The Lives of Five Hundred Thousand
Raihan Campus

Why is Surya still in my house? why hasn't he returned to Jakarta when I told him to leave. Is he waiting for me? Along the way I fell silent and thought about my husband who had not just returned to Jakarta. Raihan patted my arm rousing me from daydreams.

"What are you thinking about just being quiet?" Raihan asked but his gaze focused forward.

"No Rai, I was just thinking about how later on campus are you not ashamed to bring us to your campus?" I lied to Raihan when in fact I was thinking about my husband.

"I know I didn't think about that but I thought about Nuri's husband, right?" Raihan is like having a sixth sense he knows what I'm thinking.

"If there is a problem with the husband mba why it is not resolved properly is not even playing cat kelingan like this."

"Do you mind because I've been bothering you a lot Rai?"

"Oh, no. That's not what I meant by mba."

"Just drop us here Rai, I don't want to trouble you anymore. Sorry we've been troubling you a lot."

"That's not what I mean by mba, sorry my words have offended me. I just...!"

"You don't know how my husband Rai is, he can't solve the problem well." I spoke in a slightly loud voice because I was offended by Raihan's words.

Raihan stopped his car on the side of the road like he didn't want to argue while driving.

"What do you think if your partner says that you are a useless partner, insulting low education and stupid and not good at making money then compared to your former partner?"I finally told her why I avoided my husband with tears.

Raihan tilted his body and looked at me. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly. Then one hand of Raihan rubbed the clear liquid that came out of my eyes with a rush. I cried in front of Raihan without shame. Weep over my unfortunate destiny. Raihan brought my face leaning against the chest of his field. I cried as much as in Raihan's arms. A thing I never did when I felt fragile and needed a backrest and only this time I could lean against the chest of a man's field that always helped me. The young man I've known since he was still wearing a white ash uniform.

"Sorry, sorry I don't know what happened to Nuri." Raihan calmed me from the crying while gently rubbing my head. While Zain who was in my lap looked up his face towards us.

"Mama napa nangis?" asked Zain innocently. I broke free from Raihan's arms and stopped my crying.

"It's okay baby, mama didn't cry anyway" I said in a raucous voice.

Zain's tiny hand grabbed my face and wiped the trail of tears still on my cheek. I kissed Zain with tubers and hugged him tightly. Zain is all I have in this world and it's only because of Zain that I'm trying to live my life.

Raihan watched me who was hugging Zain and his hand grabbed Zain's head and gently rubbed it.

"Mba Nuri is a strong and great mama for Zain, Zain would be proud to have a mama like mba Nuri. Mba do not ever feel that no one loves you because in fact there are still people who love you very much.me!"

I glanced at Raihan and smiled. Only Raihan has been there for us all along. Raihan who always helps me when I'm in trouble if I think there is a lot of debt I owe him.

"Thank you Rai!"

Raihan smiled and drove back to his car. When he found a porridge stall on the side of the road, Raihan stopped his car in front of the porridge stall.

"We have breakfast first?"

I nodded and Raihan took over carrying Zain and I got out of the car. Then we entered the porridge stall and Raihan ordered three bowls of porridge. While waiting for the porridge to come I just sat quietly while Raihan ticked Zain and his joke was able to make Zain laugh crisply.

No long intervals of porridge our order came. With a smile Raihan blew the porridge that was still hot in the spoon then after a cold raihan feed it to Zain's mouth. Zain was seen eating voraciously maybe he felt hungry because the clock had shown at nine in the morning. I'm the one who noticed Raihan in the lyrics by him.

"Why not eat the porridge mba?it's still warm, if it's cold it's not good anymore."

"How can I eat Rai, while you're still feeding my son, I should be feeding Zain Rai!"

"What difference does it make if I feed it? I was not a man who planted the seeds to become Zain but I had considered Zain as my own flesh and blood."

"Why is that Rai?"

"Wheels...!"

"Hum..!"

"Me and Zain are lucky to know a good person like you Rai..!"

"H.he..! I was also lucky to meet mba despite her status as already the wife of people. If only I had been born earlier than mba maybe I married first mba instead of Surya mas."

"Start raiding again Rai!"

"I'm talking seriously mba!"

I looked into Raihan's narrow eyes and Raihan looked at me. I was looking for the truth in her eyes, did Raihan really love me or just feel sorry for my less fortunate life?

"Why look at me like that? aren't you afraid of falling in love with me?"

I looked down at my face." So confident are you Rai."

"Ha.ha.ya already mba, in eating his porridge."

I obeyed Raihan's orders to eat my porridge slowly. Every now and then I glanced at Raihan who was focusing on eating his porridge. Can I fall in love with a man six years younger than me? Ah it feels impossible. I was just amazed at the figure of Raihan who is Sholeh and gentle, I thought.

After finishing eating the porridge, Raihan reapplied his car to his campus. Half an hour later we arrived at a large campus. The most popular private campus in my area. Raihan parked his car in the parking area and saw a line of good cars parked neatly. I believe the average student who studied at this campus was a rich man if he saw the vehicles that exist. because I saw most cars rather than parked motorcycles.

We got out of the car and walked to the campus. I was stunned to see the campus building which was quite magnificent.

"Will you come with me to class or wait for me in the park? Point Raihan on a campus park that is quite spacious.

"I waited in the park only Rai, it's impossible if I joined your class anyway I'm not a student here anyway I bring the child what your friend said later."

"There's really no problem if you want to come to my class."

"No need Rai, I'll just wait in the park. It's in your class."

"Yes already then, wait for me yes mba, I only have one course today maybe about two hours. if you are thirsty or hungry there is a cafeteria," point Raihan somewhere and I follow his index.

I'm nodding.

Raihan took out his wallet and then took the two pieces of red money and he took my hand and put the money in my palm.

"What does this mean Rai?" my many.

"It's money for Zain's snacks in the cafeteria, afraid he's thirsty and hungry." Raihan gave me money for Zain's pocket when I knew it was just an excuse for me to accept it.

"But I have Rai's."

"It's okay mba, just hold it to guard."

I fell silent while holding the money Raihan gave me.

"I went to class first, huh mba?" Raihan walked towards his campus building after getting a nod from me. I carried Zain to step towards the park but only a few steps I heard a woman calling Raihan's name. I turned around and I saw Risa approaching Raihan. I noticed their interaction from a distance not too far away they were seen chatting familiarly and Raihan's face was seen smiling constantly looking at Risa. I don't know why I don't like to see their familiarity especially seeing the expression of Raihan who looks happy to meet Risa. I watched them until they went to college. My chest felt so tight to see the sight. Am I jealous? there's no way I'm jealous because I don't have anything to do with Raihan. For sure I don't understand my feelings at the moment.

I continued my steps towards the park. After arriving at the park I sat on a long bench facing towards the fountain. My mind recalls the meeting of Raihan and Risa and saw the expression of Raihan who looks happy to meet Risa. I don't know why I feel so nervous.

I've been in the park for an hour waiting for Raihan. Zain was thirsty and asked for a drink. I carried Zain walking towards the cafeteria. Arriving at the cafeteria I ordered mineral water and as I was about to walk out I saw Raihan chatting with Risa on a chair while drinking juice. Again my chest feels tight to see it. I continued, I did not want to linger long to pay attention to them but accidentally I hit a woman who was carrying her drink so that the drink fell to the floor. The woman cursed me with a loud voice so invited everyone in the cafeteria to look at us including Raihan and Risa. I apologized repeatedly but the woman still cursed me until Zain cried. I'm ashamed to be the center of attention of everyone in the cafeteria. I also walked quickly to the exit of the canteen leaving the woman I accidentally hit in a state of anger at me.