The Lives of Five Hundred Thousand
Breath bathin

"Here you are, close the door!" I who was standing in the doorway hesitantly closed the door and walked towards Surya who was sitting on the edge of the mattress.

"What do you want?"manya curious.

Surya looked at me lustfully. He did not answer my question but pulled my arm until I fell on my back on the bed. I was surprised and was about to wake up, but Surya immediately overcame my body.

"What do you want?" I was in fear. I was afraid to see my dead husband trying to raise me.

"Serve me Nuri ! I want to give you a bathin's living" said Surya while forcing open my negligee but my hand held it.

"You're drunk, your mouth stinks of alcohol I don't want to serve you drunk."

"For many reasons you, it is your great sin to refuse your husband's will. I've been home for three days but you don't serve. Besides I'm not drunk I only drink a little." said Surya mas while continuing to force open my negligee.

I was silent to the speech uttered by Surya. It's true that during Surya's time at home I never wanted to be touched by him. But, I feel sinful to have rejected many times the desire of Surya to have sex.

When I fell silent Surya freely controlled my body. He managed to open my negligee and my underwear. And without speaking again, Surya directly stuck his blunt object into a narrow hole that belongs to me. I'm resigned. I close my eyes I don't want to see the face of the solar mas when I hook me. And when Surya continued to shower me at that time also Raihan's face was the one that was reflected in my mind. I don't know why I imagined the figure of Raihan who excites me. I held both my hands around Mas Surya's neck with my eyes closed and as if I enjoyed the pleasure that Raihan gave me until I realized that the one who raised me was my husband I shed tears.

Mas Surya collapsed his body beside me after being satisfied to spill his passionate desire. I wiped my tears and immediately picked up my daster that was lying under the bed.

"That dong Nuri.if serving me like before so we are equally delicious," said mas Surya with a big smile.it seems like Surya mas satisfied by my service. If Surya knew if I was that because he imagined another male figure who raised me, maybe he would be furious. I know it's a sin to imagine another man having sex with my husband. But, it is not my desire why the figure of Raihan arrived in my mind.

I exited the room leaving the sleeping Surya mas and walked quickly towards the room where Zain was sleeping. I sat on the bed and cried, sinking my face between my knees. I cried after being cared for by my own rightful husband. Why does it feel like my body is not sincerely treated by Surya mas especially he is drunk. And why do I imagine Raihan? I really don't understand.

I lay down my body beside Zain. in a state of sleep curled my tears still flowed endless.

"Tray..Raihan..!" in a sobbing I muttered to mention Raihan's name. I don't know why my mind is filled by Raihan at this time.

I don't know how long I cried until I felt tired and fell asleep hugging Zain. There was the sound of the dawn prayer ringing then I blinked my eyes that felt very sticky. Besides the tears from crying last night, I only slept two hours tonight. I forced my feet into the bathroom to take a big shower because I had to clean my body first before performing the morning service.

At exactly five in the morning I started making fried dough. I have to sell this morning. I have to earn money to meet our daily needs. Where else do I get money if not from the sale of fried foods because the results of the sale of crackers can not be relied on. Not no benefit selling crackers but more on the unusual manage the results of profits and capital because everything is controlled by my mother.

And it's been a week or so now I don't make crackers nor circulate to stalls. It feels very lazy because the results will only be given to his favorite child not for our daily needs. Often times mother protested why I no longer make crackers and I reasoned that there is no capital to buy the material.

I started frying three kinds of fried foods while occasionally yawning because I only slept for two hours. But the drowsiness I hold until I finish frying.

"That's why I'm finally running around too." I smiled happy to see the fry piled on top of the winnow and was ready to be circulated.

As usual I carried Zain in a sleepy state. It's a pity that Zain has to come with me to make money in the morning. When people are still sleeping soundly but Zain has to come with me to trade. I could not have left Zain at home despite my mother and husband because I was sure they would never care about Zain.

Before I trade I leave fried food first for Surya mas and mother on a plate. Despite my circumstances, I still think about their stomachs because I have the heart and the feeling to always love my parents and husband even though they have never been kind to me.

I took my feet down the street and went house to house offering my merchandise. When I took a short break on a wooden bench Raihan's people called me. I turned to her who was walking like a morning run if seen from her appearance.

"Mba Nuri's selling?" raihan asked me and I became nervous and looked down.

Raihan smiled and spread out his hands to take Zain out of my sling.

"Zain's just in an uncle's car, pity his mother's weight."

"Rai.it's okay Rai, I'm still strong." I refused but Raihan insisted on holding Zain and inevitably gave Zain to Raihan.

Raihan kissed Zain with anxiety without any disgust because Zain had not bathed. Zain laughed amusedly at the squid by Raihan. I noticed the interaction between Zain and Raihan that looked so familiar. Zain who is no longer awkward towards Raihan often acts spoiled. Unlike the attitude of Zain on his papa who often stay away or Zain prefers to play alone. because it all started from the attitude of Surya mas who never cared about Zain and as if he thought Zain was not in his life.

"Mba, I want to take Zain to my house, okay? mba Nuri just sell, let me take care of Zain."

"No need Rai, I don't want to trouble you. You have to go to college."

"Today's a weekend mba, I'm free."

"No problem mba, in my house a lot of water. I can bathe her in my house."

"But...!"

"Nothing but but..! Oya I want his fry mba, please wrap fifty thousand."

"Well, there's a lot of Rai. Who's it made?"

"For my breakfast and my mother mba. mba did not see my body big so I need to eat a lot. Anyway I just ran off in the morning so it feels really hungry."

I was astonished to hear the reason Raihan was about to buy my fry in large quantities. Either just an excuse or just pity me Raihan often helps me by buying fried foods in large quantities.

Whatever the reason Raihan I accept well because I do not want to refuse rizki. With a smile I put fifty fried foods in a plastic bag and gave them to Raihan.

"It's Rai...!" I thrust a plastic bag filled with fried food towards Raihan. Raihan smiled and gave me a hundred thousand dollars. I didn't take it but just looked at it.

"This is mba's money!"

"The money is too big Rai, why don't the money just fitting I have no change."

"The return is for Zain alone mba."

"Wheels..!"

"I gave it to Zain not to mba Nuri." Raihan put a hundred thousand in my hand forcibly.

"Please accept ya mba, for Zain's snacks."

I was stunned to see the hundred thousand money in my hand. Raihan again gave more money to me with the reason for Zain's snacks. If I think Raihan has a lot of money when he is a student who certainly costs a lot for his college. But why is Raihan so royal to me and as if he has no financial problems and I believe the money that Raihan has is not money that comes from his parents.

Instantly I remembered Raihan once told Ms. Rida that she went to college while working but what did Raihan work for? Can I go to college while working?

"Mba Nuri's...!"

I flinched from my daydream."Oh, yes Rai ..!"

"I'm taking Zain home now, okay?"

"Yes Rai, sorry to bother you."

"Absolutely not, my dear we go to the house uncle..Zain's going to uncle's house?"

"You uncle...!" replied Zain innocently.

"Yes already mba, we go home first. mba Nuri whose spirit of sales huh? may the bestsellers be sweet."

I smiled but inwardly accepted Raihan's prayer.

I continued to sell around until my merchandise ran out. I express gratitude for my sweet selling of merchandise this morning. Then I returned home with a smile on my lips. When I got home, I saw my husband was awake.

"Where have you been in the morning? did you forget at home there's a husband you have to take care of Nuri?" surya asked me a question.

"I've finished the fry trade around mas!" I finally came to my husband with the hope that my husband realized that my life was so difficult that I had to sell fried foods.

"What's? traveling fried trade? you really make me ashamed of Nuri, you lower my dignity as a good husband in the eyes of others.I think people I do not give a living to you so you have to sell around."

I did not expect Surya's response beyond my expectations. I think mas Surya will feel sorry for me after knowing I sell mobile fried food but in fact he is more concerned with good image and prestige of others.