IT'S ME YOU HURT
A valuable experience

My God, his words really hurt me. Is the work of online ojek very despicable and low in his eyes?! My heart aches and struggles with this situation!

But I try to think positively. This is the challenge I have to face in this job. Every job has its own challenges. I just didn't think at all that this stuff I was carrying was cash, because other than the sender didn't tell me, it was put in a paper bag and it was wrapped in black plastic.

I realized I was guilty, because just now when I knew the flat tire should I immediately contact this Father, and reported that it would be too late because of the condition of the flat motorcycle tire and heavy rain. And again this item I brought is money, I do not know the nominal but still this is a valuable item. Surely the father was very worried earlier because there was no news from who delivered the goods.

I dare to answer his words that... Uuhhh, it hurts so much! I took a deep breath and I threw it out through my mouth, I calmed my mind so that I could answer his words well.

"I'm sorry sir, I was not told by my wife that the item I brought was cash. I am not too far from my father's house either. My bike was hit by nails and tires deflated, the current position is also raining heavily sir. If you want, you can take it here or wait for me to finish fixing the bike. I will send my location and photos of goods, as well as my condition here which is raining heavily on the father via WA. I will not escape Sir. I can guarantee that!"

"I don't want to know! My wife has given you the item to deliver to me! I don't want to know, I'm waiting for you right now! I'll give you thirty minutes, if you haven't arrived in thirty minutes, I'll report to the police!"

He then decided to call unilaterally.

How very disrespectful of this father.

I took a deep breath, then threw it through my mouth three times.

For some reason, this method is usually effective to make me calm and relax again. But right now that way has no impact on me. My heart aches, it's agitated, and I don't know what to do. Where should I find a repair shop or a tire patch in a place I have never been, and in a rainstorm like this!? Can anyone help me out of this situation?!

The cold air, the strong wind, the heavy rain and the lightning increasingly made my heart feel pain. So hurt... The pain of humiliation and poverty I felt made me feel tight in the chest! I feel really alone! No lover and no place to lean! The husband that even I carved the closest person in my life, left me!

I then remembered my father's message to contact him when something happened on the street. I want to call him. But... What would you think of me, if on the first day of work I couldn't solve my problem! Dad must not be happy to know that I have experienced something like this! I'm ashamed!! Lord... What am I supposed to do?

I took photos of the things I hung on the motorcycle, I photographed the condition of the rainy road, and the place where I was sheltering, then I sent them on the WA number. Don't forget I sent my location, too. After sending the message, my hands shook, I cried! These tears flowed down like this heavy rain. Is it so hard to find a mouthful of rice!? Why do unpleasant things always come to me?!

All the bad things that have happened in my life these past few months have crossed my memory, making me sob even more! I cried so much that I shed the feeling that burdened my heart! Is there no happiness for me?!

Usually I have to hold back my crying voice for fear of being heard by a house person. But right now I was shedding my tears, without having to fear the sound of others, as it was covered with the sound of heavy rain! I wept... Shouting out loud, lamenting my fate!!!

I was surprised, to the point of making me jump from where I was standing! I wiped away the tears that were still left on my cheeks. Is this a demon?? Tuyul?? Death angel??

Oh, my God, forgive me! It seems like an ordinary human! I did not expect that beside me there was a Father in a wheelchair looking at me with a sad look. It was like he felt my sadness.

Since when was this man beside me? I'm not even aware of his existence? When did he come to this place? The feeling since I was alone in this place!

"I arrived here when I was busy with my cell phone." It seems he can understand the meaning of my gaze.

"Oh.hmmm." I replied, nodding my head and trying to smile that seemed forced. How not, I'm still shocked by his whereabouts.

"I don't know what's going on, but I see you still have the perfect health and organs to work with."

"I lost my leg in an accident with my wife. My wife died at the scene, and I lost both my legs. I had to lose my job as a security officer at a private company. I can't even stand on my own two feet! Initially all my needs must be helped by others, until to urinate I can not alone! Not to mention when hearing people's words, there is something like judging me, as if I got a curse from God. So painful! I feel very bad as if I am the most miserable in the world!"

"But when I feel helpless, I have no place to share grievances, no more strength and hope to live, as if my problems are endless. Losing both legs, losing a wife, losing a job, and having to live and struggle to raise my children alone, problems came in and out, as if endless. Then I realized that I had moved away from God. I am more focused on my life than on surrender to God. I could not see the great grace of God in my life. I then began to give up and hope to God. God's source of strength and a place to complain."

"I began to accept my circumstances! The burden on my heart was slowly light. At least I still have a hand to work with and support my two children. The severance I received from the company where I used to work, I made capital to open workshops, and small businesses at home. I can support my two children through my own efforts. Ah, that's my son. I called him when it was raining, and he said he was on the way home, so I came to pick him up to bring him an umbrella and a rain jacket because it was still raining and the wind was strong."

This man spoke at length. He was like a man who came to comfort me and advise me. I got strength from his words. Like getting valuable experience from the story of the Father. It turns out that there are more people out there than me, and he can rise from his downturn.

The rain is starting to stop now. I saw a boy in a blue white uniform come down from the angkot.

Ahh, Didn't this father say that he had a workshop? I told myself to ask.

"Sir, you have a workshop?? Where's dad's house?"