The Fuck Man Cindy Milen
The Regrets That Always Haunt Me...

...POV CINDY ........

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Now I wake up when my feelings are overwhelmed with anxiety , suddenly I feel something bad is happening .

I unconsciously hugged Renal's arm tightly but I still couldn't close my eyes as I tried to fall back asleep .

Instantly I glanced at the wall clock which still shows at six o'clock in the morning . I also rose from my sleep while sliding the slowly Renal arm that was still coiled around my waist .

I picked up the origin of my clothes to cover my innocent body and looked at my mobile phone which is now in the charger, maybe Renal did that .

I slowly headed to the bathroom to clean my body which was still smelled by our sp*r*a last night .

After the shower I immediately dressed in my casual clothes and picked up a few strands of clothes that were scattered on the floor except for the man's bokser .

Instantly I felt embarrassed when I saw Bokser Renal and somehow my cheeks even blushed , finished putting the dirty clothes into the laundry basket I immediately headed towards my phone and released the cable that contacted the direction of electricity .

I also blame my phone when it was in a state of disable , Just a few seconds my phone turned on suddenly some messages came in from the same number , a number that is not stored in my phone contact.

I who was curious immediately pressed the number hesitantly to call him back but just now I was about to press the phone button suddenly my phone again rang and the same number is now contacting me again .

Without thinking for a long time I immediately pressed the green button and placed the phone on my right ear.

" Oh, thank goodness "said someone from there directly when the phone call was connected

I frowned when I heard a voice from there that seemed relieved but I thought it was implying something else

" Cindy "Call the guy, I don't even know who's talking there

" Cindy's back, Papamu— "Say her cut

" Ak—" My words cut off the person's words but quickly the person over there spoke again

" He died, yesterday" said the man to make my heart suddenly stop instantly

Instantly my phone just fell down even I stood by holding my body weight on the cupboard that was beside me at this time .

" This must be a joke, "I said in my heart as if I did not believe what the person said

I immediately took back my phone and luckily the call was still connected.

" Don't joke ! " I'm upset

" I'm not kidding, I've been trying to reach you from last night even from yesterday" he said, leaving me speechless

" Go home, at least look at your parents' dead body for the last time, Cindy "he said again in a sad voice to make me realize

" It's impossible.. Papa didn't die , yesterday he's fine. Please don't play me , Papa is still alive he— "

" He's really dead, ' Cindy" said the man cut my words but I turned off the phone unilaterally .

I don't want to hear the joke, I don't think it's really funny, there's no way Papa left me and Mama .

I immediately opened the message icon and read all the messages that entered my phone, a total of 312 messages containing almost the same . I hesitantly clicked on the still-unopened message .

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📨 Hugo

" Cindy, Papa is Critical "

" Cindy, Papa is Critical, she's looking for you "

" Cindy, go home "

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Now that I know that Hugo's been calling and texting me all this time, I don't even know where that guy could be .

Right now my hands are scrolling through those messages until I can finally read a message Hugo sent me last night while I was having sex with Renal .

" Cindy, your Papa died "

I immediately sat on the floor while reading all the same messages until last ordered at three in the morning .

I also bite my lower lip even my tears have now wet my whole face .

" no. no , Papa did not die he— "My words were cut off while slamming my phone in any direction to make the innocent phone was destroyed instantly

I grabbed my hair hard and instantly my tears broke as I watched our last fight, when I preferred Renal to the man who had raised me with all his effort , I chose the man I love but I hurt the man who raised me with all the love he had , in fact he always gave his affection and always pushed me even though I already had nothing more that I was proud of back then , I was really a useless child instead of , I —

" Papa "call me sobbing, now my tears don't even stop and continue to flow as I remember all the events that have happened lately to make my dike sound even more heartbreaking.

" Papa" call me repeatedly

" Papa, forgive the useless Cindy.. " I said softly while trying to stand up with difficulty

I also took my backpack and put some of my clothes in there, when I was about to put my clothes in my backpack suddenly I heard the voice of Renal who was now awake and calling me .

But I just ignored

the man called and kept putting some of my clothes in my bag but all of a sudden all of them fell on the floor, I was too concerned with my crying even my eyes were getting clouded , I want to quickly get out of here .

I heard that Renal kept calling me with a call of Darling but I kept silent without staring or responding to the call of the man.

As soon as I stopped my movements and bit my lower lip hard, I don't know why my chest hurts so much , why it's harder . I unconsciously shook off the hand of Renal who was touching my shoulder .

Instantly I felt pain while listening to Renal's voice, like there was regret that always haunted me at this moment , when I remember Renal in my mind I see Papa's wounded face that I found there and when I remember the man I love , I instead saw Papa's disappointed face there . I felt everything I chose was a mistake . Ought to.. Papa is still alive if I let go of Renal and also my happiness at that time, I shouldn't have done that .

I feel like I killed Papa, because of my selfishness now I have finally lost someone I love so much and respect .

I kept ignoring the gentle call from the man and I pulled the zipper on my backpack and stood up .

When I saw Renal looking at me with a worried look when we were looking at him and I could not just look at Renal because now my eyes are increasingly blurring my tears karma , instantly my heart felt unable to pump properly .

" Where are you going ? " Sanya was astonished as she held back my wrist that was currently about to leave

" LEAVE ! " My words were loud and for the first time I snapped at Renal when our relationship had improved so much

" What's up ? " Tanya is confused

" Papa, Papa Died Renal .

and - and this is all because of me, all my faults, Renal "I said angry while continuing to cry , Right now I feel angry with myself , It feels like my chest is getting sicker.

" Now let me go Renal, I want to see Papa "Say me again in a soft voice

" Cindy , let me take you" Renal said stammered but I was silent without answering the man's words 'I kept crying and kept calling Papa's name

" Dear — "call him again while sticking out his hand but again I pull him firmly when Renal's hand is about to touch my shoulder

" Papa, my Renal Papa" I said softly

" Cindy —"

" It's all my fault Renal, I-I made Papa die " I said again cutting off Renal's words and kept crying hysterically to make Renal pull my body into his arms while continuing to stroke my back regularly but it made me cry even more

I kept muttering my body to escape the man's embrace but Renal's embrace tightened up to make me unable to do anything but cry and cry.

" Dear calm down , we'll go together kes—"

" Hix..Papa , Papa , forgive Cindy Pa , Cindy has not apologized to papa , Cindy has not hixed.. Papa "my words continued to whine ignoring the man's words

" Renal, Papa ku Renal ...Papa died .. Papa died because I'm Renal, hiks "my words again continuously turn on myself

Immediately I felt Renal's embrace grow stronger as if I had no interest in letting go of the hug and I continued to cry as I continued to blame myself for Papa's death.

" Whatever happens, whatever happens, whatever happens, whatever can happen next, please Cindy stay by my side, we can get through this together " his whisper slowly as he continued to hug the body tightly

I closed my eyes with tears getting louder and slowly I opened my eyes again and I looked at Renal's face that looked hopeful after I felt the man's embrace loosening

" I'm – , deliver me Renal . I want to see Papa "My words slowly divert my real words

" This time I can't promise Renal, I chose you and I lost Papa instead . Forgive me. I can no longer be selfish with my happiness, because when I see your face I always see Papa's disappointment there , I can't promise Renal to stay with you "I said softly in my heart as I looked down at the man

I also touched both of Renal's cheeks and slightly tiptoed to give a small kiss to the man in a flash and continued to stare softly at the man .

" I love you Renal, very "I said softly in my heart