The Lives of Five Hundred Thousand
Raihan's Hugs

I walked out of the canteen and broke into tears. I don't know why I'm crying. Either because it has been maki maki by an unknown person in front of many people or see Raihan with Risa? I don't know.

I took my foot to the garden and Zain was no longer crying, but I was crying myself. Unbeknownst to me Raihan caught up with me from behind.

"Wait until..!"

I stopped my steps and lowered my head.I didn't want Raihan to know that I was crying. But it turns out Raihan already knew and I immediately wiped my tears.

"Mba Nuri and Zain are okay, right? is anyone hurt?"

I shake my head while looking down.

"Rai, I'm just going home by public transport. I shouldn't be here."

"Yes mba, we're going home now."

"Let us go home by public transport, Rai, don't you still have school hours? after all pity Risa if you leave," I said as my gaze pointed at Risa who was watching us with a distance not too far away.

"Mba, do you know I'm with Risa?"

I did not answer Raihan's question but rather stepped away from Raihan. I don't know why I feel upset with him.

Raihan tailed behind me but Risa called out to him. Raihan no longer follows me but waits for Risa to approach him. I'm just getting pissed off by him. I quickly stepped my feet towards the entrance and exit of the campus without looking back because I did not want to see them. Am I jealous? I don't know if I don't understand my feelings either.

While I was waiting for a public transport at a small stop a Pajero stopped right in front of me. Raihan's following me. When he got out of his car I saw Risa was in Raihan's car even sitting in front.

"Mba, come home!"bring Raihan to me.

I smiled with the smile I forced.

"Thank you Rai, let me take the public transport. You just take Risa."

"Mba why the hell did his attitude turn out to be like this the same to me? I'm sorry that I made a mistake with mba."

"You didn't do anything wrong to Rai."

When I was talking to Raihan a public vehicle majoring to my area stopped right in front of the stop I immediately boarded it without talking to Raihan.

"Mba, mba Nuri..!"call Raihan outside the car but I don't pay attention to him.

Shortly the driver drove his car away from the stop and Raihan was still staring sadly at the public transport I was riding.

In the transport I was pensive and confused by my attitude. Why am I angry at Raihan just because he is close to Risa, am I jealous? but why be jealous? I'm a married woman while Raihan and Risa are both single and young so what's wrong if they become lovers? I don't understand my own feelings.

The freight I was riding stopped somewhere and people started out to ride each other's transport majors. I got off while carrying Zain and while I was paying the fare a Pajero stopped right behind the freight car I was riding in. Raihan got out of his car while I walked the other way to look for public transport majoring to my village. When I had gotten the transport majoring my village and was about to board Raihan first pulled my hand and took me into his car without speaking again.

After I was in the car my eyes glanced here and there looking for the whereabouts of Risa but I did not find. Raihan looked at me and smiled.

"Mba, looking for Risa?" ask Raihan.

I turned to Raihan and looked at him waiting for Raihan to tell me where Risa was.

"So Risa just hitchhiked for a while to the bookstore," said Raihan again.

"Owh..!" I looked straight ahead.

"Only Owh?"

I looked back at Raihan.

"What do I need to answer?"

"Mba doesn't want to ask why I can be with Risa?"

"Is it important to ask?"

"Who knows would like to ask so that you don't misunderstand me he.he!"

"You want to be with anyone it's none of my business" I said as I poked my lips together for some reason I still felt annoyed at their closeness.

Raihan grabbed me and tilted my face towards his face. Let us look at each other. I got nervous in Raihan's eyes this close.

"Honest to me, how jealous am I of Risa?"

"Ti.no, un.what am I jealous of," I replied nervously.

Raihan momentarily kissed my lips. I was stunned to get a sudden kiss from Raihan.

"Would you be honest, do I want to kiss you more than I did?"threaten Raihan with a wicked smile.

"I.I don't know!"

Raihan was about to kiss my lips again but before that happened I blocked his lips with my index finger.

"To.please don't be like this Rai, I. married woman."

Raihan was silent then allowed to sit with his gaze forward then rubbed his face with both palms.

"sorry, sorry," Raihan said without seeing me.

I sat down and held Zain. My eyes are straight ahead. Raihan started driving again his car took me somewhere. Along the way we were silent there was no chatter whatsoever. Raihan changed his attitude after I refused to kiss him earlier. In the middle of our residence I ventured to open my voice first.

"Why are you only briefly Rai's lecture?" ask me to get stale.

Raihan glanced towards me with his tail eyes and with an expressionless face.

"Owh!"

I looked at the streets we were walking on and I felt that the roads we were walking on were not the way back to my village. Out of curiosity I asked Raihan again.

"Where are we going Rai? like this isn't the way home."

"I have a need to go somewhere for a moment."

"Owh!"

Raihan stopped his car in front of a large showroom. He opened his seatbelt and turned to look at me who was holding Zain who was asleep.

"Will you come down or wait here for a minute?"

"I'll just wait here Rai..!"

"Well, wait a minute!"

I'm nodding.

Raihan got out of the car and walked towards the showroom. I watched Raihan from the car, what did Raihan do to the car showroom? does he want to buy a car? my thinking. I saw a security bend his body a little as if to pay respect. After that came a middle-aged man greeting Raihan and seemed to have great respect for Raihan. Besides, I saw some SPGs visiting Raihan and saluting him. And before long I saw everyone in the showroom gathering and it looked like they were having an impromptu meeting and Raihan was leading the meeting.

I was astonished at the attitude of everyone in the showroom who looked very respectful towards Raihan. Does Raihan work in this showroom? but why do other employees respect Raihan so much as if Raihan was like a boss? a question mark on my mind about Raihan and I was curious.

Fifteen minutes passed Raihan returned to the car where I was waiting for him while holding onto Zain who was asleep. Raihan opened the car door and smiled so sweetly that I was stunned to see him.

"Sorry, I've been waiting too long."

I just smiled.

Raihan drove his car away from the car showroom and on the way I ventured to ask him about what he was going to the showroom for even though it was none of my business but honestly I was curious.

"Wheels...!"

"Yes mba!"

"Can I ask you something?"

"By mba."

"Did you work in the car showroom?"

Raihan smiled widely and stroked his temple, "Yes you could say like that!"

"But why did the people there look so respectful to you?"

"Could you have noticed me?"

"I didn't see it on purpose."

"Mba Nuri is adorable?"

"What's adorable Rai, I've become a mother where there's an anxiety."

"But in my eyes it's always as adorable as it used to be."

We chatted in jest until we forgot about the showroom until we arrived at Raihan's house.

"You're taking us to your house again Rai?" I asked after arriving in front of Raihan's house and Raihan took over Zain from my sleeping lap.

"The mba and Zain stuff is still here, right? it will be late in the afternoon if you want to go home. Zain fell asleep anyway."

I followed behind Raihan to his room to put Zain to sleep. After Raihan put Zain on the bed, Raihan looked at me without blinking. I lowered my face because I was nervous about being looked at like that by Raihan.

Actually I wanted to ask about the showroom because Raihan has not answered my question. But it seems Raihan does not like to discuss the matter of his workplace so I just ponder my curiosity.

"Mba Nuri's hungry? I was going to have lunch outside but seeing Zain fall asleep I felt sorry for Zain if he disturbed his sleep."

I just smiled.

"Will I wait for food outside?"

"Don't bother Rai, just cook noodles."

"Seriously want to eat noodles?"

"Yes, lunch gini seems good eating Rai egg noodles!" Raihan never knew if eating noodles was a rare food I ate before I got close to him because noodles and eggs are the type of food that I rarely buy because of the limited money I have.

"Yes, let's cook noodles!" take Raihan and then we walk to the kitchen.

"Rai, let me cook you just wait at the dinner table."

Raihan obeyed my orders he walked towards the dining table and I walked towards the kitchen set. Because noodles and eggs are available on the kitchen set table I no longer suck looking for it.

When I was cooking the noodles arrived two stocky hands coiled around my body. Raihan hugged me from behind. I was shocked to get a hug from Raihan suddenly arrived.

"Wheels....!"

"Please allow me to hug you like this for a moment" Raihan said, hugging me tightly.

I closed my eyes, I let Raihan hold me because I felt comfortable in his arms. I was never treated gently by my husband, I was never held by my mother and my older brother, I lost a hug from a father since I was a child, I'm not hypocritical that I do need a hug from someone who's sincere to me.

I knew what I was doing was a mistake and a sin being embraced by a man who was not my muhrim. And I might say I betrayed my husband. But I don't have any relationship with Raihan can it be said to be a traitor? I forget for a moment the problem of sin and betrayal because I really want a hug from a sincere person to me.