The Fading Love
expelled

Inayah POVs

After convincing myself, I decided today to go to my in-laws' house. Hopefully I still remember the way, I even forgot, when was the last time I went there, never once did Zidan take me to his parents' house, if there was a big event, too, I'm being asked not to come.

I was so foreign to my husband's family, and so was Zidan who was a stranger to my family, we had a different, difficult, foreign context to explain, for sure it's just our relationship that only concerns two people, me and Zidan, while my family and Zidan's family never united.

Sometimes there is regret in my heart for marrying a man whose status is much higher than family. I am often despised, humbled, in disgrace because of our different degrees. But all that I can do with my love and Zidan's equal, our sincerity in running a household without blessing makes me feel lucky and grateful, for having a husband like Zidan, the sincere man I met twelve years ago.

Aska doesn't want to go to school, my son has a little fever and it's actually night time, so I let Aska not go to school today.

I took Aska with me to my in-laws' house, I couldn't bear to leave her at home alone or leave her for a while.

"mom, where are we going?"

"we go to the house of the Goddess' grandmother" Aska shook her head in fear, her round eyes began to glaze over, I lifted Aska into the sling, my son's body hot.

"we're going to Grandma's house for a minute, baby"

"Aska doesn't want to mamah, Aska is afraid '

"that's Aska's grandmother" Aska still shook her head, her tears spilled already, I grabbed two pieces of tissue that happened to be on the table near me standing.

"yeah, Aska at Aunt Siska's house, how "Ask instead of nodding, instead of hugging tightly my neck, her crying broke again, my order taxi has also come.

"Aska does not want to stay, Aska wants to mamah" this is how Aska if fever, so chatty. Though Aska a smart child, easy to tell.

"we went to grandma's house, yeah. Aska kangen papah right?" this time Aska nodded, I actually wanted to cancel, but could not, if not leave now when else, I would continue to think about Zidan if I had not gotten any news at all.

"follow or stay?" I gave you a choice

"follow you" that's Aska's final choice. I rushed into the taxi. Actually it's not only Aska who is afraid, I'm afraid, but I don't want to meet other people, they're my husband's family, it means my family too, I shouldn't be afraid like this.

From entering a taxi to almost arriving at my in-laws house, I kept saying my thoughts to calm my heart, there was a feeling of doubt as well actually, there was an uncomfortable feeling that stuck my heart, hopefully everything went well, he said, it doesn't matter if I can be snapped, insulted or even rampaged, especially my mother-in-law, as long as I get some good news from my husband, that's all I hope for now.

My heart was beating more and more when the taxi car now stopped in front of the gate of my mother-in-law's house, the towering gate covered the luxury of the palace-like dwelling, owned by the Narendra family.

I took a deep breath before I pressed the bell, don't ask how Aska is now, my son is asleep in my sling.

There is not the slightest gap that can make people peek in even if only in the yard. Many times I pushed the bell, until a man wearing security came out to see me.

"who's looking, ma'am" the man said he wasn't friendly at all, he looked at me from head to toe.

"i'd like to see Mr Narendra?"

"have you made an appointment before?" how can I make an appointment with my own in-laws, but no wonder they won't recognize me, I'll never introduce Zidan at all, am I the hidden wife? that's a question that got stuck in my head, but now's not the time for that.

"i'm Inayah sir, his wife Zidan Narendra" I think he'd be surprised or at least a little respectful, but the man I'd expected to be about the same age as my papah was acting normal.

When I left earlier, the sky was fine, but now why did the weather suddenly change, the sky darkened, it had not rained yet, but a small lightning bolt began to strike.

My waist feels sore, since I went down earlier I kept holding Aska, a small murmur sounded from my son's mouth, his breath sounded warm, I touched his forehead getting hot again, just hotter, I want to leave immediately and bring Aska from here, there are about thirty minutes I wait, finally the gate is back open, the opening is still the same as before, just a little. I lyrics my mother-in-law who is behind the security guard, God, why should my mother-in-law, why not just father-in-law, at least he can be more friendly when talking, God, although the look in his eyes showed dislike to me.

"Do you want to go to my house?" Gosh, why is my mouth so stiff like this when it's faced with my mother-in-law.

"why!" the clash not only shocked me, but Aska as well.

"sorry mah, Ina---"

"DON'T CALL ME MAMA, I'VE NEVER ONCE ACCEPTED MY SON'S RELATIONSHIP WITH A POOR WOMAN LIKE YOU!!" I bite my lower lip hard, I hold my tears as hard as I can to flow, and I look down, not daring to look him in the face.

"ma-af, sa-I want to ask, Zidan aa-there's a task where, sa-I'm worried, from yesterday's departure, Zidan was hard to contact" maybe now my voice is heard vibrating, maybe, I dared to look at my mother-in-law's face, she smiled, not a sincere smile, but a smile that humbled me, looks like a smile.

"You should be self-aware, you are under the feet of my family, never dream of becoming queen in the Narendra family, my son's love for a country woman like you is gone, everything is gone, so be prepared to leave my son!" the lightning struck me in the ears, the same as my mother-in-law said that hurt my heart, the rain started to fall slowly. Aska in the sling hid her face in my neck.

"close the gate sir" I tried to hold the security guard's arm, I wanted to take shelter for a while, Aska's humiliation.

"mah, please allow Inayah to take shelter, Aska is sick, just for a moment, Inayah please "I plead with tears that have flowed down, hoping that my mother-in-law will pity her grandson once.

"it is none of my business, after all I have never acknowledged the child as my grandson" God said.

"close the gate sir!" snarled my mother-in-law.

"my brother please sir, let me take a short shelter, just ahead sir, my son is dead sir, my son is sick sir, please allow me a moment "

With the security guard pushing my body away from the gate, I almost fell down with Aska in the sling.

I tried to stand up and smite the iron fence, pleading with them the rich.

I collapsed in front of the closed fence, none of them heard my cry, they did not allow me and my son to take shelter even at the door.

"ma-mah, Aska cold mah" rain water began to pour over my body, I hugged Aska tightly which began to shiver in the cold.

"in-cold, in-ngin mah"

"yes dear yes" O Allah, where should I take shelter, these mansions are nonexistent

can be asked for help, I still sit hugging my son while waiting for the taxi I have called, I have no shelter.

"Zi, for your sake I'm our son

rained rich gini, for your sake I would knock on the fence of the mansion owned by your parents who never once allowed me and Aska to enter"

"you where Zi is"