The Lives of Five Hundred Thousand
Raihan Confession

I took Zain into Raihan's room, and put him on the bed. I looked at the face of my sleeping son and I kissed his face.

When I was about to leave the room, there was a strong wind entering the room through the open window. Maybe Raihan deliberately opened it so that there was air in his room. I was stunned to feel a gust of wind big enough to make the painting displayed on the wall fall on the floor. I immediately closed the window because the wind was quite alarming. After that, I turned to look at Raihan's favorite painting that was lying on the floor and approached him. I grabbed him and I looked at the painting and I felt his face was no stranger.

After that, I will display it again but because the location of the nails attached to the wall is high enough, I have to tiptoe so that the painting I want to display reaches the nails. But unfortunately when I tiptoed my leg sprained and caused a loss of balance and fell.

"brugh!" I screamed in pain and the painting I was holding fell down. I was anxious to see the painting lying on the floor two meters away from me. I was so afraid that the painting was damaged that I approached to grab it. But before my hand held it, I saw a name on the back of the painting.

"Lady Aisha." I read the name that was written with large letters behind the painting I was holding.

"Kok, is my name on this painting? Is it just a coincidence? but..if you notice from the line of his face this painting is like.my face!" lirih.

I immediately felt my cheeks, nose and chin. To make sure again that this painting is my face or not I open my hijab, then I untangled the long, thick hair that I had covered with hijab for three years because I had not worn hijab. After marriage, I started wearing them.

I walked towards Raihan's wardrobe, then stood up and reflected in front of him. I looked at my own face and aligned the painting I was holding with mine. Instantly my eyes widened to see the equation of my face with the face in the painting. How I didn't realize all this time that the face of the painting was my face. I, who rarely reflect, have forgotten the shape of my own face.

I who was staring at the mirror with long unraveling hair while holding a dumbfounded painting saw Raihan arriving behind me. I don't know when Raihan came into the room because I was busy equating my face with the face in the painting. I see from the mirror Raihan looks at me without blinking. I who did not have time to wear the hijab felt ashamed at being looked at like that by him.

I turned towards Raihan who was standing right behind me.

"Wheels...!" I said nervously.

"Do you know who the face in the painting is?"

"What...This painting I'm Rai?"

Raihan smiled sweetly and then said, "yes mba, the painting is mba Nuri. I painted it three years ago right on the day I got married. I deliberately painted it because I knew I would no longer meet the mba who already belonged to someone else. Do you know how I feel when I get married? destroyed once mba, even I had depression.

"Wheels...!"

"Honestly I told you that I've been in love with mba since we first met exactly four years ago. But unfortunately, I just thought I was a kid. Many times I think why I wasn't the first one born and became a man so that I could first marry mba instead of another man."

I feel my saliva stuck in my throat hearing Raihan's explanation and confession about the painting and about his feelings for me long ago. I did not expect at all that Raihan who was still wearing a white ash-and-white uniform and I thought of as my own sister had put a heart on me. It was only right after I helped him when he fell off his bike that Raihan often met me at home or at my workplace.

"Where have you been for the past three years Rai? why don't you ever see me again?"

"I don't go where mba is, I'm still in this village. It's just that I busy myself to do my activities because I don't want to constantly think about the Mba Nuri who has become someone else's."

"Well what does this painting mean if you want to forget me? isn't this painting just gonna make you forget me?"

"I don't want to forget mba at all even I can't forget mba until anytime. Even though I can't have myself mba, at least I can still see the face of mba through this painting."

"Why..why didn't you say long ago that you loved me Rai?"

"Because I used to feel unworthy, I was still in school and had no income."

Raihan stepped one step closer to me and with a distance that only leaves a few inches, his hands outstretched and then flicked my straight hair behind my ears. I just shut up and just duck. After that, Raihan lifted my chin so that my face looked up then our gazes met.

"One thing you should know is that my love and love for mba is still in my heart to this day."

"I love you mba, even though it's somebody's wife. He..he !" said Raihan then took the painting in my hand and put it back on display.

"Until when are you displaying my face painting Rai?"

"First mba!" raihan replied while looking at the painting that had been displayed. Raihan's short answer was enough to leave me dumbfounded. Is that how much Raihan loves me so that the painting will be displayed forever or Raihan is just boasting, I thought.

Raihan out of the room. I approached Zain and joined the fall beside him intending to take a nap. But my eyes could not close my eyes. For a long time I was silent with the thought of where I was. But the more I thought the more dizzy my head felt. I got up from the bed and walked out of the room.

I closed the door slowly so that Raihan did not know if I was out of the room. I walked up to him who was playing his phone and sat on the sofa. Without Raihan realizing I was standing behind him while watching him looking at the many pictures of me in his cell phone gallery. It turned out that Raihan was still photographing me with various expressions without my knowledge.

"Ehem!"

Raihan immediately kept his phone and looked back.

"Mba Nuri!"

"Is Rai busy?"

"Oh, no. Here you sit down," he said, patting the sofa beside him.

I circled the sofa and sat on the edge of the long sofa that Raihan was sitting on. Raihan glanced at me and said, "very far away to sit! here's the deck," while patting the sofa next to him.

I smiled and shook my head and replied, "here is Rai!"

"Are I afraid to kiss?" asked Raihan smiling seductively.

I did not respond to Raihan's temptation but rather switched the conversation.

"Rai, can I ask you a question?"

"Ask me the mba!"

"Did you tell Surya that I was in the hospital?"

Raihan nodded and replied, "Yes mba, I think my husband should know that his wife is sick. But I didn't expect such a response. A man who has no sense of responsibility. And I also told Mba's mom, but unfortunately she didn't come to the hospital."

"My mom won't care about me, I'll get sick or die even if she won't lose me." I said with trembling lips remembering my mother who never cared for me from when I was a child to this day. And without me knowing it, I've exposed my mother's ugly attitude towards me to Raihan. The attitude of the mother that I have been covering from people and my neighbors.

Raihan looked calm, he didn't feel surprised when I told him how mom's attitude had been to me all along. Does Raihan know how mom's been acting to me all this time? my thinking.

"If I was in a position like mba, maybe I'd rather leave the house."

"But I can't be like you Rai, I can't leave my mother no matter what her attitude is to me. If I leave who'll take care of him if he's sick?"

"That's what I like about you mba, mba has a sincere heart."