Marrying the Killer of my Girlfriend
BLOOD BROTHER

Some negative thoughts are now attacking me.

Josh Rainer asks Helena to be his lover just because she has helped him deal with the bitter and sweetness of life all along.

Did he have to return Helena's favor like this?

What if that happens to me too?

What if Josh Rainer's confession to me was just because he felt he had to reciprocate with me?

Just because I had woken him up from amnesia and helped him escape the clutches of death?

What if all those sweet words were meaningless?

That maybe Josh Rainer just wanted to thank me.But never serious with his words.

What if it also happened to me?

Josh seems to know I'm doubting him.

He held my hand tightly.

"Selena. I said many times that what I did to Helena at that time was immature. I learned a lot from my mistakes and I guarantee I won't do anything unfair like this for my partner."

Is that really so, Josh?

My feelings were uncertain, but I tried to listen to the story again.

“Since then, Helena and I started being a formal couple. I love him so much as my true friend, but I never know if this is also called love? And I think Helena is also trying hard to change her behavior from before as a close friend to an actual lover.”.

.....

“And did you finally love her?”

I've never been more curious than this.

“Selena. I finally realized that my love for you is much deeper than my love for her. And I can only feel this when I'm with you. You introduced me to Selena's true love.”

Is that really so, Josh?

I hope all your words are trustworthy, truly love me and not just out of return.

“Until the end, my father was very ill. I really wanted to see me marry Helena, just as she and Helena's father always talked about a long time ago. And I finally proposed to him.”

“So just because of your father's request you applied for him?” manywould be surprised.

First, she invites Helena to date just because Helena has always been nice to her and she doesn't want to see Helena with Ale.

Second, she asked Helena to marry just because her father wanted her to.

I'm really worried about the way Josh thinks and feels in a relationship.

Does he love me unconditionally?

“My biggest reason, yes. However, from within my heart I also want to start building a family. I barely have any close friends and I only see the single nicest woman in my life, and that is Helena. And I love Helena so much and I've considered her a part of my family for a long time. But. is it love? I myself did not care much at that time.” said Josh.

“How can you marry someone but not love that person?” I'm getting a little clueless with the way young Josh Rainer thinks.

As well as adding to my list of confusions about its mysterious nature during this time.

“Selena.. I never felt love myself. I was devastated when I lost my mother, I think she was my first and last love. Because I don't know how to form love with a real lover. Helena's presence and affection for me was enough by then. Until finally, I can only know what love is when you come and save my soul and body.” said Josh.

Oh.

I think I should express my turmoil.

"Are you sure you love me? Are you sure you're not just trying to repay my kindness?" I said worried.

Josh's face immediately turned sad.

"Selena! I love you so much and please do not doubt my love! I've really never been this happy since my mom died! You're everything to me! You kind of gave me the breath to see the world in a different way, no longer skeptical.. I will continue to love you even until I have to die from love itself!" says emotional.

Oh Josh!

I started to sympathize with him.

And start to understand..

Josh Rainer has been used to living in solitude and not being noticed by his closest people since childhood. Obviously he also had difficulty in identifying and expressing his feelings....

All this time, he lived by trying to throw away his feelings, always going forward with logic. Because he knew every time he used a heart, he was always inferior to an environment that never thought it existed...

His various achievements in international music competitions may be just his escape. Because he knew only in the world he created could he be at ease, not with the world of the conglomerate that had kept him apart from his biological mother, he had an evil stepmother and a father who sided with his own brother...

All this time, she's always been in her shell and has great respect for people who are truly sincere beside her, like her grandmother, Helena, me..

Until finally, he dared to use his feelings and heart for me now..

"I may not be the perfect guy. I have many shortcomings, but I always keep my words and promises and willing to do anything for the people I love.. if only I could have felt the pain and she lived. I would have felt the pain for a lifetime if I could have seen my mother's smile to this day.. but I had no power as a child.."

Oh naw.

My tears are now dripping.

I trust you, Josh.

And I'm so moved.. That you juxtapose your love for me is the same as your love for the mother who gave birth to you..

And I really feel like her sadness in life is now also looking for me.

"I won't doubt you anymore." I said as I hugged her tightly.

He is now trying to cover up the fact that he has also just shed tears.

"I wouldn't be able to lose you Selena." she said.

I stroked his head gently.

"I will always be by your side. Even if the world's against you," afterwards I kissed her cheek and pinched her cheek to make her laugh again.

We smiled and laughed again.

"Next!" I support him to continue his story.

"Where did it go.. Oh yeah, so the opposite of what I expected, after I proposed to her Helena turned me down. I was very stressed at that time because I was unable to fulfill my father's last wish. At that time Helena rejected me because she was not ready to fulfill the responsibility as the wife of the heir to Gurnawijaya who will struggle with important meetings of socialites and charities. She still wants to continue to achieve her goal as a famous actress without seeing the circumstances I really need,” explained Josh.

“Then we officially separated at that time.. a year later, the accident happened. I finally know what true love feels like. I also finally figured out why Helena and I were not God-sanctioned to be together, because our relationship was one that needed each other. I need Helena to continue my father's wish whereas Helena needs me to continue to exist after she finishes pursuing her dream.”.

Oh God..

I think what Josh Rainer and Helena are doing is hurting each other.

Both know that they lack love, yet they stay together because it benefits them.

Without them considering that to live happily, you would want to love and be loved by the person you love the most.

“But.. when I heard.. Helena cried when she saw amnesia, and she didn't seem to want to lose you, Josh. And he was willing to change himself to feel what you were feeling at that moment.. What does it mean now that Helena has truly loved you?”

Josh looked at me deeply.

“If he loves me, he'll return my proposal a year ago. And if he loves me, he'll also come to that night even though he has a job he can't leave. I think he just felt so guilty about the accident. She was so guilty of not replying to me and thought that I started hurting myself because of the uncertainty from her.”

He's now stroking my cheek again.

“Selena. But I am also grateful because with the accident, I can finally feel the most beautiful feeling I have ever had on this earth.” he said now kiss my hand back.

I'm melting hearing it.

But she still sympathizes with Helena.

“You have to explain everything to Helena. He needs reassurance to get on with his life,” I said demanding.

“Honey, my relationship with Helena has ended since a year ago," he said.

"And you know that even if I met him again that night, nothing would change. That night I just wanted to encourage him to keep fighting to achieve his career goals and not to be burdened with me anymore. He is already free.” obviously.

I still disagree.

“He deserves an explanation that actually happened, let alone Becca making up stories about you. And he also deserves my thanks for doing my part so well before I came to you.”

Josh Rainer smiled broadly at me. He kissed my forehead.

“Alright, I'll talk to him after we go to Indonesia? Or do you want me to fly him here?” Josh Rainer teased me.

I shook my head tight.

“You are mine now, Josh Rainer. And I don't want to share it with anyone,” I said jokingly.

We laughed and I put my head back on his back.

“What else do you want to know about me? You haven't even asked me at all,” said Josh.

I take a breath when I want to say it.

“Actually what secret did you say back then was only known to you and Ale? And actually like your relationship with Ale? Why would Ale bother to help us and disagree with her own mother, Celine?

Aldebaran now the gentian sighed.

"This is going to be a very long story." whispered to me.

I keep nodding, no matter how many nights we have to spend telling stories, I will. Because I really want to get to know Josh Rainer to keep loving him.

“Selena.. actually. I also just found out in recent years that.. Ale is my biological brother from the same father and mother. She is my biological sister.”