The Fading Love
the gendong papah

Inayah POVs

I was so tired today, at school, Aska did not want to stay, I had to accompany her all day at school, I also happened to return bad luck, my homework just left this morning.

Forced after going home from school and cooking lunch, I continued cleaning the house, washing clothes and others.

I was really tired, my back wanted to come off, I wanted to go to bed, but again I forced myself to wait for Zidan to come home, maybe because of fatigue, I just fell asleep.

"Astaghfirullah, I fell asleep" I woke up feeling my neck hurt, I wrote the clock that showed at 11 p.m., there was no possibility of Zidan coming home. Well maybe Zidan is still busy, I'm back in the room, surprised you saw Zidan sleeping in the opposite direction.

"Zidan" I murmured slowly, I stepped in to make sure, afraid I was dreaming and just imagining me like yesterday. Where I fantasized Zidan came home and went back to sleep hugging me, but in fact it was all non-existent, Zidan never came home.

I touch his arm, I don't dream, it's really my Zidan, the two corners of my lips are raised to form a smile, I'm so happy, in fact this is not my imagination alone, I sat on the edge of the bed right in front of Zidan. I hugged Zidan because I missed so much, it seemed that Zidan did not like it, I was pushed hard to fall to the floor.

"akkh" I squealed as my back landed roughly on the floor.

"Disturb Banget anyway, don't see me sleeping, huh!" my lips quivered as I said my apology.

"ma-af, Zi, I'm so glad you're home, I'm too happy to disturb you to sleep, sorry"

"lebay!!!" after a while, Zidan went back to sleep with a change of position, I could only look at his sturdy back. As strange as Zidan's attitude has become lately, Zidan has grown increasingly violent, but he can also turn romantic at the same time. I really don't understand his attitude. Zidan says I'm better, doesn't he know how I'm going every night waiting for him to come home, waiting for him from behind our door.

I want to see his tired face after a long day at work, and I'm called a lebay, how could you Zidan.

I woke up and went to sleep next to Zidan, I did not mean to sleep facing him, afraid that Zidan I was uncomfortable because I was still angry, even though I wanted to sleep in Zidan's arms. Maybe tonight I have to hold on first, tomorrow after Zidan's mood starts to improve, I'll sleep again in Zidan's arms.

.....

"Daddy" shouted Zidan thundering from the second floor, I who was busy cooking below hurried up to meet him. I saw Zidan sitting on the bedside staring at the closet in front.

"Why Zi, I'm cooking again"

"my tie is navi color mana! you throw it away, why don't you" Zidan got up and proposed all his ties in any direction.

"honey, do not scatter that, more difficult to hear" I approached, picking up the scattered ties again, while Zidan sat back with his sharp face.

"i've folded, I've put it in your drawer too" I said as I continued to search for Zidan's tie.

"if there continues where the tie is!"

"iya patiently I'm looking for the tie again" thankfully I managed to find the tie, the tie folded in a pile of ties that Zidan might not have seen, so did not meet.

"this" Zidan violently snatched the tie from my hand, then he stood in front of the mirror without saying a word. I came out immediately to finish my cooking, I stopped for a while in front of the door of Aska's room, making sure my son was done getting dressed.

"Aska" Aska lifted her head to look at me

"have you got your shirt on?"Aska Nodded with one of her thumbs pointed at me.

"if you have, come down son, we have breakfast, there is also papah Lo" said I'm enthusiastic, Aska was initially enthusiastic when I said the papa came home. But the smile that was floating disappeared instantly, Aska shook her head, I approached, equalizing my height with Aska, I tidied up the collar of Aska's shirt

"why, hm? he said he wanted to see papah, yesterday instead of Aska nyariin papa continue, huh?"

"Aska was afraid that papa was angry, mah" Aska hugged me, wrapped her little hand around my neck.

"but papa angrurin Aska continues if Aska deket-deket papah, mah" So afraid Aska with her own papa. I know and understand very well why Aska can be like that, from a small Aska not close at all to the papa. Zidan deliberately gave a hard upbringing to Aska, he said let Aska get used to living hard.

I have often told Zidan not to be too hard, I can see the height of the wall that Zidan built between him and his own son Aska. But Zidan was angry, after that day I did not dare to try to remind Zidan, even though my heart was afraid once, one day, one day, instead, there is a sense of dislike in the heart of Aska if considering how scared she used to be with Zidan.

In the end I just smiled, trying to calm Aska down.

"ma-mah pa-pah" suddenly Aska's voice stammered, there was a fear that I felt, I wanted to release Aska's arm, but Aska just tightened her embrace. Aska buried her face on my shoulder, I turned to the door of the room Aska, it turns out there is Zidan who stands with his hands folded in front of his chest. His gaze was so cold, O Allah, how Aska wanted to ask for a hug to his papa, the papa was like that.

"Zidan why?"

"want a hug or want to have breakfast, if you don't want to have breakfast with me I can go now to the office" Astaghfirullah, I hurriedly let go of Aska's embrace, I quickly let go, zidan had already left after saying that with his cold face.

"let's have breakfast"

At the dinner table, Zidan had a quiet breakfast, Aska did too, not daring the boy to raise his head let alone his voice to greet the papah that he so longed for. I also did not dare to start a conversation because of the incident last night, I think Zidan is still upset, looks once from his face. Cracks of wall clocks that continue to be heard along with the sound of spoons and plates clashing against each other on the dining table.

After finishing his meal, Zidan rushed to the office, I lowered Aska from her chair as usual, I held Aska's tiny hands together tailing behind her Papa towards the front room.

Zidan was tidy with his suit, I ventured closer to kiss his hand, Zidan replied by kissing my forehead, Aska standing behind about a meter away, Zidan said, the end of the shirt I was wearing did not come off at all.

"I'm sorry, last night I pushed you" I smiled at him.

"no, dear papa, I should be apologizing to you, I'm too glad you came home to disturb your sleep" I finally got back to seeing Zidan's smile.

"i'm leaving first, yes, you're careful on the road" I nodded, I felt the pull of my clothes getting tighter.

"Zi" Zidan didn't open the car door, he focused his attention on me again.

"hm, Aska is very upset with you, she is afraid to say hello to you first, you can not hug her, the Zi" well, why it feels tight to my chest, I ask Zidan to hug Aska, I ask her, aska is his son. I saw Zidan glancing at Aska who was standing behind me, her head poking out a little, hiding behind my body. Zidan's face softened.

"Aska" but her voice still sounded heavy, hopefully Aska understood her father's intentions.

"here" instead of approaching Zidan, Aska hid her face even more.

"Aska, it's called papah son, he said kangen right?"

"come here, or papah who went there" I pulled Aska's hand, Aska looked at me, I nodded as a gesture to Aska. Finally Aska ventured closer to her Papa. Zidan stuck out his hand for Aska's salimi, Aska grabbed Zidan's big hand and kissed him respectfully.

I was a little surprised, when Zidan lowered his body a little and lifted Aska into his carrying, Aska continued to look at Zidan, maybe he was just as shocked as me, I was moved, my feelings warmed up, my feelings warmed up, want to cry it feels

I can't remember the last time Zidan held his son like now, which must have been a long time ago.

"pinter school, do not fuss, no matter what the word mamah" Aska was silent, he just continued to look at the papa now his face right in front of his eyes.

"the horror doesn't speak" Zidan raised his voice a little.

"ii-iya pah, Aska denger" Zidan kissed the Aska sweet potato briefly, then he derived Aska from his sling, short, but very meaningful for their relationship.

"the father leaves, Assalamualaikum"

"Korasoallam"