did not continue my words because I was too afraid to see his expression.

"You coming?" I looked back when I heard Abian's voice. I was shocked when Randu went straight in and hit Abian. The panicked me immediately ran over and restrained Randu.

"Randu is ... I'm sorry" I said, starting to sob. "I'm sorry ... It's my fault" I said. I still feel the breath of Randu going up and down because of the emotion.

"This only?" Bian asked who instantly made Randu return an emotion.

"Damn ..." Randu rebelled, so I crashed into the table.

"Shit ..." I was shocked when Bian hit Randu. "How dare you!" Bian again gave a punch on Randu's face. I stood up and held Bian.

"That's enough!" My yelling. "What are you doing?" I asked with turbulent emotions.

"He hurt you!" His shouting. I turned around when I found out that Randu got up after falling to the floor due to a blow from Bian. He looked at me with a sad look.

"What's this?" Ask. I cried when I saw the corner of her lips bleed and her cheeks were red. "Yesterday you accompanied me to the hospital and now ...." Randu hung his words. I'm getting sobbing.

"I'm sorry ... I was wrong" I said in between my sobbing. I walked up to him and touched his cheek. I saw her tears go through her cheeks. I looked down while crying.

"Why are you doing this?" Ask. "I know I've hurt you, but that doesn't mean you can do this" he said. His hand touched the hand that was on his cheek.

"But we have nothing to do" I ventured into her eyes. "He's just my little friend" I said.

"He's the one who got me battered by Sofia" he said. "Do you know how I feel right now?! You should know!" Randu yelled at me.

"I'm sorry ... But nothing happened here" I said.

"Didn't you open my shoes and coat last night?" Bian asked who was clearly provoking Randu's emotions. "I was drunk, but I still remember" he added. I looked at Bian in astonishment. I looked back at Randu as I felt him take off my hand that was on his cheek. I shook my head strongly.

"No you misunderstood" I took his hand and held it tightly. "I did open the suit but I didn't do anything" I said, trying to convince him.

"I should have known from the beginning when he picked you up at the cafe that day" said Randu and his eyes stared intently at Bian. Without a word he let go of my grasp and just left. I kept calling her name while sobbing. I slammed onto the floor as his back disappeared from behind the door.

"Let's get up" said Bian easily. He grabbed my shoulder and was about to wake me up. I quickly pulled him over and stood up.

"What do you mean do this?" My toot. "Do you know that she's my boyfriend?" Ask again. Bian nodded.

"And I've given you a warning never to get in touch with him again" he said.

"Why?" I'm confused. "I'm here because you were my little best friend!" my yelling.

"Friend? You said best friend?" Ask. "I love you, I wish you'd come looking for me when I disappear" he added. I was silent with a million stupidities.

"But ...." My words were cut.

"But you're not looking for me at all ... You know I was so angry back then!" Tuke Bian.

"Is this my fault?" My toot. "You're the one who disappeared on your own, aren't you?" Ask again. "I don't know why you could do this to me" I said softly. I immediately grabbed my phone and my bag, Bian held my arm.

"Where are you going?" Ask. "I'll take you" he added. I let go of the handle.

"You don't need to know" I replied. "And yes, don't ever look for me again" I left after saying that and intended to look for Randu.

  I drove my car fast, I was confused where to look. I really feel guilty for him. At the red light, I picked up my phone and checked something. Sure enough, I guess it must have been Bian. He purposely sent me and her a picture, as if we were sleeping together. I really never thought, why Bian can do that to me. I hit my steering wheel in annoyance. Suddenly my phone that I just threw rings. Om Haris, if he calls just to talk about Bian I'll turn him off.

"Hello ... What's up, om?" My toot.

"Where are you Sof?"

"In the car" I replied.

"There's a project we need to discuss today"

"Now?" I'm lazy.

"Yes, as soon as we get to the location"

"Yes, we met there" I said.

"Okay, wait"

"Eung" I immediately turned off the connection. Looks like I should give a little time to Randu. The reality is that nothing happened to me and Bian. But somehow, I'm not as sorry as usual when I remember him as my little friend. I let out a rough sigh, it became very complicated.

  After arriving at the location, I immediately looked for Haris. But suddenly my steps weakened, Bian was there too. I lazily walked closer to Haris without looking at that sexy little face.

"Can you finish quickly?" My toot.

"No idea where you're going?" Ask about Haris. I just grinned.

"Sofi has a little business" I replied. Om Haris just nodded his head.

  I didn't know it was God's plan or Bian's plan, but we went back to the meeting even though I initially said I didn't want to see him again. And what's worse is that almost all day I have to go with him here and there to see his project. As for Haris, he left the forum.

  It was already evening, Bian and I were on their way to the restaurant. I refused and was going home, but Bian kept pushing and I ended up coming. I kept staring out until my eyes caught something.

"Bian stops Bi" I forced Bian to stop as my eyes saw Randu sitting in a garden. I was about to get out but Bian held my arm.

"Where are you going?" Ask.

"That's Randu, I want to see him" I replied. I take off Bian's hand and get out of the car, I run to approach Randu and followed by Bian.

I was about to call her name but my steps stopped when I saw Ji Han coming to her with two cups of cold cappuccino that Randu likes.

"You saw it, right?" Ask Bian who is already beside me. I didn't answer anything, I just kept quiet. Randu who heard Bian's voice immediately looked back. We were just as silent before I finally chose to go from there.

"Sophy!" Call Bian. I stopped and turned around.

"Just this once, leave me alone" I said. I then walked in no direction. I cried all the way through and maybe everyone thought I was crazy. At night, I finally stopped at a bar.

     For the first time since I was an adult, I entered a place like this. I forgot, but it seems like I almost finished three bottles of that alcoholic drink. My head is dizzy, sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry. Suddenly I felt like I couldn't control my own head, like he was about to fall.

  I put my head on the table. I think my head is heavy. And then I forgot what happened next. Except, the voice of someone calling my name came up to me and carried me. I just wish today was just a dream. Hope so...

Seriate.....