Marrying the Killer of my Girlfriend
FEAR OF UNREASONABLE

I'm still leaning on his shoulder. Waiting for her story about Helena.

However, a few seconds passed, Josh was silent as if he did not want to start the story about him and the beautiful woman like Barbie.

“So..?” I asked him and urged him to talk immediately.

In my heart, there was a boiling feeling of jealousy.

However, I also couldn't help but know the whole story of Josh Rainer's romance with Helena.

I'm very curious.

Josh was still silent, I then glanced at him and saw him smiling broadly.

“So howa? How about a smile?” I said while pinching her cheek.

Suddenly, those smiling lips were already on my forehead.

Josh Rainer kisses my cheeks.

“You know Selena? The one thing I love most about you is your great curiosity.” he said teasingly.

Yosher!

Don't pretend to flatter me, I'm sure you'll want to say that I'm a very cool woman!

How can anyone try to fall in love because they see their lover has a high level of curiosity?  

“Serious. I love it when we play detective-detective when I pretend amnesia at the time. I will never find a woman like you who can catch all my leads and is able to take me out alive from that house,” she said, gently stroking my hair.

I smiled amusedly.

Does Josh have a fetish with a female kepo?

 “Josh, that's not curiosity, but instinct. Instinct to save the person I love alive no matter how,” I say that and then kiss her cheek.

Josh looked wide-eyed when he heard my words.

The look on his face was hardened, stiff.

Josh did not stop there.

He then pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

“If I.. make a mistake that makes your life go not as it should, will you forgive me?”

Huh huh?

What does Josh mean?

“What do you mean?” many confused.

He looked at me, hugged me tight.

“I was just wondering.. If I let you down once, would you leave me?”

L'm…

Why did Josh Rainer suddenly ask this question?

He then let go of his embrace.

“I just want to know. Because.. I can't really afford to lose you Selena.” she said slowly.

Oh my goodness, the sweet action happened again!

I smiled excitedly to hear it, but somehow Josh's face still looks upset.

It turns out he's still waiting for my answer.

“I have chosen you, I must accept the consequences of the happy and bad things I met with you. Surely I would be disappointed if you deliberately make a mistake, but I will try to erase my disappointment because I love you Josh Rainer. Loving yourself for who you are, your good and your bad. And I have to be ready with that,” I explained.

Josh's face still hasn't changed, stiff. However, now he kissed my soft hand.

“But, I never like being lied to. If you have something to say, say in front of me,”.

She kissed my cheek many times with her soft lips.

“Every second, my love for you is like growing steadily,” he said again with his flat face.

I don't know why, hearing this makes me laugh.

“Josh, I didn't know that you could also be funny,” I said.

He then pinched me.

“I'm serious, Darling.” he said annoyed.

“I'm also serious about listening to your story with Helena! Let's start!” I said I thought back to the topic that should have started from here.

Josh's face is back. He then held you again in his arms.

 “So, my father and Helena's father were close friends since childhood, and they always joked to marry me and him when we grew up.”

Hearing this first explanation alone had already torn my heart apart.

But I still listen carefully.

“Helena is my only close friend since I was a child. With me being so introverted, only Helena can understand me. Helena is able to make me forget my problems and make my life easier.”

I'm breathing now.

 Josh and Helena are that close.

“Until finally.all the friends in Junior High School and High School love to match-make us. Somehow, Helena used to tell everyone that she was my lover, and I thanked her. Because if not so many women try to get close to me. I'm very uncomfortable and don't like crowds, and Helena knows I'm uncomfortable and always helps me out of trouble.”

Helena who admits to everyone that they are lovers?

Right that?

“Everyone always says that we couple goals. But, no one knew that we were actually just pretending to be lovers. Even Aldebaran didn't know that we were just pretending. He was sure we were both lovers because we often heard our romantic conversation in my room. In fact, I only helped Helena to develop her acting talent because she aspired to become an artist since childhood.”.

Really so?

So all that is just for acting conversations?

If this is true, Ale deserves to say that Josh and Helena often have romantic talks since childhood, such as not being able to lose each other and dreaming of getting married together in the future.

 “Until finally. Helena and I went to college together in America, she majored in acting art while I studied music at the same college. At that time, Aldebaran also attended the same campus as us, but he took economics and had almost finished his final year. From there I saw something different about Helena.”

Different?

Is Josh Rainer starting to feel different feelings for Helena?

“I know the movements of people who are in love. I can see how my dad used to be so smitten with Celine. And then I saw Helena doing the same thing. He acts like a woman in love, but not with me,”, Josh Rainer said.

Not with Josh?

Did.he means when Helena once liked..

 “But with Aldebaran,” he continued later.

Oh I remember!

Helena was talking about this when Ale and I were eavesdropping from Josh's attic back then!

“I can't explain the details, but I was very sad and disappointed at the time. I do not imagine my only friend, the person I have considered as my own sister instead fell in love with Al. My half-brother who always wins from me in everything,”, said Josh Rainer.

I don't understand what Josh means.

“Win in everything?” I'm trying to confirm.

Josh nodded.

“I'm sorry if I sound so childish, but that's how I felt about Aldebaran back then. He was always my father's favorite son. He was always talked about in our extended family as a very talented, supple, fun kid, inheriting my father's business brain because it was so smart. As long as you know, Al graduated from S1 in America when he was 19 years old, so smart he was,” said Josh Rainer.

I smiled little considering how incredible Ale was, even though she had been raised from an orphanage since birth.

 “I know it's not Al's fault, but since he came I've been feeling increasingly unhappy. You must know how Celine treated me badly from childhood. With Al coming suddenly in our house, I was getting invisible to my father. It's like everyone never thought I existed. I was cold, arrogant, introverted and obsessed with music, which was always considered one-eyed by my father who was a famous businessman. Only Helena and my grandmother really care about me.”.

I know, Aldebaran must be very liked by everyone because of his flamboyance.

However, I didn't know that Ale's passion could suppress Josh Rainer's mentality like this.

I'm trying to stroke his shoulder.

“So, when Helena was also smitten with Al's charms, I felt Al always took everything that was entitled to be mine. And I hated him so much back then.I was so young that I easily hated him.”.

“Don't tell me afterwards you confessed to Helena that you loved her all this time? Just because you don't want him with Al?” I wondered where this conversation would go.

Josh Rainer looked at me dumbly, with a sad face he nodded.

“I was too young and too stupid to realize that life is not just for hate, especially for my own brother. Helena was shocked by my confession back then but she understood that my life depended on her too much. He finally accepted me, but I don't know if he really loves me because it seems like he's just afraid of rejecting me. He's afraid I hurt myself if he doesn't accept my love.” explained Josh Rainer.

Oh naw.

That is, when Josh Rainer deliberately cut off Helena's love for Ale? Just because he's angry?

And Helena accepts it just for keeping Josh feeling and for his mental good? not love him at all?

And now, Josh Rainer is leaving Helena who has sacrificed his feelings for Ale to go with me?

Josh. I know you went through a series of stressful things as a kid.

But I was not very sympathetic with your attitude at the time.

And...

I don't know why I'm scared..

What if he did the same to me?

Hurt me and after that just leave?