Pamite
24. Ill

"Yes, I made a mistake that Ayu couldn't stick with me. We're in divorce proceedings." I answered honestly as is. "Never told you, did he?" my many.

"No, I never communicated with him. Where's he going now?"

"I don't know, I can't call her number anymore. What do you have to do to defend my home? That means tell me how much I'm gonna have to be a prick?" ask me to divert the conversation.

Rifki then explained everything, down to detail and to the roots. I only nod occasionally, a sign of understanding. Though actually my head wants to break due to the endless trouble. Intention of the heart wants to relax, even visit crazy self.

Where else would I make money to pay those small installments? I was gently massaging my dizzy head. It's been this late and I can't close my eyes just to dream.

*

The next day, I decided to sell my usual motorcycle in Ayu's use everywhere. I had to do it, even though there are so many memories on this bike. With this bike, Ayu and I have been rained, overheated, made fun, ah it feels endless if I remember the memories with the woman.

Until now I was surprised, how can I darken my eyes when I met with Winda. Even better, I couldn't let go of that woman, even though I knew she wasn't better than Ayu.

"Go get the bike, I want to get the office. Transfer after the price I want. The day after tomorrow if you can." I contacted one of my friends who used to buy and sell motorcycles at market prices.

After getting an answer, I disconnected my phone and sat down on the porch seat staring at the phone screen containing some photos of my son, just a few. I don't know, their presence used to be noisy and annoying in my days, but now I'm missing their crowds.

"Nang, why haven't you left for work yet?" ask mom with a still tone.

Since Ayu left, mother would come every morning to clean the house. Even though he was angry with me, the woman continued to help me and worried me with all the malice and the severity.

"Yes, wait for a friend, help me sell this bike" I replied by pointing the bike in front of me with my chin.

"Less much debt if selling a motorcycle though. Whatever, the important thing is that the house your father gave you is not lost. If you meet again with Ayu, tell him not to be so insolent, to owe to guarantee goods that are not his unlawful property. I'm thinking, "mom's grumbling as he enters the house.

Just when Mom came in, my friend came and prepared to bring her motorcycle. I immediately handed over the letters.

"Gue take it, yeah. I'll call again."

I just nodded in response.

After my friend's departure, I went in to pick up the bag and get ready for work.

"Don't forget, ask for money with Ayu to pay off the debt. Ask for money from debt if necessary. It must be that one he used for his foya-foya with his mistress. Base ******."

"Heh, which is really you when you say. Want to be wrong you what not, still what Ayu does is outrageous. Is there a reason he mortgaged this house. Nevermind! I don't want to know, meet Ayu, or I'll find Ayu wherever Ayu goes. He should be sanctioned for what he did. I'll find out Ayu's new house."

"Mom don't have to get in trouble, ma'am."

"What do you want to do to save this house? Selling kidneys? Surprisingly, you become a less assertive man. Especially if the same Winda who even his own mother until now has never seen the trunk of his nose. Mom took care of your relationship desperately, but apparently that woman enjoyed the fruits of your hard work."

Ah, nevermind. Instead of arguing with my mother I prefer to go to the office, after all mother will not necessarily find a new home Ayu.

I don't want to blame anyone for this. I did not justify what Ayu did, but I realized she was like this and also lacked money from me.

*

Two days later.

I woke up from my sleep. For a few days I felt my head was in unbearable pain. I have taken different medications but nothing has changed. My body was getting thin and unkempt, I don't know, I feel my body is very weak and there is no passion to continue living.

How not? All I hear is that mom and Winda are asking for money. Sometimes I am also often scolded by both because the tek gives what they ask for. While my savings are also getting thinner and thinner. At times like this I miss Ayu's figure. The figure of the woman I just realized the greatness and strength of her heart. It has a soft heart as soft as cotton and an infinite big heart.

I woke up still staring at the ceiling. It feels so heavy on my head if I use it to sit.

"Yu, I miss you. There's nothing I can do without you, Yu." I don't know why I sobbed when I remembered that woman. If only I had been given a chance by God to fix everything, I would have used my time only for Ayu and the children.

Just this time I felt at the lowest position in life. I don't know who to lean on? I don't have a home to go home to or just rest my body from every problem.

"Nang?" call mom and open the door.

Aku diam tak menjawab. Aku dengar ibu berjalan menuju ranjangku. Lalu menyentuh dahiku dengan punggung tangannya.

"You have fever? I made porridge, yeah. It's all because of Ayu. He left here, but he left you trouble."

"Udahlah, ma'am. Don't talk about it all the time. I'm cape," I complained. "Mother if you don't want me to do this don't keep asking for money, ma'am to me. Mother is too wasteful too, mother bought anything that is not needed. I have to remember too, I'm a normal human mom. I have a cape too, once mother asked Galuh ma'am for help. He's been successful in town, right? Where's the gotong royong we always wake up to when dad's still around? I see my condition now," added me with melas.

My mother breathed a long breath before saying, "Yes, you have rest. Mother kitchen first."

I just nodded weakly. I don't feel like I have the energy to move my body. I hope Galuh is willing to help his own mother's finances.