The Lives of Five Hundred Thousand
Fish for mom

I went out of the kitchen to leave my mother who was nagging because I suggested to buy a half kilo fish but she still did not want to. As usual, I'd rather just give up than argue that would just be a waste of time. Then, I entered my room to take the remaining money from my husband. I'll take a blue note. After that, I rushed outside to meet the fishmonger. Poor him, too long waiting for money from us.

"This is the money, sorry, old man," I said as I thrust a piece of money toward the fishmonger.

"What a neng, thank you."

"Same as mang."

"Nuriy....Nurii....!"

Just as the carpenter was leaving, mother shouted out my name. I don't know what else he would call me. I went inside without answering his call.

"what else is it, ma'am?" I asked the mother who was standing in front of the dining table looking down at the porridge bowl I bought twice.

He looked at me with an unpleasant face in my eyes. I know he would want to scold me again after knowing the porridge is just the sauce and the toping of the crackers that have been wet.

"what are you buying porridge like gini? no chicken and nuts. You deliberately do not use chicken so it is cheaper?" accuse my mother of high voice.

"the chicken meat and the nuts are gone, ma'am, there are leftovers of porridge, gravy and crackers. If you do not believe you have asked the same porridge seller directly." I defended myself because I did not accept being accused of something I did not do.

Rage muffled. He no longer put on his face after I told him to ask the porridge seller directly if he did not believe.

"yes, if so, quickly cook the fish," mother told me while pointing towards the small tub.

"but Zain hasn't eaten Ma'am. I want to bribe Zain first."

Poor son I'm nine o'clock hasn't been fed. I was busy to and fro following my mother's will while my own son had not eaten anything.

"do you think your mom ate this? do not argue, quickly do it if told the same parents. You bastard son of a bitch."

Always call the child ungodly when I refuse his every wish. Mother's boneless tongue often utters words that she shouldn't have to say. My mother was not blind to the knowledge of Islam. He studied almost every day at several places of study. But, unfortunately, my mother's attitude was like someone who never took part in the study.

I'm not talking anymore. I put back the plate filled with egg rice for Zain to eat on the table. I abandoned my intention to feed Zain.

"mama Zen lapal....!" knock my son in my arms.

"yes son, for a minute, mama cook first for grandma. After that we eat okay." Zain nodded. She's not crying. Then, I put my son on the chair.

"Zain wait here yes, mama cook first," I told Zain and he nodded.

I took the fish tub next to the stove and cleaned the fish first. There were five fish big enough then I cut them into two pieces, so the fish became ten pieces. After that, I set aside four pieces for me to cook today.I set aside four pieces for tomorrow and I set aside two pieces for Zain. I deliberately set aside two pieces for my son because Zain rarely ate fish. Besides this fish I bought it. Therefore, I dare to set aside for my son.

I started cooking gulai fish and I am grateful that the seasoning seasoning is still complete which I bought a week ago. Because I myself am one of the people who cut spices when cooking.

Smelling gulai wafted from inside the pan on the stove.

"Has the fish cooked Nur?" mother asked, suddenly behind me.

I glanced for a while then I focused on scraping the gulai orek inside the pan again.

Mom looked towards the pan." How much did you cook the fish?" ask mother.

"just two. isn't it enough to eat mom today?"

"means there are three more, right?" the fish make sure that it does not decrease.

Right my guess is the fish he's already counting. As usual, she always counted the amount of fish she bought. If the number is reduced he will ask me and not infrequently he often scolded me just because the fish is reduced.

I didn't answer the question. I put the barrel on the pan and then I turned off the stove. Then, I walked towards Zain and carried him outside leaving my mother who was looking at me sharply because my question was ignored.

The sun looked high. I started drying the crackers I made last night. There are some rice winnows that I sun neatly lined up on the flower fence.

"hopefully hot today let the crackers dry," I murmured as I stared at some rice winnows filled with wet crackers.

Crutch crutches

The sound of rumbling in my stomach.busy to and fro make me forget that from this morning I have not eaten a mouthful of rice. I saw the clock on the wall already showing ten o'clock. It's worth my stomach rumbling and my body feeling a little shaky.

I saw Zain playing with his henchmen in my room, playing a car that had become a wreck that I met on the street. I washed it clean and I gave it to Zain as his new toy.

I walked towards the kitchen. My mother was no longer at home. I don't know where he's going. Let it be, so that a little quiet my ears do not hear his cry even if it is only one minute.

I took a plate and scooped up the rice and took the rest of the night on the dinner table. I turned to the frying pan on the stove and approached and opened it. It smells good in my nose. I swallowed the saliva looking at the fish gulai in the frying pan. I wanted to eat that gulai but I was afraid of my mother's anger. I stirred the gulai and there were three more fish there. Then, I scooped the gulai and then put rice on the plate I brought. It's just the broth I took because I'm afraid my mom gets angry if I eat the fish.

I am thankful that my stomach is full. My body didn't shake and my stomach didn't shake anymore. However, it was my mouth that let out a burp. I'm always thankful that I can still eat even if I eat anything. There may be people out there whose fate is far worse than mine. Therefore, I endlessly always say gratitude.

I turned to a large plastic bag containing crackers that I had small little hugs and was ready to put in a small stall.

"Zain, take mama between crackers to warung yuk nak?"

"yeah, mama...!" zain replied, smiling happily. The toddler was always happy if I took a walk even though walking.

I walked while leading Zain and carrying a large plastic bag filled with crackers to each stall that was close and far away. There are eight stalls that I pick my crackers at. Sometimes I carry Zain when he's tired of walking.

"Bu iyam, I bring crackers again," I said to one of the shop owners who I cheeked my crackers.

"waduh Nur, the crackers that yesterday there were still ten more continue to have no good at eating. People on do not want to buy it," said Bu iyam.

"Oh, that's not what Mom, I still have left to pull, so I pay the expired."

"yes, I paid him fifteen thousand."

"yes ma'am, and here I am narok again, Bu iyam?"

"yes, hang it there."

I pull the crackers that do not run out sometimes it is difficult and replace it with a new one.