Muara Kasih Single Mother
Just Feeling the Pain
While in a different place. Firhan and Wati once they reached Bu Yeni's house, also went straight into the room. Just like Pandu and Ervita, Firhan and Wati also need a period of calm. Re-describe the events that just happened.
"Maas ...."
Wati gently called her husband who was now sitting on the edge of the bed with both hands rubbing his face. Wati knew very well that Firhan must have been hurt and disappointed. However, Wati is not a selfish woman. He will give time, will always accompany Firhan. As long as Firhan wants to change, Wati will always accompany her husband.
"Hmm, yes," Firhan replied briefly.
Wati finally took a seat beside Firhan and then rubbed her husband's back. Wati knew that maybe Firhan was being shaken by his emotions. Trying to put yourself as Firhan is indeed a difficult thing for Firhan this time.
"You're okay, aren't you? You can tell me the same story," replied Wati.
Firhan let out a long sigh and then lowered his face. Because his heart is now feeling so sick.
"I feel pain, it just .. it feels weird. In the past, I rejected him. When Ervi came and gave USG evidence, I dodged it, and I refused. Even when I was KKN in Jogja and saw the baby in Puskesmas, I made fun of him, I said that Ervi's seed was mixed with the seed of the man who is now her husband. So bad I used to be. Now, when he calls me Om, it feels like my heart hurts more. Is this God's vengeance for me?"
Firhan thought that all of this was God's vengeance for him. In the past, he refused and also dodged. Firhan also remembered all with his treatment of Ervita first. Now when Indi, whom he now believes is his daughter, calls him Om, Firhan can only feel his pain.
"If only I had been responsible, the boy would have called me Dad. Unfortunately, I have sinned. When he called another man Yayah, I was not willing" Firhan said.
Wati nodded her head. She knows how her husband feels. However, everything has already happened.
"Sabar Mas .. Sometimes God does allow it to happen. I do not judge you, but indeed Indi may be closer to the heart, inwardly with his Father. None of that is wrong either, Mom. Because children also have a clean heart, they can recognize anyone close to him. That's what makes Indi know that his father is her husband, Madam Ervi," replied Wati.
She tried not to judge her husband. He just gave an honest speech. A child can indeed be close even not who has a blood relationship with him. All because there is a connection that can happen by heart. After all, all this time the figure that Indi has always seen is Pandu. Naturally, if Indi yearsya that his Wayah is only Pandu only.
"I know .. stupidly I'm just disappointed and hurt right now. Is all this really God's punishment to me?"
Firhan nodded his head faintly, then he looked at his wife's face. "If you marry me and you still can't conceive how?" ask Firhan now.
Not skeptics. However, Firhan feels that he is not capable and mighty enough to be able to fertilize Wati's ovum cells. No more power. There were only a few minutes left, he could no longer continue. E-rectile dysfunction that makes him feel that giving Wati heredity is considered very difficult.
"It's okay. We seek, pray, and try. Earlier, we also heard that Mbak Ervi does not grudge you, hopefully this will be a good start. No one swore and swore. That's a good one, Mas," replied Wati.
Firhan closed his eyes for a moment and then shook his head. "Then, I sinned by taking away the girlhood of him who was my girlfriend. Now, the punishment is I suffer like this. May God still have mercy. So tragic is my life, my biological son just called me Om, if until I can not have more children, it feels like all this punishment is perfect for me," Firhan replied.
"There are times when not to judge all is punishment. Maybe God is trying us. We always seek God and hope for the best. God willing, all will be well."
It was clear that Wati had calmed her husband. Instead of assuming everything is a punishment from God, it is better to be closer to God alone. If you are close to God. God willing, everything will be good. The best in the eyes of man, not necessarily the best in the eyes of God. But what is good in God's eyes is best for His servant.
"Don't be discouraged, Mas. Thank you, you have strengthened your heart to come and apologize. What you're doing is right, Mas" said Wati.
"And if Indi wants to call me Dad, I'd rather, '" Firhan replied.
"Other times, approach me carefully. If Indi is not able to accept it is okay," replied Wati later.
Everything takes time and process. For that, it is better to approach it well. If one day Indi wants to call him Dad, that's fine. If not, then yes Firhan could not refuse him.
"It's just the pain I feel now. After, five years of time passed," Firhan said with a disappointed heart.
If at Ervita's house, Pandu who was afraid if Indi call Dad to someone other than himself. Here, Firhan is disappointed because he was rejected by his son. The dilemma of the men with their hearts.