The Fading Love
Ship broken

We both sat quietly on the edge of the bed, the state of the room was still messy, did not know where to start, the shadow of a deep sleep when on the plane was gone, everything was just pseudo, all just, because the truth is, I have to face Zidan's tantrums.

The dirty house that was left empty for almost a month, whether Zidan went home after work and I was in the village, which Zidan certainly was not home, this house was empty, dirty, dirty, the things I left behind were still in her position, I remembered the state of my house before I left.

"Zi"

"hm"

"where were you as long as I wasn't around?" I tilted my head slightly to make it easier to look at Zidan, Zidan sat down and remained silent.

"Zidan" Call me because Zidan is still quiet. I touched the back of his hand.

"where are you? you're not home? didn't they?"

"i'm at home mamah" I guessed, where else would Zidan go if not to his parents' house. There was no one at home, no one to prepare a meal for him, so Zidan chose to sleep at his parents' house as long as I was not around.

"you're going to mama's house? why?" I'm not surprised, surely his mother has told me about me who came there, Zidan's question is just a stale.

"i'm looking for you, you don't have any news, the messages I'm sending you read, but there's not a single message you're replying to, I'm worried about you"

"you brought Aska with a sick state, you kept raining outside, you already know how my mother to you, why you are still desperate to come there" Zidan must be very upset, he said, it sounds clear from his tone. Zidan always forbade me to go to his house, given the attitude of his family who could not accept me and Aska.

"i had no other choice, only this time you went rich that there was no news at all" Zidan raised his head, our gaze met, Zidan shifted to erode our distance.

"sorry yes" Zidan hugged me back, I leaned against his chest that was getting that field.

"sorry for you, sorry for scaring you, sorry for crying, sorry"

"sorry that's for Aska too, right?" I looked up, it turned out that he was also looking down.

"sorry for hurting you, sorry" I put my face back on her chest, I miss this hug so much. I waited for him every day, now I can again feel Zidan's heartbeat so regular and soothing it.

"Zi"

"hm"

"i've really sent you a message, I ask your permission, if you don't believe me, I can prove, I still keep the messages I sent to you" Zidan said silently, but I felt the rubble in my head so comfortable.

"Zidan's..."

"yes, maybe I forgot, I'm rash because you're not at home panicking" I don't know if he really said that, or just to stop the topic of conversation that might be going anywhere, I just want to clarify, but Zidan seemed to refuse, maybe tired too and want to rest.

"you anyway, why also try not-so-rich-quickness that is, already at two o'clock, soon it's also dawn, want in order now also will not be right"

"we slept in Aska's room" I continued

"not a bad idea" and get a nod from her.

.....

Want last night whatever I sleep, I will also wake up when the chickens start crowing, the term alone, has become my habit, and will continue like that. I have woken up again, but the eyes are still sleepy, want to sleep again for a while even afraid of bad luck. I glanced at Zidan's burly hands that were perfectly coiled around my waist, last night we decided to sleep in Aska's room, sleeping three on the bed, I was in the middle of my two beloved men.

Slowly I removed Zidan's hand from the top of my stomach, I opened the blanket that covered the bodies of the three of us, I had to be careful to go down or grow up so as not to disturb them.

Maybe because of the movement, Zidan so twisted the direction of his sleep, I managed to get off the mattress without waking them. Blanket I re-rightenable his position.

My shoulders slumped as I stared at the door of my room in front. In the room there is already a warehouse that I have to clean, all because of Zidan, adding to my husband's work, huh.

"Astagfirullah" I was privileged when opening the door of the room, last night did not seem too messy, but now, why it looks so messy, There is even a pillow that came out, O Allah, Zidan....

I obviously had to hurry, at five I had to take a shower and wake up my two spoiled heroes.

First I had to get rid of the scattered glass shards, fearing that my legs would fall victim, it seemed like the support for the curtains had to be changed as well, there was a broken part, not just that one that had to be changed, my makeup mirror must also be changed.

I allow things scattered on the floor, sheets and pillowcases I open and want me to wash too.

Thank goodness for an hour or so, I managed to tidy up my room again, I threw my body into bed, enjoying being a difficult housewife to explain.

"o Allah, turn my tiredness into lilah" I stretched out my dark muscles, in five minutes I would take a bath

When dumbstruck like this, I immediately remembered again about the message I sent to Zidan's phone.

I was really curious, did he really read the message I sent, and just look at it, continue why he could be this angry, he said, even his anger was scarier than when we had a fight five years ago.

"what is there that I don't know is Zidan, yes" I muttered to myself, until the sound of the mosque began to sound, I rushed to take a bath.

"is there something that Zidan is hiding" my eyes were fixed on my wedding photo above Nakas, fortunately the photo was not Zidan throw, not just my wedding photo, there is also Aska when she was a baby, funny Aska, puffed up baby time. At that time I had difficulty carrying my child, my body was too thin, if in memory, the first time I was a mother, I really felt distress, she said, I took care of Aska alone without anyone's help. I wish my mom was there, but whatever the power, then mamah was very disappointed with the decision I took.

I daydreamed too long and thought stupid things until I forgot to wake my son and my husband.

.....