The Lives of Five Hundred Thousand
Change in attitude Raihan

It's been a week since mom left the house because she was charged with debt by a loan shark and she ran out the window. I don't know where he is at the moment. Inevitably I also have to pay the debt of the mother of two million because the loan shark came back to my house with two hoodlums full of tattoos. I'm afraid they'll tear apart my house if I don't pay for it and I'm forced to use Raihan's money to pay my mother's debt. I am grateful that in the midst of being squeezed there is still sustenance through the hands of Raihan.

I haven't seen Raihan in a week. Maybe he has accepted the reality and has started to forget me. Let it be, it's better that we never see each other again even though I actually feel lost but I can what to oppose the wish of Bu Haji so that I stay away from his son.

And for one week I became an unemployed man whose job was only to improve his home and take care of Zain even though I actually needed to make money because my money was running low. I no longer sell traveling fried foods since the villagers accused me of having an affair with Raihan.

It should be that today is the date when Surya sent five hundred thousand dollars as his living to me because today the date of youth and Surya mas is already payday. I grabbed my old-fashioned cell phone lying in the desk drawer, a phone that is very rarely used. I saw the mailbox but there was no message from Surya mas and no notification from m Banking.

Turns out his words were correct that he would not give me any more material income. I smiled wryly looking at my phone screen. If he doesn't want to give me any more material income, why doesn't he just divorce me? Don't beat me like this.

I looked at my phone screen, it felt like a long time did not open my social media since I was married. There is a sense of longing and curiosity as well as my virtual world friends.

I grabbed Zain and carried him and went out the house to the counter to buy a pulse that I would use for the internet. Coincidentally in my village there is a pulse counter so I don't have to go far to find it. When I was walking to the side, I saw Raihan was chatting with Risa using his motor sport. It looks like Risa is holding Raihan's waist tightly. They looked like a matching couple.We were in opposite directions and Raihan saw me but his gaze immediately turned straight. I swallowed my saliva seeing Raihan's change in attitude. Don't say hello to me, just seeing me seems reluctant.

Is Raihan really able to forget about me and already be able to open his heart to other women? maybe it's better so even though it actually feels very hard to accept reality. Honestly, I'm starting to like it and I don't want to lose it. But I remember the warning of the Hajj ma'am telling me to stay away from him I can't argue. In addition, my status also has a husband even though my husband always behaves badly to me.

After arriving at the counter, I had no idea. I met up again with Raihan and Risa who were buying pulses as well. Raihan glanced at me when I had just arrived but before long he turned his eyes back with a cold face.

"Uncle lehan, uncle lehan," Zain shouted suddenly as his hand stretched out towards Raihan who was standing beside me at a distance of two meters. Raihan turned his head towards us but he was silent but his gaze looked at Zain who was whining at him. I saw the look in Raihan's eyes like there was a deep longing there.

Suddenly Risa was struggling spoiled in Raihan's hands and staring cynically at me as if to show that Raihan is hers.

"Son, it'll be out of here and take me to the bookstore, right? pinta Risa was spoiled and her hands were still wriggling on Raihan's arms.

Raihan looks uncomfortable with Risa's behavior. So he said in a repulsive tone, "your hands should not be like this Ris, it's not nice to see people."

Raihan spoke to Risa as his hand removed Risa's hand from her arm slowly but her gaze and eyes could not be separated from me. Risa pressed her lips forward, it seemed like she was upset over Raihan's treatment of her. I lowered my face, it was painful to see the figure we like being touched by others. This is what Raihan feels if he imagines me being touched by Surya? I remember very well when Raihan bullied me and said, "how does it feel when the woman I love her body is full of kissmarks? does Raihan know why I'm sick? and did Raihan see my body full of kissmarks because of Surya? I asked in my mind.

If Risa dares to do that, it means that Raihan and Risa have become lovers. There was a dislike to see it and honestly I was jealous but I immediately brushed it off. I can't have that feeling. Let Raihan be happy because all this time without realizing I have hurt his feelings by marrying Surya mas.

While walking and Zain still sobbed I shed tears. I am sad to see the situation. I was sad to see my son who had lost the affection of Raihan. And I'm also jealous to see Raihan already has a lover. I felt really about to lose my seat, a place to pour out the grievances of my life.

Arriving at home I dropped Zain who was no longer crying from my sling in the living room. Zain searched for his toy while I went into the room and put my body in the door. Clutching my knees together, I cried, spilling my heart. For a long time I cried myself to sleep on the floor and when I woke up I found Zain asleep on the carpet in front of the TV. I smiled at Zain who was sleeping alone without me. Very understanding of him.

Day after night, Zain was sleeping soundly while I was still playing my phone which I rarely used. I started surfing on my social media that I had ignored for three years. Luckily, I still remember the email and the password.

I was looking at my social media called Facebook. I saw a lot of accounts that asked for my friendship including the account of my husband's ex-wife, Ipah Saripah. I don't know why I asked for friendship. Was he curious about the face of the second wife of Surya who had never shown my nose before her? or just show off to me. I accepted his friendship, deliberately just wanting to know what his purpose was.

After that, I opened the inbox and saw dozens of rows of messages from people who knew or from people I did not recognize. because so many messages made me lazy to open the message. But when I was about to close the message, my eyes were fixed on a name that looked very familiar. Curious, I opened a message from him.

"How are you Nuri? do you remember me? where are you now? are you married?"

I checked the date of the message from Andre arivu, my old SD friend. It turned out that he sent a message already one year ago and it appears that his Facebook is no longer active. On a whim I reply to him, because it is not certain that my message will be returned if you see the social media that is no longer active.

"Thank you for my good news, Dre, and what about yourself and your wife? I still live in Indonesia."

Then I peeked at his Facebook profile because I was curious about the tumben once Andre sent me a message. There was no status that he was sent on his porch. The current status is last year's status. So that means he has not been active on Facebook since one year ago.

It's not just status that I've noticed. I didn't find a picture of his wife on Andre's profile. Similarly, the wedding photo of her was lost. Before I got married and did not know Raihan I had been stalking his facebook when I just knew Andre's facebook name from one of my friends. I feel very disappointed because the person I have been looking for, the person who once invited me to marry after adulthood later when we were in Elementary School was already married to another woman. From there I realized the words of a little child should not be trusted. After that, I no longer open Facebook because I feel my hope is dashed.

After my wish was dashed on andre, I received a proposal from Surya who I only knew for two weeks. It was also due to the insistence of my mother and first brother to get married with solar mas soon. I don't know why those who arrived told me to get married. And I ended up having a marriage that had no direction and no future.

Before I end social media, I upload some cute and adorable photos of Zain and I caption, "you are everything.my son!"

A few minutes later, the photo of Zain I uploaded got a lot of likes and positive comments from dozens of friends in my virtual world. Zain was handsome and very similar to me. I wonder, usually the boy is more likely to be similar to his papa but Zain has absolutely no resemblance to Surya mas.