The Fading Love
Not papah Aska

I don't know if what I said a few days ago affected my husband's mental health. I was really surprised by his attitude. It was two days after that time, I could see Zidan's change. It doesn't change drastically either, it's just different than usual. He came home early, Zidan hasn't been like that for the past year. Always Zidan said a lot of work, the worst thing is that Zidan did not go home for days and chose to sleep in the office.

"tumben's coming home fast, Zi?" I helped Zidan remove the shirt link, while Zidan had already opened the conclusion of his tie.

"why? I can't" I looked up at her face, Zidan was tall, and I was just over her shoulder, so I had to look up a little to see her face.

Zidan raised one eyebrow waiting for my answer, just as I wanted to open my mouth, Zidan had already landed his kiss, I clucked in annoyance.

"Where's the scale?" Zidan was seen looking for Aska who usually hid behind my body for fear of approaching the papa.

"play in the room" I said. I took over the tote bag from Zidan's hand.

"clean up there, I'll heat up the food" Zidan said without demanding, rising to the second floor, and I headed for the kitchen.

All his cooking was arranged on the table, but Zidan had not yet come down, did he fall asleep? I'll catch up with him, he'll sleep at a clock like this will just make his head hurt.

"Zi" there was no him in the room, when he was still bathing, or he was just bathing, but there was no sound of sparkling from inside. Sure enough, there's no one in there. I go to the balcony, usually he likes to pick up the important phone there, but also no, where is he?

"What's in Aska's room? no way, why was he there" I muttered to myself, although a little disbelief because it was impossible for Zidan to go to his son's room, but I still wanted to make sure, all of you call my son to eat too.

"As.." I clenched my lips back.a sight that was really hard for me to see.. Zidan was sitting on the bed holding Aska. I couldn't hear the father-son talk, but I could see Aska's terrified look on her face, maybe our son was still traumatized by her papa.

I stepped closer, as if they were aware of my presence. Zidan glanced at me and looked down again, I sat down in front of Zidan and Aska.

"again what chatter, ko mamah not invited" I trim Aska's hair a little messy, my son's face really looks depressed, what Zidan forced him to sit on his lap. Aska stood with the toy in her hand, she chose to sit on my lap and tightly hugged my neck, hiding her face in my neck. I looked at Zidan and Zidan as well, his face looked gloomy, I wondered what made these two men of different ages look uninspired. I touched the back of Zidan's hand and widened the smile.

"come down, I've warmed up the food" asked me and got a nod from Zidan. When I wanted to step up, my hand was held back by her, I turned around.

"Why?" instead of answering, Zidan took over Aska from my sling. At first Aska slightly refused by tightening her embrace on my neck, but after a little coercion, Aska finally wanted to be in Zidan's hold. Zidan stepped in without saying a word, I was silent staring at their departure.

"Zidan want to add more?" I saw that Zidan's plate was empty, but Zidan shook his head.

"Aska" Aska was called, but I looked at her. Zidan's gaze as usual, was cold.

"Aska, it's called papah son" Because he did not respond to Zidan's call, I was forced to participate in awakening Aska.

"Yes, why?" my shoulder slumped immediately after that sentence that came out of my little child's mouth. I turned again to look at Zidan who now changed his face. He felt pain too, when his own son called him uncle.

"Aska, papah son, why so om, it's papah you, not om you" I tried to resuscitate my son, but it was the headband that I got.

"he was, not Aska's papah, Jeje said, if the papah never scolded his son, never threw his son" My chest was very tight to hear my son's words, I was very sad, I don't know what Zidan is feeling right now, if he's feeling the same way as me.

"father Jeje, father gala, father Keyla. Papah Jeje always buy Jeje a new toy, papah Gala always inter Gala school, papah Keyla always carry Keyla" I saw my son who had been down, since then, now he dared to raise his head and look at the papah.

"Aska is never in papah love, Aska always got angry papah, Aska also can not sit at papah's feet. Papah also once threw Aska to the sofa, papah kick Aska's legs until sick, Aska time in the hospital. She's...." Aska pointed at Zidan with her tiny finger.

"not Papah Aska" said my son, shaking his head. I bit my lower lip and held tightness in my chest, while Aska got down from her chair and ran somewhere. I stared at Zidan.

"this is what you want Zi, this is not what you expect from each of your treatment to Aska, this is not Zi?" now that my tears are spilling, it really hurts my heart when Aska is really at the point of disappointment in her papa.

"satisfy you now Zi?" not a word was heard from Zidan. The man just continued to stare blankly at the direction Aska was sitting earlier.

"Aska was disappointed with her papa. Aska is angry with you, Zi. Zi.if your attitude all this time to Aska is because of our problems in the past.." I pause my sentence for a moment.

"then this denger Zi, I swear before you, Aska Al Birru Narendra is your son, your flesh and blood. Do a DNA test to get rid of that doubt in your heart, and be prepared to lose me and Aska after the DNA test results prove my point" I said firmly.

"because I'm tired of your doubts about me"