Married by Accident
I'm not okay

The cloud started to hang

You are a light in a dark heart

When cold hugging the body

Your warmth always enveloped me

All passengers seemed to enjoy their journey accompanied by a newly released song called Renjani. Renjani is no exception who sits among the other passenger seats. His eyes were swollen from crying all night.

Hearing the song Renjani more sad, the wound in his heart more painful considering the moment of security with Kelana. The shadow of Kelana and Elara on the same stage is still attached to Renjani's head. Actually Renjani does not matter if they play violin together but from the beginning Kelana did not want to be honest.

Kelana was wrong to leave Renjani alone for Elara on their wedding anniversary. Kelana hurts Renjani in order to fulfill her promise to Elara. Renjani cannot forgive Kelana's mistakes.

Renjani looks out the window, the sun seems to peek from the hill overgrown with trees and rice fields below. He's gone this far. Renjani does not yet know her purpose, she just follows her heart.

Renjani is unlikely to go to Sumedang because Kelana will definitely look for him there. He also deactivated all social media.

Father and Mother, in a few minutes the train will arrive in Bogor, for all passengers to end the trip in Bogor. Please prepare your luggage, we remind you to stay in your seat until the train stops. Thank you for using our service and see you on your next trip.

Renjani straightened up, he decided to go down in Bogor. A place that might not be Kelana come even though the distance is close to Jakarta. Renjani is not sure if Kelana will look for him, he just prepares everything possible.

Renjani drags her suitcase out of the station, her stomach rumbling from just eating fried rice from yesterday. He circulated the view of finding food vendors.

"Don't be afraid Re, you've been out of the house before." Renjani patted her shoulder encouragingly to herself. He crossed the road to the minimarket to buy food.

Renjani takes two onigiri, noodles, sausages and melon fruit considering she is pregnant. Renjani should start paying attention to food intake after this. She will learn to be a good mother.

After brewing the noodles and inserting the sausage, Renjani sat on the available chairs inside the minimarket and started eating.

While eating Renjani also looking for a place to stay while here. Renjani can still handle his work from here, he will contact Manda first.

"Hello."

"It's me Renjani, are you in the office?"

"Yes, I just got in, what's wrong?"

"Please don't tell anyone if I call you especially Kelana, I don't know when I can go to the office so I'll give you directions by phone and SMS, please, I can't tell you the same details but please help you and the others work together to fill my vacancy in the office."

"Good Ma'am."

"Today you call the printing press and have them finish the day after."

"Yes, Mother."

"I see the order number is already over 100, so we'll print up to 500 books."

"Okay, I'll tell the others, too."

"Thank you." Renjani hangs up the phone, grateful that Manda doesn't ask much. He's calling the right guy.

Renjani continued the journey by taxi after filling her stomach to the full so that she can live this day with strong— physically and mentally.

Before finding a place to stay, Renjani decides to go to the clinic to check on her pregnancy. Renjani just wanted to make sure that she was really pregnant. Renjani doesn't know what other women are going through while they are pregnant because she doesn't feel anything. It made no difference when she wasn't pregnant and now. Maybe the test pack was wrong.

"Are reservations online?"

"Not yet."

"Then please take the queue number."

Renjani takes the number in line and sits in a chair lined up in front of the obstetrician's practice room. Some patients came first. They were all accompanied by her husband, Renjani the only patient who came alone.

Renjani chuckles softly to comfort herself, she does not come alone. There was a baby in her stomach. This kid doesn't have a papa either. After all Renjani can be a mom and dad at once even though he knows it is not easy.

The saying of Kelana is true that being a parent is not easy but that does not mean they have to get rid of the baby. Renjani will consider this baby as her anniversary gift.

Renjani feels nervous as well as scared when her turn arrives. At first it didn't matter if he came alone but now he felt nervous.

"Please Mother." A female doctor in her 40s invited Renjani in. "Just the first time?"

"Yes Doc."

"Then we tense and weigh the weight first."

The doctor checked the blood pressure and weight of Renjani.

"His blood pressure is very low, ma'am, I'll give you vitamins plus blood."

Renjani just nodded, Kelana also had time to check her blood pressure at that time. Renjani thinks her blood pressure is now more stable.

"If you can tell when the last month came?"

"I forgot Doc."

The doctor smiled widely, understandably for prospective mothers like Renjani who did not remember the date of the month.

"What was KB before?"

"I never use KB, usually the husband uses safety or making out."

The doctor invited Renjani to lie in bed after asking a lot of questions.

"Other times wear skirts or dresses, ma'am, make it easier." The doctor asked the nurse to help Renjani change clothes because she would check the condition of Renjani's cervix.

"Sorry Doc." Renjani thought only her stomach would be examined, she was somewhat surprised when the doctor asked her to change clothes.

"I'll do a transvaginal check." Said the doctor while covering Renjani's body limited to the waist. "Maybe it'll be a little uncomfortable."

Renjani grimaced, not a little but a lot. It feels so weird.

"It's already 5 Weeks, Mom."

Renjani looked at the monitor in front of her, she could not see the presence of the fetus on the screen.

"This point is Mother's fetus."

Unknowingly Renjani groped her stomach, she actually had a fetus inside there. The view of Renjani is foggy, at this time the feeling is mixed between surprised, moved and a little happy. Maybe over time if the fetus gets bigger, the happiness of Renjani will also increase.

"After this, the mother must pay attention to the intake so that the growth and development of the baby is also normal, the mother's blood pressure is also too low, the consumption of nuts can also help."

"Doctor, I see usually pregnant people often nausea and vomiting but why don't I show such signs doctor?"

"The condition of pregnant women is not the same Mom, so you do not need to worry if the condition of the mother is different from other pregnant women."

Renjani asked many things such as food and drinks that he should avoid, sports to skincare affairs. Renjani asked in detail because maybe he could not often come to this place.

******

When you first set foot in the villa Renjani area immediately liked it. The villa is surrounded by walnut, rubber and angsana trees that make the air cool. The courtyard is filled with Japanese grass, there are arranged stones stretching from where Renjani stands to the terrace. The villa has two floors and 6 uninhabited rooms. Almost the entire building is made of wood.

"Mbak Rere huh?" A woman in her 50s welcomed Renjani's arrival. They had a chance to talk over the phone when Renjani was on his way here.

"Yes, I'm Rere." Renjani reached out.

"Call me Bi Tumi." Tumi returned Renjani's hand. "This is my husband, Edi." He also introduced the man standing next to him.

"It's actually Ma'am's private villa, the owner entrusted me and my husband to take care of it so you can only occupy the first floor."

"No problem." Renjani can stay in any room.

"I've got permission from the owner to rent one of the rooms, it can quite ease my work, Ma'am can clean the room yourself?"

"Of course."

"Sometimes villa owners come here to stay for the weekend so don't be surprised if suddenly there are strangers here."

Renjani nodded in understanding, she followed Tumi to one of the rooms on the first floor. The window faces directly into the villa's courtyard. Edi helps Renjani carry the suitcase to the room.

"The bathroom's over here."

Renjani circulates the view to all corners, the room looks comfortable with wooden walls and wood-patterned granite floors.

"Mak can also use the kitchen at any time."

"Well, thank you so much Bi Tumi for letting me stay here."

"Yes I also thank you, this villa is too quiet for me and my husband so we are happy if anyone wants to stay here, the place is secluded so there are not many fans."

"I'm looking for a place like this."

"If you need anything, you can call me." Tumi pointed at the phone above the nightstand.

After Tumi left Renjani threw her body on the bed. He took a deep breath looking at the wooden ceiling. Renjani raised her hand which was holding a photo of her fetal USG. Renjani smiled, rather than looking like a baby just like a pea.

Renjani closed her eyes, wondering what she was doing now. Maybe Kelana was with Elara telling a story of a past full of romance. While Renjani was barking in this quiet room alone. It was time to return to the real world after being made to float for a year on high ground. The Kelana Apartment is too high for Renjani.

"You can get through this Re." His whisper.